i'm sorry to hear that. sounds like he seemed like a good guy but proved not to be. the only thing i could think of was maybe he wasn't feeling the chemistry when you met, but didn't know quite how to break it to you that he wasn't interested, so instead he asked you out instead and decided to bail later over the phone?

there are so many more great guys out there! you will definitely find something else!

I just think guys are flaky, not just guys actually. I think there are too many things to be distracted by these days. I get that a lot, someone who blows up your phone for a bit and then it just starts tapering to short answers or nothing. Even when they were the one initiating and getting all gung ho. It seems like they only want a date or a person to get romantic with if they have nothing better to do. It's annoying. I'm tired of trying to make a plan and it being all "I don't know what I'm doing yet" and then late and last minute they say "what's up?" like nothing and want to go out that second.
This guy is making friends, he is fielding offers even if they aren't other girls. Always going to be a game or a bro or something and then only when there isn't anything, there will be contact. Sucks but true in my experience. We have too many toys plus we don't know how to commit to anything because the world is open and there may be something better to do.

I HATE DATING... That's all.


Blah. I don't know why this happens but seems to happen alot. I don't know why guys do this...

^this^

I once had a guy invite me out again, change his phone network to the same as mine, declare he'd never met anyone like me before. Then, he text me when he was on his way over to pick me up to say he was on his way. Then, he text me 20mins later to say he had a death in the family. Then I never heard from him again!!! Some people are just plain crazy!! :laugh:

You both behaved the same way. Make plans, stick to them. There are not a lot of excuses. I am extremely annoyed when a woman doesn't follow through on plans. He broke dates, you broke dates.

Basically, the OP was not sufficiently interested in the guy. The guy also had issues too. Likely, he would not have been a good fit for the OP.

Relationships are best when the interactions flow free & easily.

In my short experience of dating so far, I have been in the situation where a guy will be crazy texting me and contacting me at first then slowly it tapers off and then just goes away completely. I call it "the poofer". I don't get it. I don't understand. It's like... as soon as you know that I'm interested BACK, you go away. Whatever. Those are games and I'm not interested in a game player.

Now, I do believe we sometimes give men a bad name as well. I was telling Kate last night that I once went out with a guy who was contacting me ALOT through POF and then through phone. He was cute (pics) but I wasn't crazy about him. he on the other hand, seemed to be really into me OVER the phone. We finally met up for a drink. I could tell he wasn't attracted to me or for whatever reason, he wasn't attracted to me and fortunately for me, I wasn't feeling him in that way either.. more like a friend.
The rejection stung a bit because he basiscally disappeared after that meet and greet. Even though I didn't want him, rejection sucks. But eh.. I learned to have thick skin.

Now with my crush, he stopped contacting me as much after us going out. Quickly I was calling him an a-hole etc for not calling me. But when I think rationally about it, he's not required to do so. And if he would drop me for whatever reason, it's his choice. It doesn't make him an a-hole. As long as he doesn't play me for a fool, he's looking for something just like I am and maybe he doesn't find it in me. Sure, it's his loss but doesn't make him a bad guy. So I have to just relax about all this..

You both behaved the same way. Make plans, stick to them. There are not a lot of excuses. I am extremely annoyed when a woman doesn't follow through on plans. He broke dates, you broke dates.

Basically, the OP was not sufficiently interested in the guy. The guy also had issues too. Likely, he would not have been a good fit for the OP.

Relationships are best when the interactions flow free & easily.

I agree... You flaked first and started the game. But also, you said you have only been talking for 3 weeks... Is that a significant amount of time?

I too would be hurt, but give him the benefit if the doubt ... I know when I'm hung over, I just sleep all day and don't want to do anything else. Don't bug him, you'll look desperate.

Absence makes the heart grow founder.

I HATE DATING... That's all.


Blah. I don't know why this happens but seems to happen alot. I don't know why guys do this...

^this^

I once had a guy invite me out again, change his phone network to the same as mine, declare he'd never met anyone like me before. Then, he text me when he was on his way over to pick me up to say he was on his way. Then, he text me 20mins later to say he had a death in the family. Then I never heard from him again!!! Some people are just plain crazy!! :laugh:

I had a similar experience - no death but he had to fly to Washington State because his "brother" had been in an accident. He called to tell me he was leaving (in a panic to make me worry) and then when I sent him a message asking how things were he told me to "stop bothering him!"..........CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

Good luck! That is good news.

It does happen though............one guy I really liked when we met just kept stringing me along. He would email/text all the time, but never commit to a second date. After a few weeks (excuses: I have to work overtime, I have strep throat, it's the holidays) I figured out he was just keeping me a little interested in case he didn't find someone better. I finally stopped responding and I guess he found that someone better cuz he stopped contacting me. Of course now I've met someone way better so it doesn't matter anymore, but cripes, why can't people just be grownups and say "sorry, it's not going to work out between us". It's not that hard to say!