You're interested in someone you've met online...
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scapez
Posts: 2,018 Member
...you've talked, texted, went out on a few dates and you're interested and wish to see them/get to know them more. While you continue to get to know this person you're interested in do you:
A) Continue to see them while still remaining active any dating site(s) you're on or
Either hide your profile or not spend very much time talking with others?
I'm curious to see if there are differences between how guys and girls answer this. Me personally, if I meet someone and I'm interested and things seem to be going in the right direction I will either hide my profile or just won't be online. Reason being is that online dating takes time, and if I'm already fitting the 'interest' into my schedule, I'm not going to bog up the rest of my free time chatting it up with others. Also, if I am truly interested in someone, I kind of lose the desire to get to know others during that time. Note that I won't delete my profile right away - that would come at a point where you progress from 'dating' to a 'relationship'.
I've found in the past the guys tend to like to stay online no matter what - and I personally could never get this. If you're truly interested and dating someone is going well, why the need to keep talking to others?
A) Continue to see them while still remaining active any dating site(s) you're on or
Either hide your profile or not spend very much time talking with others?I'm curious to see if there are differences between how guys and girls answer this. Me personally, if I meet someone and I'm interested and things seem to be going in the right direction I will either hide my profile or just won't be online. Reason being is that online dating takes time, and if I'm already fitting the 'interest' into my schedule, I'm not going to bog up the rest of my free time chatting it up with others. Also, if I am truly interested in someone, I kind of lose the desire to get to know others during that time. Note that I won't delete my profile right away - that would come at a point where you progress from 'dating' to a 'relationship'.
I've found in the past the guys tend to like to stay online no matter what - and I personally could never get this. If you're truly interested and dating someone is going well, why the need to keep talking to others?
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I usually keep my profile active, but spend way less time online, or don't initiate contact with others if I am interested in someone that I have actually met. The two times that I did meet someone I really liked, and "hid" my profile,....both times this was brought up by the guys-they told me their profiles were now hidden, so I then said I would hide mine and I did. With the first guy, it happened after much online chatting and 2 dates........with the second one, it was more like 4 dates.
I, too am curious about the guy point of view on this..........0 -
As I am not on any dating sites, but if that would be the case for me, I would definitely hide my profile or something once I find someone interesting and is starting to go out on dates. I find no reason to talk to others while dating someone.0
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Unless you have mutually agreed to some form of commitment to an exclusive relationship with each other I don`t see the need to hide a profile.
If one wants that then they need to bring it up for discussion.0 -
I do not hide my profile until there is the talk of being exclusive0
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Unless you have mutually agreed to some form of commitment to an exclusive relationship with each other I don`t see the need to hide a profile.
If one wants that then they need to bring it up for discussion.
^^ this, when I was dating I never even hid my profile or stayed off. I would tell them I am meeting new people and having a great time we will see where it goes if it ever came up. I must say the only time I took my profile down with with my hubby, only because he fulfilled every need I ever had and I didn't care about anyone else. That was 6 months after meeting him, two months after chatting online and after him telling me he loves me, so the only time I did take it down was after I fell in love. Before then I just had fun, and gave them as much as they gave me. If they weren't very nice I dropped them and moved on. If they were nice I spent more time with them and just enjoyed flattering them and being flattered back
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I would keep my profile but i wouldn't be on-line so much.
When things are serious, than we should both delete are profiles.0 -
When I was dating people off of POF, particularly one guy whom I saw 4 times, I was still on POF. I just wasn't active. I hid my profile because I wanted to stop dating altogether.
If I had the exclusive talk with someone then I'd def take it down but not until then. I might not multi date but I wouldn't close all other options just because I'm talking to someone new.0 -
Guess this is stuff I need to know since I'm new to online dating too.0
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I totally agree with the OP so I guess I disagree with almost everyone else lol.
I have had 3 dates with someone and it's going VERY well. I chose to hide my online profile after our second date when I realized I really like him and it seems mutual. I don't think it's right for me to have a profile up when I have no intention of meeting anyone else right now. I don't want someone emailing me or winking or whatever, knowing I'm not going to respond. Seems kinda shi!tty.
Just for me..............I don't judge others. I just know I don't have time for dating multiple people and keeping track of which guy I told what story, etc.0 -
I would hide my profile. If I was seeing someone and he was into me as well, I would be a bit pissed if I knew he was trying to talk to/meet other girls. I feel you should see one thing through before going on to the next.0
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I would hide mine too. I cant date more than one person at once. I would expect the same in return too.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I generally hide my profile or i'll delete if i'm not having any luck otherwise.
I personally find it' overwhelming and exhausting to be talking to multiple guys at once, If I found one that I like and think it could go somewhere, then i would rather focus my time and energy solely on them.0 -
Until there is something mutually agreeable between me and the other person, I would not hide my profile until then.0
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I would not hide my profile just because I met a great guy a few times. Why?
1. First, because the guys don't.
2. You don't really know a guy in a few dates. Not REALLY. He *seems* great. But you don't know that he *is* great. And yo could cut off someone who truly *is* great.
3. And finally: Guys seem to have about a 3-4 month window during which they are chemically enthralled with you. They call, text, flatter, send flowers, take you on great dates, etc. Then, all the sudden, the brain chemicals wear off and they realize you are just as real a woman as the last couple they went out with. You're not perfect after all. And most of the time that's when they move on. Someone who's in it for the long haul will continue the relationship.
If I don't have a steady stream of other guys to keep me occupied, I will fall for one before giving him a couple months to get to know him and for the initial infatuation (lust) to wear off and see if he really likes me for *me*
PS: I'd love to hear from MEN whether I'm right or wrong-msg me or post here, I won't be offended0 -
If you're truly interested and dating someone is going well, why the need to keep talking to others?
Exactly. So what does that tell you? If he hasn't made up his mind yet that *you're* the one... why treat him like *he's* the one. I'm not saying don't hang out with him, just guard your heart.0 -
Good point - it's just a difficult thing for me to do personally as I can really only focus on getting to know one person "better" at a time. Regardless of that, next time around I won't be so quick to hide my profile.
Exactly. So what does that tell you? If he hasn't made up his mind yet that *you're* the one... why treat him like *he's* the one. I'm not saying don't hang out with him, just guard your heart.If you're truly interested and dating someone is going well, why the need to keep talking to others?
Also, my new favorite term of the week is chemically enthralled!0 -
I would not hide my profile just because I met a great guy a few times. Why?
1. First, because the guys don't.
2. You don't really know a guy in a few dates. Not REALLY. He *seems* great. But you don't know that he *is* great. And yo could cut off someone who truly *is* great.
3. And finally: Guys seem to have about a 3-4 month window during which they are chemically enthralled with you. They call, text, flatter, send flowers, take you on great dates, etc. Then, all the sudden, the brain chemicals wear off and they realize you are just as real a woman as the last couple they went out with. You're not perfect after all. And most of the time that's when they move on. Someone who's in it for the long haul will continue the relationship.
If I don't have a steady stream of other guys to keep me occupied, I will fall for one before giving him a couple months to get to know him and for the initial infatuation (lust) to wear off and see if he really likes me for *me*
PS: I'd love to hear from MEN whether I'm right or wrong-msg me or post here, I won't be offended
Wow, I completely agree.
Again, baggage reclaim website talks about this all the time. We women are so fast to start perceiving and imagining something, anything into a relationship w/o even truly knowing the guy (not saying any of you do.. just saying what the site says). I know for me, it's true. I can meet a nice fella and imagine being with him in a serious relationship which feeds my fantasy which then might blind me of the truth- he's just another guy that isn't compatible with me or even worse- is an asshat.
It takes time to know someone... a long time, which is why I won't jump to anymore conclusions nor hide my profile after 2-3 dates. I might not be as active but I won't go off the market for a new guy.0 -
Also, my new favorite term of the week is chemically enthralled!
hahaha!
New challenge... see how many convos I can work that into for the rest of the week ;-)0 -
I personally think you should try to get to know him and see where it goes. Im not a fan of juggling women cause you can get to know all of them and plus there really isnt a point to it. Its simple, you are either interested in him or not. All I know is if a man did it then he would be called a player and wouldnt be trusted.0
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I didn't even know I could hide my profile lol...but personally, I can really only handle dating one person at a time, so if I'm at all interested in someone I stay away from the dating sites until I know I don't want to see them again.
Re Wiggins_j's comment - I do not have that same tendency to get attached quickly...If I did, I think I would handle things the same way you do. In fact, since I'm kind of the opposite, I feel like it's only fair to give each person a full-time chance before I decide we're not a match.
(loner with trust issues, MOI????)0
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