A huge difference between the "Anas" and "Mias"

JerseyGirlHeart
JerseyGirlHeart Posts: 133 Member
edited October 6 in Social Groups
I find on this group and the forums the "recovering" Mias (Bulemics) and the Anas have a huge difference in personality, to say the least. Myself being a "mia", I have never been thin. I have no idea what its like to be too thin so it is really hard to relate with an ana. Although both having very bad relationships with food, I find that anas have a harder time trying to recover. A lot of the girls are very negative and very depressing, and I want them to know that they can through this. I am trying to help myself and help others, but it really just makes me more sad to see all the very negative posts. I wonder if anyone else is seeing this problem. I just want to get myself and help others get a grip on their life, because I do not see a good future of health ahead of me. I cannot control my purging even still, and I am trying so hard. The anas are so small, and a lot of the mias want to be small, so its just this vicious cycle I feel. Help me!

Replies

  • Hm. This is tough. I don't really know because I was always sort of a hybrid of ana/mia (restricting and purging/over exercising). I don't really think it's easier to recover from one over the other, and the mentality of control is a constant between the two.
    A lot of people find these sort of communities to be triggering. I can say that some people on MFP make it hard to support, as they are constantly negative. I will say, that no one gets better until they decide they want to get better...no one else can make them. So the best we can do is support one another, and believe that there is more out there than our eating disorders.
  • Amybcb
    Amybcb Posts: 292 Member
    Agree with pink, no one will get better until they DECIDE they want to get better. When I was anorexic (in high school/college) my friends tried in vain so many times to talk to me and get me help. My mom even threatened me a few times. But I didn't WANT help. I wanted to stay skinny. It wasn't until I decided on my own that I wanted to get better that I did. It has to be a conscious effort.

    I also have suffered from both anorexia and bulimia. I think the anorexia was more difficult to recover from but only because when I was bulimic; I had children and was scared straight by heart issues that the purging caused. So I literally stopped overnight. However, I find the mental aspect of either is very difficult to overcome. It's a challenge. I always told those who I counseled over eating disorders, that you CAN get better. However, you must realize that you can also fall off the wagon and have set backs. You won't just "get better" and never deal with food issues again. It just doesn't work that way for us. Whenever life throws stress our way, it will be tempting to fall into old coping mechanisms.

    As I've dealt with both eating disorders, so I can relate to both sides. I was super skinny at one time. And I'm overweight now. And when I was purging I'd lost the baby weight but was never "skinny" like before, just average. I think sometimes I wish(ed) that I could have that insane dedication and commitment I had when I was anorexic. The "I'd do anything" to be small mentality. But then again, I'm scared of it because it is so all consumming that you cannot find happiness when you are thinking/living that way. It's just such a crazy battle :(
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
    I understand where you are coming from. I used to be mia but am now ana..that doesnt happen often but my metabolism changed for what ever reason. I was never skinny but wanted to be. I was more athletic. Played alot of sports. But regardless of what disease you have unless you want to get better you wont. I resented every time I had to go in to the hospital this last 2 years. I didnt want to go..and it didnt help. That was my choice. (It was kind of off and on thing) but now I want to get better but I have that struggle with the ed voice. One thing that is different is the thoughts are more obsessive now that my weight is lower. I dont binge anymore but still purge on occasion(much better than it was)
    I had to delete some people on her b/c they didnt want to get better and that triggered me. Nothing against them..we are just in different places. All I could do is share what I had been through and hope that might help change their minds. Either way both disease suck!
  • thinkingthingirl
    thinkingthingirl Posts: 153 Member
    I agree with you to an extent. I think it just goes down to the different struggles ana's and mia's have with their illness. No one has exactly the same views on food eating and exercise. What might be ok for one isnt for another. I think being mia we dont have that fear of eating that anas do. Cos it dont stay in our belly long enough to make a difference really. :)

    I guess we are all just struggling though! *sigh*
  • jvw317
    jvw317 Posts: 25
    Struggling with both bulimia and anorexia (in separate periods of my life obviously), I do know that neither is easier to recover from. While bulimia is a compulsion, you also probably want to stop the bingeing, giving you more of an incentive to get better. With anorexia, on the other hand, you are obsessed with restricting and, most likely, are getting positive reinforcement for your actions by the scale. Because of that, I don't think it is safe to say one is easier to get over than the other. However, from my experience in treatment, many of the women with anorexia were more resistant to change, but not all. It really just depends on the person... While they're both eating disorders, they cause very different feelings and usually stem from different things (but definitely not always). Yeah, we do all probably seem a little negative, but this is a draining disease. While it might not be in our best interests to be negative all of the time, at least we're talking about this stuff to someone...
  • *WARNING: COULD BE TRIGGERING* I have a much harder time thinking of myself as anorexic than I do as bulimic. I *know* the binging and purging behavior is abnormal and not healthy. There is no confusion on that point. It's scary and bad, and feels horrible. It's also the behavior my husband is most concerned about. The restricting is different. I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't on a diet or, if I wasn't actively on one, I knew I should be and was just not living up to my own standards. Eating fewer calories has been a life-long goal. In addition, I have read tons of research that supports the idea that eating fewer calories can extend your life and make you healthier as you age. (I like to ignore the part where it says not to let your BMI go below 18.5, though, and not to lose weight too quickly or restrict too far.) So, even though I meet the clinical definition for anorexia in terms of having lost my period and being underweight, I have a much harder time thinking of myself in those terms, because I still don't truly see my being underweight as a bad thing. But I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that B&P is horrible for me, and I can't allow myself to let that continue. So, anyway... I think what I'm trying to say is that I am sure anorexics do have a harder time recovering, because I know that, if my behavior really is anorexic, I'm going to have a much harder time accepting that (which is a necessary first step in recovering) than I do at accepting that B&P = bulimia and is therefore not okay.
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
    Another thing that happens with anorexia is the lower your weight the more invasive the thoughts are. So depending on where people are at sometimes they just say it with out thinking. I have to stop before I speak. They are doing many studies thinking that anorexia is a disease of the brain. Kind of like how schizophrenics hear voices. Not to the same degree but that is what they believe the lack of nutrition does. I take part in all kinds of research studies and it is very interesting all the things they study.Now annabelle I have a hard time believing I am anorexic to and my BMI is way lower than what the cut of is. I just dont see it so I dont believe it. It doesnt matter what the scale says I always think I am fat. So your ED is keeping you in denial so it makes ok to restrict. You just want to stop the B & P right? Not the restricting or exercising....
  • Now annabelle I have a hard time believing I am anorexic to and my BMI is way lower than what the cut of is. I just dont see it so I dont believe it. It doesnt matter what the scale says I always think I am fat. So your ED is keeping you in denial so it makes ok to restrict. You just want to stop the B & P right? Not the restricting or exercising....

    Sort of. I don't actually exercise a great deal at the moment (very little time and energy for it - right now, it's only one dance class a week, and I missed that last week and will probably miss this week as well, thanks to the flu...), and I don't really feel like I restrict *that* much (I know numbers are a no-no, but my kcals are high compared with what I see in most of the other diaries on MFP of those with ED...). It's more that I just don't see a big need to gain weight. My only adverse health symptom is the fact that my period stopped, but it stopped well before I was underweight. It stopped at a weight I hope to never, ever see again. In every other, measurable way, I'm super, super healthy. My fasting blood sugar is in the low 70s. My pulse rate and BP are textbook perfect. My iron levels, calcium, potassium, hormones, etc. are all totally normal. So I don't feel a strong pull to change things. The only real *issue* is the lack of a period, and, well... I'm 37. It's not entirely impossible that I'm just in early menopause. My estrogen levels were low even when I was over 100 pounds heavier than I am now, so although I understand that it's likely that the rapid weight loss caused the periods to stop, it's not impossible to think that they might have done so on their own, just because my body decided it was time for early menopause. The B&P is something that I can't argue with. It's a definite bad, bad thing. But my weight itself... I have a harder time seeing that as a problem. Part of me understands that a BMI below 17.5 is just unhealthy no matter how you slice it, but part of me says "screw that - where's the proof?" when I look at the rest of my health-related tests and see absolutely nothing wrong (other than a missing period... and who really *misses* that, anyway?)
  • dancin2011
    dancin2011 Posts: 92 Member
    I disagree. I think that eating disorders are all very much alike, yet very different at the same time. But I don't think any one diagnosis is easier/better/worse than another. I have struggled with both bulimia and anorexia and they are both equally difficult to recover from, for different reasons. I have a LOT of friends with eating disorders (I've been to treatment several times) and while our stories are all different, we can all very much relate to one another no matter what our diagnosis may be. It's not really about the food.
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
    Now annabelle I have a hard time believing I am anorexic to and my BMI is way lower than what the cut of is. I just dont see it so I dont believe it. It doesnt matter what the scale says I always think I am fat. So your ED is keeping you in denial so it makes ok to restrict. You just want to stop the B & P right? Not the restricting or exercising....

    Sort of. I don't actually exercise a great deal at the moment (very little time and energy for it - right now, it's only one dance class a week, and I missed that last week and will probably miss this week as well, thanks to the flu...), and I don't really feel like I restrict *that* much (I know numbers are a no-no, but my kcals are high compared with what I see in most of the other diaries on MFP of those with ED...). It's more that I just don't see a big need to gain weight. My only adverse health symptom is the fact that my period stopped, but it stopped well before I was underweight. It stopped at a weight I hope to never, ever see again. In every other, measurable way, I'm super, super healthy. My fasting blood sugar is in the low 70s. My pulse rate and BP are textbook perfect. My iron levels, calcium, potassium, hormones, etc. are all totally normal. So I don't feel a strong pull to change things. The only real *issue* is the lack of a period, and, well... I'm 37. It's not entirely impossible that I'm just in early menopause. My estrogen levels were low even when I was over 100 pounds heavier than I am now, so although I understand that it's likely that the rapid weight loss caused the periods to stop, it's not impossible to think that they might have done so on their own, just because my body decided it was time for early menopause. The B&P is something that I can't argue with. It's a definite bad, bad thing. But my weight itself... I have a harder time seeing that as a problem. Part of me understands that a BMI below 17.5 is just unhealthy no matter how you slice it, but part of me says "screw that - where's the proof?" when I look at the rest of my health-related tests and see absolutely nothing wrong (other than a missing period... and who really *misses* that, anyway?)
    Glad you are seeing a therapist my friend!! You are talking to a person who can rationalize anything. lol I am laughing as I read what you wrote because it sounds like something I would have said a while back. But that is ok. i am glad that you are healthy because it really sucks being sick. I would love to work out but I would prob drop over if I did. Just keep up the good work :flowerforyou:
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
    I disagree. I think that eating disorders are all very much alike, yet very different at the same time. But I don't think any one diagnosis is easier/better/worse than another. I have struggled with both bulimia and anorexia and they are both equally difficult to recover from, for different reasons. I have a LOT of friends with eating disorders (I've been to treatment several times) and while our stories are all different, we can all very much relate to one another no matter what our diagnosis may be. It's not really about the food.
    You are right I have suffered with both of them and they suck! And even though everyone is different there is that connection...now we connect to fight against them!
  • Now annabelle I have a hard time believing I am anorexic to and my BMI is way lower than what the cut of is. I just dont see it so I dont believe it. It doesnt matter what the scale says I always think I am fat. So your ED is keeping you in denial so it makes ok to restrict. You just want to stop the B & P right? Not the restricting or exercising....

    Sort of. I don't actually exercise a great deal at the moment (very little time and energy for it - right now, it's only one dance class a week, and I missed that last week and will probably miss this week as well, thanks to the flu...), and I don't really feel like I restrict *that* much (I know numbers are a no-no, but my kcals are high compared with what I see in most of the other diaries on MFP of those with ED...). It's more that I just don't see a big need to gain weight. My only adverse health symptom is the fact that my period stopped, but it stopped well before I was underweight. It stopped at a weight I hope to never, ever see again. In every other, measurable way, I'm super, super healthy. My fasting blood sugar is in the low 70s. My pulse rate and BP are textbook perfect. My iron levels, calcium, potassium, hormones, etc. are all totally normal. So I don't feel a strong pull to change things. The only real *issue* is the lack of a period, and, well... I'm 37. It's not entirely impossible that I'm just in early menopause. My estrogen levels were low even when I was over 100 pounds heavier than I am now, so although I understand that it's likely that the rapid weight loss caused the periods to stop, it's not impossible to think that they might have done so on their own, just because my body decided it was time for early menopause. The B&P is something that I can't argue with. It's a definite bad, bad thing. But my weight itself... I have a harder time seeing that as a problem. Part of me understands that a BMI below 17.5 is just unhealthy no matter how you slice it, but part of me says "screw that - where's the proof?" when I look at the rest of my health-related tests and see absolutely nothing wrong (other than a missing period... and who really *misses* that, anyway?)
    Glad you are seeing a therapist my friend!! You are talking to a person who can rationalize anything. lol I am laughing as I read what you wrote because it sounds like something I would have said a while back. But that is ok. i am glad that you are healthy because it really sucks being sick. I would love to work out but I would prob drop over if I did. Just keep up the good work :flowerforyou:
    Lol! Yeah, I am totally great at rationalizing and at arguing. I was planning to go to law school before we had my daughter. My husband hates it. I'm glad you are laughing with me. I hate feeling at odds with everyone, but being dishonest about where my head is at doesn't seem very productive, either. :)
  • dancin2011
    dancin2011 Posts: 92 Member
    I disagree. I think that eating disorders are all very much alike, yet very different at the same time. But I don't think any one diagnosis is easier/better/worse than another. I have struggled with both bulimia and anorexia and they are both equally difficult to recover from, for different reasons. I have a LOT of friends with eating disorders (I've been to treatment several times) and while our stories are all different, we can all very much relate to one another no matter what our diagnosis may be. It's not really about the food.
    You are right I have suffered with both of them and they suck! And even though everyone is different there is that connection...now we connect to fight against them!

    Right on! Keep up the fight!
  • I'm don't have bulimia or anorexia but selective eating disorder (SED) and I understand how hard it is to find help.
    Basically, my diet hasn't really changed much since I was 5 and i'm 35 now. I can't eat meat, fruit or vegatables without being sick.
    We all have an eating disorder and we should all help each other with theirs.
  • littlemili
    littlemili Posts: 625 Member
    I definitely find it hard to understand what those with bulimia go through, what triggers them and so on, because I've never really been on that side of eating disorders. For me, it's as hard to understand that now as it was for me to understand eating disorders at all before I experienced one first hand. But I guess we all have a similar understanding of what it's like to have a dysfunctional relationship with food, and we probably all have other issues which caused that to come about...so I think it's just as easy to support those with a different kind of eating disorder. For me, it's easier in fact, because I don't feel triggered by over eaters, bulimics or SED sufferers whereas I do get triggered by anorexic-type behaviours.
  • Leo_Joy_HG
    Leo_Joy_HG Posts: 57 Member
    I find on this group and the forums the "recovering" Mias (Bulemics) and the Anas have a huge difference in personality, to say the least. Myself being a "mia", I have never been thin. I have no idea what its like to be too thin so it is really hard to relate with an ana. Although both having very bad relationships with food, I find that anas have a harder time trying to recover. A lot of the girls are very negative and very depressing, and I want them to know that they can through this. I am trying to help myself and help others, but it really just makes me more sad to see all the very negative posts. I wonder if anyone else is seeing this problem. I just want to get myself and help others get a grip on their life, because I do not see a good future of health ahead of me. I cannot control my purging even still, and I am trying so hard. The anas are so small, and a lot of the mias want to be small, so its just this vicious cycle I feel. Help me!

    I understand. I've only ever been bulimic (although i have had/have some ana tendencies). I sometimes find it very difficult to relate to anorexics and yet part of me is jealous of them...

    But as littlemili says all of us here have something of a dysfunctional relationship with food, and so can still offer support and more understanding of each other than perhaps those without ED have.
  • Saxmis
    Saxmis Posts: 84
    I'm a binge/purge anorexic (I binge and purge like a bulimic, but my binges tend not to be as big... X cals. max. and I tend to purge almost everything I eat, regardless of whether it's a binge or not. I restrict or fast most of the time. I also over-exercise, take laxatives and diuretics.)

    Because of this, I can easily understand both sides and I have been both at very low weights (x lbs) and very high weights (x lbs). I think this means I can sit on both sides, understand both, and have close connections with people of all/most EDs.

    [WEIGHTS AND CALORIES REMOVED BY MOD]
  • I know there is a difference between anorexia and bulimia.

    But we are all in this group because of an EATING DISORDER.

    I just stopped worrying about "Ana" and "Mia." I stopped worrying about how long it takes to recover (for both anorexia and bulimia nervosa)

    I am focused on recovery. However long it will take. Relapse or no relapse. But I will survive this. I will NOT let this dictate my life, my death, my happiness. I just want to be NORMAL.
  • EllaScarlet
    EllaScarlet Posts: 165 Member
    Personally I think that eating disorders are too complex and personal to be able to categorize. In terms of recovery all I would say is that when I was anorexic i was not leading a normal life, and therefore recovering and getting my life back was incredibly rewarding. However, I am still bulimic, because for me it is easy to lead a normal life whilst still b/ping at times of stress and anxiety. B/ping has become such an ingrained method of relieving tension that recovery from bulimia, for me, is proving to be a lot more difficult.
  • dancin2011
    dancin2011 Posts: 92 Member
    Personally I think that eating disorders are too complex and personal to be able to categorize. In terms of recovery all I would say is that when I was anorexic i was not leading a normal life, and therefore recovering and getting my life back was incredibly rewarding. However, I am still bulimic, because for me it is easy to lead a normal life whilst still b/ping at times of stress and anxiety. B/ping has become such an ingrained method of relieving tension that recovery from bulimia, for me, is proving to be a lot more difficult.

    Yes, this is why they are so different, yet the same. Personally, it was when I was bulimic that I really could not lead a normal life at all. I did not only binge and purge during times of stress. I did it constantly. Not that I could lead a normal life when I was anorexic either, but when I think back it was bulimia that really put a damper on me being able to do anything.
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