maybe it is just me...
christine24t
Posts: 6,063 Member
but why do people in relationships feel the need to call each other numerous times a day and update each other on the mundane going ons of their life?
i swear my roommate is on the phone every day talking to her boyfriend about everything she did that day and what she is making for dinner! it is just annoying! i don't call my mom or friends and do the same to them - is this just a thing people in relationships do? or is it weird?
i swear my roommate is on the phone every day talking to her boyfriend about everything she did that day and what she is making for dinner! it is just annoying! i don't call my mom or friends and do the same to them - is this just a thing people in relationships do? or is it weird?
0
Replies
-
Well... When I was in a relationship.. I sort of did that... I guess it's a part of just communication.0
-
Well... When I was in a relationship.. I sort of did that... I guess it's a part of just communication.
I agree with the communication part. If it works for them it works. They obiviously want to be a part of each others daily life.0 -
see i love that part of a relationship... it's my way of keeping connected, I suppose.0
-
different strokes for different folks. I personally enjoy communication while I've met others that are content with talking every few days.. the latter just seems weird to me.0
-
lol
I think 90% of people are like that...I guess that's why I'll never get a boyfriend. Because I think both people in the relationship need some independence and their personal lifes and space too. Then, at the end of the day you're missing the other and have lots of stuff to tell him/her...or not, just miss the person you love.
Oh well...I guess it's just me...0 -
Yeah, I'm not one to share the every single moment. Once a day, okay. Share a highlight, then move on.
As I see it, there are three layers of communication:
1) Talk about my life (this is the easiest. I'm eating celery right now).
2) Talk about other people (can be more interesting, but really only if you know the other person).
3) Talk about thoughts and concepts (this is the hardest, but the most important kind).
If I'm dating someone, and all they want to talk about is #1 or #2 regarding people I don't know, I'll likely lose interest in that person fairly quick.0 -
lol
I think 90% of people are like that...I guess that's why I'll never get a boyfriend. Because I think both people in the relationship need some independence and their personal lifes and space too.
Yeah i guess that's my point to this! That you don't have to call everybody every night and update them on everything you did that day, so it's like even if you were apart you're still together because the person knows what you did.0 -
What's also interesting is the number of people who feel the need to be in constant contact while at work. I've heard people talking to their SOs on the phone at work, I know some people send constant emails. Ok, I'd be okish with emails, but not on the phone at work!
I guess it also depends where you are in the relationship, early on too much communication might be almost too needy, where later in the relationship it'd be ok, or maybe too much if you're already living with the person.
I'm also not one for cutsy, no you hang up! type things...0 -
Is it too much though, after a while that would get on your nerves and you couldn't get anything done. Is it because its a new relationship and it dies down later? Does your partner call you or is it you doing the calling and they get to thinking you are too clingy? Is it 90% or are you just guessing? Is this a reason or one of the reasons some are single. Who the hell knows....0
-
Calling numerous times seems excessive to me. I think one 10-15 minute conversation at the end of the day would be sufficient, once a couple is beyond the first few dates, but before they've been together like 6 months.
Technology plays a role in this. Texting is a peeve of me. Incessant texts are unnecessary. I had a woman who wanted to text constantly, and I didn't perceive that well. Receiving attention is a great thing (better than complete silence from the other person), but too much is not good at all.
Couples need a blend of together time and separate time.0 -
I think it totally depends on the stage of the relationship and such....and the type of person you are seeing........for me, my ex husband would call me once a day at work, BUT there were times I would not see him for weeks or months at a time as he was out to sea, so then when he could call, I guess he made up for it?
But, then a bf I had last year was just the opposite,.... we saw each other 2x week ( we lived far apart, so was very planned) and then would basically just talk the night before to firm plans, and then "catch up" when we saw each other.........it worked for us.0 -
I am NOT a phone person. People usually give me a WTF look when I say this, but even in middle/high school when most develop an ardent love for gossiping on the phone, I was too busy watching TV lol. I think since I had also known the people I went to school with since Pre-K, there wasn't much "new" to talk about after a full day of school.
So when it comes to dating, my last dating/phone interactions were back in October and I swear it felt painful trying to stretch out a conversation.
This is an example:
"Huh?"
"Oh, what? I didn't say anything..."
"Oh...um, so...what you doing?"
"Still driving..."
"Oh...where are you now?"0 -
I'm hoping you're not just 'annoyed' by this because you are single and don't have the same thing going on. When I was in a relationship, we communicated often as well, sometimes about nothing.0
-
I couldn't date someone who had to tell me (via phone, text or email) every piece of their day numerous times a day. For one, I work long hours and am extremely busy and can't answer an "i'm eating celery" text.
I like to talk to my guy, but not 100 times a day. Once a day on the phone and maybe a text or e-mail is plenty for me.
I also get into trouble when a SO breaks into a story about that guy who always refuses to change the toner in the copier...I have actually said, I can't even pretend to care about this.
Probably one of the many reasons I'm single.0 -
Hilarious! :laugh: This is so me... I hate the phone.I swear it felt painful trying to stretch out a conversation.
This is an example:
"Huh?"
"Oh, what? I didn't say anything..."
"Oh...um, so...what you doing?"
"Still driving..."
"Oh...where are you now?"0 -
I'm hoping you're not just 'annoyed' by this because you are single and don't have the same thing going on. When I was in a relationship, we communicated often as well, sometimes about nothing.
Its not even that because my other roommate has a boyfriend and they don't do that. It's just the fact of doing it! It's that the conversations go like this:
"Hi, how was your day...oh I woke up, went to school at 10:00, then i went to work at 3:00, blahblahblah happened there, and then i came home and now i'm making spaghetti." It's literally every little thing that happened that day. I just think it's weird!
I don't call my friends or family and talk like this every day and tell them the details of every little mundane thing that happened in my life. I don't even tell them in person. Be honest - who gives a s**t what you ate for breakfast?
I get that you have to communicate. But when does it become excessive?? Does our significant other need to know every detail of our life?
I also get into trouble when a SO breaks into a story about that guy who always refuses to change the toner in the copier...I have actually said, I can't even pretend to care about this.
Probably one of the many reasons I'm single.
Hahahahahaha this is probably one of my things too. A girl I know has a boyfriend just like this. If he calls her sometimes she'll put the phone down on speaker and let him rant, and keep doing what she is doing! I did something like that once to my dad, and he said, "listen i have no idea what you're talking about, sorry." It made me realize that I should share the important stuff!0 -
I love talking and texting. Its not a needy thing, its a communication thing. Sometimes its important news, sometimes its chit chat and sometimes its nonsense! I've even been known to watch tv on the phone with a guy on the other end (distance relationship).
If it happens this way, its because I really click with the guy in personality, and he enjoys the interaction too. We just enjoy each others company in text, on phone, in person. Like I would get a picture of 2 pairs of boots asking which one he should buy!! lol Or something equally banal :laugh: You kinda go through the day missing each other, so you phone/text, even if its about nothing! It's more about hearing the voice and having the contact, than what is actually said.
If it happens that a guy wants more space, then that's fine too.
But, I am attracted to chatty guys so the communication thing happens with guys that I feel totally compatible with and usually fall bang in love with! It's just one of my attractions
As the saying goes, "one man's meat, is another man's poison" If your friends enjoy talking about nonsense then you dont need to understand it, or do it, you just need to accept that THEY enjoy it. They sound very cute together 0 -
oh my goodness! I went out with a guy like that once! drove me crazy! I have stuff to do. I am not interested in a million text messages about meaningless schtuff. I am, however, interested in a good morning/good night and some talk/visit/chat time at some point in the day.
But I know some people who build intimacy from sharing that kind of crazy detail with each other. to each his own.0 -
I think I would like a little of the everyday stuff but not 35 updates throughout the day.
If there is chemisty between us then we will natually find what feels like the right level of communication, and we won't have to worry about...is enough???? is it too much???? It will just happen.0
This discussion has been closed.