Can I break up via text?
sofaking6
Posts: 4,589 Member
So I have gone out on 5 dates with this guy...well let's say two actual dates and a few other times where he met up with me and my friends. I do not want to see him again...he is really pushy and makes me uncomfortable. Do I owe him a phone call?
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I think with this situation, I would just wait until he calls you again, or texts you, and then break the news. But since you've been on so few dates, I don't think you have to call to break up with him. I don't think you can break up with someone if you're not boyfriend/girlfriend. Just don't make any more dates.0
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Have you communicated a lot via text vs phone? If you have been texting fairly regularily I would say yes.. it has only been a few dates.. I have done it.. if it has been a primiary form of communication..0
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Yeah not "break up" per se...more, inform him that there will be no more dates.0
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Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want a text from him saying, I'm not all that into you? Meet him for a coffee, and be honest with him. If nothing else, he'll learn what his behavior does and maybe be a better man for it.
Or he'll cry like a little biotch and beg you not to go (J/K). It is a public place, so you should be fine.0 -
Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want a text from him saying, I'm not all that into you? Meet him for a coffee, and be honest with him. If nothing else, he'll learn what his behavior does and maybe be a better man for it.
Or he'll cry like a little biotch and beg you not to go (J/K). It is a public place, so you should be fine.
^5 LOL0 -
I pretty much JUST went through this....very similar situation. I texted him. I'm not going to set a date with a guy that I barely know just to tell him I'm not seeing him again! That's just silly.0
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Yeah not "break up" per se...more, inform him that there will be no more dates.
I personally wouldn't tell him this - I'd just wait until he asks you out again. Keep turning down dates until he gets the message. I don't see the need to meet up with someone to break off something that hasn't gone anywhere.0 -
Ok, girls. Next time a guy breaks it off via text, don't be posting on here... we had five great dates and he broke up via text. K?0
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I disagree. I think it's a sh!tty thing to do. I think you owe him more than a text. You liked him enough to meet 5 times. it seems cruel. I would wait until he asks you out again and then tell him, on the phone, that you don't think it's going to work out. All you have to say is you just don't feel a connection and leave it at that.
And yes, a guy I went out with 4 times texted me this, after acting in person like he was so interested. It does suck from the dumpees side, more than in person.0 -
I disagree. I think it's a sh!tty thing to do. I think you owe him more than a text. You liked him enough to meet 5 times. it seems cruel. I would wait until he asks you out again and then tell him, on the phone, that you don't think it's going to work out. All you have to say is you just don't feel a connection and leave it at that.
This!0 -
No, phone call is a minimum. Agree with PedmomJill and BlondeLisa.0
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If you're actually "dating" then I think, yeah, you probably need to call (or, like others said, address it next time he calls you to hang out).
But 5 dates, and only 2 of those are real dates? I bet he doesn't even think of you two as "dating," so while a woman would have her feelings hurt ("5 great dates and then he disappeared for no reason") I'd be surprised if he even cares that much. Yes, I'm being stereotypical.
I say do what the guys do to us ladies all the time: just stop contacting him. And when he calls to ask you out, be unavailable. And then, only if he keeps pressing, explain that it's just not going to work.
If you do tell him, my suggestion is don't make excuses or give him a reason to think he might have a chance. Just say you're no longer interested and leave it at that. And then don't waffle when you get lonely and he comes calling again.0 -
I had a similar experience and I did the worst thing - I left him hanging then did it via text. It wasn't pretty... at all.
Basically, don't just leave him waiting and then lead him on by being "unavailable" because that just gives him the impression that you're busy, not that you're no longer willing to see him again. I say a phone call is the way to go! I know it can be awkward for you, but if he makes you uncomfortable then you probably shouldn't be meeting up with him in person, and texting is a little... not personal? I don't know. At the end of the day it comes down to your decision and whatever you feel is the best means of communication between the two of you.0 -
I would call him and just say its not working out. Or wait until he contacts you again to say that.
A guy called me after ONE date and a few calls/texts! I admired him for doing that.
I'd rather know than just wait around hoping you will call/reply to texts/requests. I think thats a horrible way to end things when you realise its not going to work.
Good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
Here's another angle. You've only went out with a guy a handful of times and during the entire time you've known him MOST of the communication was via text.
So why make a call to say when you're not interested when calling is not the normal mode of communication?0 -
I am going through this and I just basically stopped texting him. If he does ask me if I want to go out again I will kindly decline and just tell him I don't think there is a connection.
Was the majority of communication via text? :huh: Times are a changin'... you weren't in a committed relationship with him... you owe him nothing girlfriend.0 -
Just stop taking his calls it's only 5 times hanging out you don't really owe him any explaining in this dating age. But if you choose to explain just say there is no chemistry and you no longer want to see him.0
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Wow. Tough crowd!0
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Wow. Tough crowd!
Haha well I have been on this site long enough to expect honesty from everyone
Right before I left work yesterday he messaged me on Facebook and asked me out for lunch on Friday. I said I had plans already. So he replied asking me out for happy hour last night...this kind of pushiness was exactly what turned me off in the first place (I know this is a weak example but trust me...the boy can't take no for an answer)...so I just replied to him there and said, "I'd rather not see you again..do you want to talk about it on the phone?" and he said no, he figured it was coming. So, we both wished each other well.
Thank you all for the responses...to those who thought a phone call would have been more appropriate, I most sincerely apologize!0 -
Glad it all worked out!0
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I'd rather know than just wait around hoping you will call/reply to texts/requests. I think thats a horrible way to end things when you realise its not going to work.
A guy friend once told me that when a guy stops contacting you, thaa IS his way of saying he's no longer interested. You know he's interested when he keeps calling/texting/emailing/asking you out. If he doesn't respond to you, that's a very clear message (he's not into you, or he's only wanting friendship). It may not be "telling you" directly, but it *IS* communication.0 -
if you have no respect for him then do it0
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