Started therapy today...
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flyawaybyebye
Posts: 250
I had my first appointment with my new therapist today. My first time ever seeing a therapist, really. I liked her. I liked that she didn't tell me I had to immediately eat a bunch more, or throw out my scale, or any of that. I didn't like that she insists I need to gain weight. I think the bigger problem is my (occasional) binging and purging, not my weight. But I liked her. I hope I can make this work.
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I'm glad that you like her, I know how difficult it can be if you have a therapist that you don't get on with. I'm glad that she's not pushing you too hard straight away and I really, really hope that therapy works out for you
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If she insists you neede to gain weight she is not taking the piss or anything. Therapists don't go out of their way to make their jobs more difficult so you can be sure if she is telling you that it's for some very important reasons. Even if you disagree...well, you're the one visiting a therapist for help, I guess that is a reflection of your own self-judgement! It's a problem most of us have, that we tend to take on board what we like and disagree with anything which sits uncomfortably with our ideas (like weight gain). Still it sounds like she is a nice woman and I hope you get along well with her. Well done for taking that step. That's one huge bit of progress right there. Keep us updated how it goes.0
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Thanks ladies. I know I need to gain. I don't like it, and I disagree on an emotional level, but I know and understand it on a logical/intellectual level. My BMI meets the clinical criteria for anorexia at the moment. I know that isn't a good thing (although she was completely right when she said the ED part of me would celebrate the idea that I meet the definition of anorexia, because it's a "success". Crazy, but true.) I don't currently feel the need for my BMI to be in the healthy range, but I know it shouldn't stay this low. Maybe, with her help, I'll eventually want my BMI to be in the healthy range. I can only take it one step at a time, though. And right now, wanting to stop the occasional B&Ping, and wanting to gain anything at all, is progress.
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hey hun
this is such great first step - i promise this will change your life forever - i started this journey a few years back and now i feel i can face each day not thinking about food every second, go into dinners at restaurants where i haven't already planned what i'd eat by reseaching the menu and eating 'accordingly' that day to compensate, and generally feeling happy - letting go of all the silly insecurities that i held... It isn't an overnight thing and occasionally instill get these crazy thoughts, but I'm so much healthier and happier and i know you can get there too! To me i always thing - would i rather be healthy, happy and content with my life, or worried about losing those last 3 pounds in misery.... its an easy decision.
anything you need, PM me - i've been there and i know you can do it!0 -
Thanks all. I hope so! I've been so sick (stomach flu - passed through my entire family. Ugh.) the last two days, that I haven't been able to eat very much, or do much of anything. I'm hoping to try to build my energy back today and actually get my house clean and the laundry finished. But since I haven't been able to do much of anything, I started reading Wintergirls. If I don't have enough energy to clean this afternoon, I will probably wind up finishing it and starting Life Without Ed. I am hoping they'll help keep me motivated in the right direction. 0
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That is great that you like her b/c you have to be able to trust her. She will be telling you things your ed wont like and yu will need that trust. Besides that she wouldnt do all that stuff the first visit you would never go back. Have to work on things slowly and when you are ready to. My one suggestion though is dont lie to her about anything. It only hurts you in the long run and that is part of the illness..secretly doing things.
I commend you because that is a huge step. Hope you feel better!0
