Sexual Desire in Relationships
Replies
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I think about 80% of my desire comes from his personality and character, and only about 20% of my desire comes from his physical looks. But I do need both areas, so I want a man that rocks my world!
I had a really dorky best friend for almost 2 years, but I was so madly in love with him that I thought he was the hottest thing ever! Haven't talked to him in 6 months but I still get butterflies when I see his picture or hear his voice. :brokenheart:
I believe men need both, too. But yeah their scale is tipped more toward the looks.
Can only speak for myself but would say that is the case only at first,after that a lady also has to meet and individuals wishes for character and personality.
I have known of women in real life and online that were so distasteful a personality that I couldn`t even stand to look at them regardless of how attractive physically they would be considered.
That also gets into the whole area of what are men and women looking for in a partner but that is an entirely different discussion again.0 -
Like some of you have said sexual attraction begins visually, but second for me is his VOICE. The deeper the voice, the better..there's no doubt why I love to hear Josh Turner and Scotty Mccreery...I often wondered if anyone else ever felt the same about a male voice?
Even if he has those two things going for him but he has no respect for himself or others, especially me, than that will get him nowhere.
And trust me, I've seen a few guys in my time that were hot as hell, but had no clue how to treat a woman...
My heart melts at the sound of a sexy voice...especially if I'm with a long distance friend. The voice is actually a big deal for me.
Good, so I'm not alone in this...0 -
JOSH TURNER - OH YA. Love listening to his voice no matter what he's saying or singing about!0
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I agree with most of the girls here. Sexual desire is based on personality, character, how he treats me AND how he looks. But I have also dated a real unnattractive guy cos he made me laugh constantly! :laugh: As it turned out, he had a lot of mental issues, but I still think of him now with fondness.
I am convinced attraction is based on smell and pheromones too. Chemistry!! Like i can just meet someone and in 2 minutes it just feels right. Although that can change when you get to know someone.
I also agree that you could look like Brad Pitt but if you dont have the personality etc. to back it up, no way would i sleep with you. However, I know that a guy would sleep with a beautiful women, simply because she is beautiful.........however, it may not last long term.
Interesting topic :flowerforyou:0 -
I had a really dorky best friend for almost 2 years, but I was so madly in love with him that I thought he was the hottest thing ever! Haven't talked to him in 6 months but I still get butterflies when I see his picture or hear his voice. :brokenheart:
I know exactly what you mean....0 -
I agree with most of the girls here. Sexual desire is based on personality, character, how he treats me AND how he looks. But I have also dated a real unnattractive guy cos he made me laugh constantly! :laugh: As it turned out, he had a lot of mental issues, but I still think of him now with fondness.
I am convinced attraction is based on smell and pheromones too. Chemistry!! Like i can just meet someone and in 2 minutes it just feels right. Although that can change when you get to know someone.
I also agree that you could look like Brad Pitt but if you dont have the personality etc. to back it up, no way would i sleep with you. However, I know that a guy would sleep with a beautiful women, simply because she is beautiful.........however, it may not last long term.
Interesting topic :flowerforyou:
Oh yes!! We can not forget about the pheromones!! OMG!! Some guys just walk by and I catch a scent and get weak in the knees...0 -
I hear it helps to have a nice back, :laugh:0
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I've observed that for most men the sexual desire comes more from the visual (and a woman who isn't sexually appealing can't make herself so by treating him nicer). OTOH, for most ladies, it seems like sexual desire can be visual, but is more often generated by the way she's treated (so then a guy who, at first glance, may not have been as appealing visually can create in her intense desire by treating her the way she likes).
I once heard, "Men learn to love the women they're attracted to, whereas women become attracted to the men they love." In my experience, both personal and through the lives of my friends, that seems to be true an awful lotta the time.0 -
Which leads to:I once heard, "Men learn to love the women they're attracted to, whereas women become attracted to the men they love." In my experience, both personal and through the lives of my friends, that seems to be true an awful lotta the time.
"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed." (Albert Einstein)0 -
"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed." (Albert Einstein)
So THAT'S my problem! I keep evaluating the guy based on who he is right now...maybe if I would just fool myself into thinking I can change him, I'd finally be able to settle down, lol!0 -
I've observed that for most men the sexual desire comes more from the visual (and a woman who isn't sexually appealing can't make herself so by treating him nicer). OTOH, for most ladies, it seems like sexual desire can be visual, but is more often generated by the way she's treated (so then a guy who, at first glance, may not have been as appealing visually can create in her intense desire by treating her the way she likes).
What do you think?
(I just posted this on the "Breakfast date" thread, and want your opinion too)
(checks pants) speaking as a man. I'm very visual but also smell is a huge factor. In my experience a woman's desire has mostly been emotional or mental. As in, she feels the desire or heat in the moment that drives her. Obvious physical clues show up, but no woman has multiple orgasms from touch alone. It's all mental state0 -
* flamfloz blatantly lies *
So THAT'S my problem! I keep evaluating the guy based on who he is right now...maybe if I would just fool myself into thinking I can change him, I'd finally be able to settle down, lol!"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed." (Albert Einstein)
I'm ready to change for you Wiggins_j... In fact, I can feel I'm already a different person!
Let's go procreate together.0 -
* flamfloz blatantly lies *
I'm ready to change for you Wiggins_j... In fact, I can feel I'm already a different person!
Let's go procreate together.
Lol!0 -
I agree with most of the girls here. Sexual desire is based on personality, character, how he treats me AND how he looks. But I have also dated a real unnattractive guy cos he made me laugh constantly! :laugh: As it turned out, he had a lot of mental issues, but I still think of him now with fondness.
I am convinced attraction is based on smell and pheromones too. Chemistry!! Like i can just meet someone and in 2 minutes it just feels right. Although that can change when you get to know someone.
I also agree that you could look like Brad Pitt but if you dont have the personality etc. to back it up, no way would i sleep with you. However, I know that a guy would sleep with a beautiful women, simply because she is beautiful.........however, it may not last long term.
Interesting topic :flowerforyou:
I was totally thinking the same thing. It's not all looks or personality, pheromones are tricky lil buggers. That's where online dating fails, based on pics and interests still tells me nothing. I have wanted to jump someone I wouldn't look twice at and had guys who were decent looking, great personalities, who adored me but did nothing for me0 -
I guess I must be a lot like a man, then! LOL.
I think that sexual attraction isn't something that can be "learned". I know plenty of guys- who really aren't that physically unattractive- that I'm just not... attracted to. I have a good friend who has the best personality I've ever seen in a man, he's a gentleman, sweet, loves and takes care of his mama and his family, has a good job, etc- everything a woman could ever want. He's tall, athletic, and good looking by most standards. But I just don't find him at all sexually attractive.
I think sexual attraction is a huge part of a successful relationship. If there is no physical attraction, how does the romance stay up? I know some people think I'm shallow for it- but if I do not find myself physically attracted to a guy, then I don't see the reason in pursuing a romance, even if everything else seems "right" (personality, etc.)
It's all about priorities for some people, I suppose. I know women who would prefer security over physical attraction. I'd rather be dirt poor with a guy I'm madly in love with in every way- which includes his physical appearance and sexual attractiveness.0 -
I heard a speech the other day that said men are aroused visually (which is why they love porn) while women are aroused by smell, touch and hearing.
Hmmmm.....
I would say I could be aroused by both...or either. And I am all Girly girl.0 -
I agree with most of the girls here. Sexual desire is based on personality, character, how he treats me AND how he looks. But I have also dated a real unnattractive guy cos he made me laugh constantly! :laugh: As it turned out, he had a lot of mental issues, but I still think of him now with fondness.
I am convinced attraction is based on smell and pheromones too. Chemistry!! Like i can just meet someone and in 2 minutes it just feels right. Although that can change when you get to know someone.
I also agree that you could look like Brad Pitt but if you dont have the personality etc. to back it up, no way would i sleep with you. However, I know that a guy would sleep with a beautiful women, simply because she is beautiful.........however, it may not last long term.
Interesting topic :flowerforyou:
Oh yes!! We can not forget about the pheromones!! OMG!! Some guys just walk by and I catch a scent and get weak in the knees...
LOL! Love that feeling!!!!0 -
Like some of you have said sexual attraction begins visually, but second for me is his VOICE. The deeper the voice, the better..there's no doubt why I love to hear Josh Turner and Scotty Mccreery...I often wondered if anyone else ever felt the same about a male voice?
Even if he has those two things going for him but he has no respect for himself or others, especially me, than that will get him nowhere.
And trust me, I've seen a few guys in my time that were hot as hell, but had no clue how to treat a woman...
My heart melts at the sound of a sexy voice...especially if I'm with a long distance friend. The voice is actually a big deal for me.
Good, so I'm not alone in this...
Ugh... very very attractive. My ex has an incredible deep gravely voice... part of why I avoid him now. Don't want to get sucked back in by the hypnotic voice.0 -
Like some of you have said sexual attraction begins visually, but second for me is his VOICE. The deeper the voice, the better..there's no doubt why I love to hear Josh Turner and Scotty Mccreery...I often wondered if anyone else ever felt the same about a male voice?
Even if he has those two things going for him but he has no respect for himself or others, especially me, than that will get him nowhere.
And trust me, I've seen a few guys in my time that were hot as hell, but had no clue how to treat a woman...
My heart melts at the sound of a sexy voice...especially if I'm with a long distance friend. The voice is actually a big deal for me.
Good, so I'm not alone in this...
Ugh... very very attractive. My ex has an incredible deep gravely voice... part of why I avoid him now. Don't want to get sucked back in by the hypnotic voice.
LOL!!!
Love your avitar!!0 -
I've observed that for most men the sexual desire comes more from the visual (and a woman who isn't sexually appealing can't make herself so by treating him nicer). OTOH, for most ladies, it seems like sexual desire can be visual, but is more often generated by the way she's treated (so then a guy who, at first glance, may not have been as appealing visually can create in her intense desire by treating her the way she likes).
What do you think?
(I just posted this on the "Breakfast date" thread, and want your opinion too)
(checks pants) speaking as a man. I'm very visual but also smell is a huge factor. In my experience a woman's desire has mostly been emotional or mental. As in, she feels the desire or heat in the moment that drives her. Obvious physical clues show up, but no woman has multiple orgasms from touch alone. It's all mental state
You are totally correct!!!
The best I've ever had was with a guy who not only looked good, and smelled good, but also made me feel like the only woman in the world that mattered when I was with him.0 -
I think that sexual attraction isn't something that can be "learned".
I think you're right for the most part... even you feel it or you don't.
But I do have one friend who was upset when he discovered that not only was his Mom not attracted to his dad when they married, but neither was his stepmom. He got mad at her and asked why on earth did you marry him. She said becasue he's a good man and a good friend. The redeeming factor, from his perspective, is that his dad was so good to stepmom that she eventually developed a strong sexual attraction for him, and now they drive my friend crazy. And they're in their 60s. :-)0
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