First Dates
DMZ_1
Posts: 2,889 Member
What do you find to the best first dates?
Does the first date activity matter upon where your interaction first came from. For example, if your first interaction with someone was online vs. meeting in person, does that affect what happens on the first date?
I generally prefer first dates with some activity involved vs. coffee or alcohol drinks somewhere.
I'd be glad to read what others have to say.
Does the first date activity matter upon where your interaction first came from. For example, if your first interaction with someone was online vs. meeting in person, does that affect what happens on the first date?
I generally prefer first dates with some activity involved vs. coffee or alcohol drinks somewhere.
I'd be glad to read what others have to say.
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Replies
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For online dating, I rather do a 1st meet which is simple like having a drink. Then if I'm asked out again, TO ME, that's more a real 1st date.
For non online dating, since I already know the person or at least know we're both interested in each other then I rather do something more creative and fun.
One of the best 1st dates I've been on was playing old arcade games downtown and a game of pool (which I'm not good at) just laughing and talking. It wasn't awkward, there weren't moments of silence because we were busy.
I don't think I'd like to go hiking or kayaking for a 1st date UNLESS I knew the guy pretty well. I take my outdoor activities seriously and I start to sweat! I'd be terribly embarrassed if I wasn't comfortable with him.0 -
I agree that an activity is best. But going for coffee trumps dinner because it's more casual and you can escape faster if necessary.0
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Something active is the way to go. It doesn't have to be surfing or basketball, something simple like frisbee and picnic in the park, or a walk along the waterfront would be great. It's not a bad idea to incorporate some "still time" in there as well.0
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How well you know someone before the first date really does influence what I'd like to do on the first date. Personally, if I don't know them well, maybe a coffee, that way it's not too long if it doesn't work out, you can chat and get to know the other person. If I've known them for a while, then something more would maybe be better. If you don't know the person, how do you know if they like going for walks vs. sitting and chatting.0
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Looks like most people have their hands on the door before they even start. ;-)0
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Looks like most people have their hands on the door before they even start. ;-)
If you go back to the breakfast date thread it would seem that most ladies are looking for a low key meeting with an escape hatch.
Guys something more involved to try to win her over.
I suppose that may be normal as the guy took the risk of asking in the first place (presumed by most ladies responses addressing that issue) so he is more eager to make a go of it from a relationship/sexual desire standpoint.0 -
Looks like most people have their hands on the door before they even start. ;-)
If you go back to the breakfast date thread it would seem that most ladies are looking for a low key meeting with an escape hatch.
Guys something more involved to try to win her over.
I suppose that may be normal as the guy took the risk of asking in the first place (presumed by most ladies responses addressing that issue) so he is more eager to make a go of it from a relationship/sexual desire standpoint.
I find this odd, and opposite of what I would expect. But I am just going by personal (lack of) experience.0 -
Looks like most people have their hands on the door before they even start. ;-)
If you go back to the breakfast date thread it would seem that most ladies are looking for a low key meeting with an escape hatch.
Guys something more involved to try to win her over.
I suppose that may be normal as the guy took the risk of asking in the first place (presumed by most ladies responses addressing that issue) so he is more eager to make a go of it from a relationship/sexual desire standpoint.
I find this odd, and opposite of what I would expect. But I am just going by personal (lack of) experience.
Way too general a statement to make flat out but some truth to the idea that men want a physical relationship and women want safety and security.0 -
Online dating-First date is different from first meeting, and I usually just let the guy lead on which it will be. Some guys will say ....well, I would like to meet, so how about dinner? I have only "met for drinks" one time....all others -even first meetings have not been simple meetings.
The best date was at the beach--it was August, and my family has a beach house, so he liked the idea of meeting there.(No one lives there, but anyone can show up at any time) At first, I was nervouse about wearing a bathing suit for a first meeting, and going in the water--wet hair, little makeup, etc. but it was GREAT. We were actviely doing something the whole time, and the initial nerves wore off fast.......I didn't care about the bathing suit or lack of makeup etc. My friend that I was CRAZY!!!0 -
I think that a first date shouldn't be too busy....
You want to actually get to know the person, right?
If I have agreed to go on a date with someone... I don't think I would be looking for an escape- unless he turns out to be a total weirdo. And then I would just say... we aren't cut out for each other.
I think if you start it slow... drinks or lunch.or dinner..... and then something fun and simple... bowling...Arcade... Carnival...putt putt..?? It seems a lil childishly... young ... but fun!! Maybe a music event?...
something that shows me what the man is like and enjoys...
I am suppose to meet a guy this weekend and he loves Kayaking and Fishing... either of those would be an awesome date! Teach me something... Show me the man you are...
Just My opinion..0 -
Looks like most people have their hands on the door before they even start. ;-)
If you go back to the breakfast date thread it would seem that most ladies are looking for a low key meeting with an escape hatch.
Guys something more involved to try to win her over.
I suppose that may be normal as the guy took the risk of asking in the first place (presumed by most ladies responses addressing that issue) so he is more eager to make a go of it from a relationship/sexual desire standpoint.
I see the reasoning behind why ladies are looking for the quick escape.
I was asking this question to see if I have been missing anything in some my own first date planning, which it looks like I haven't been. I do try to plan around an activity that both of us enjoy. I'm not a big fan of the coffee or alcoholic drinks date. I don't drink coffee (if I go to a coffeehouse, I am drinking some sort of tea, so there's something on the menu of most coffeehouses that I do drink).
I think I probably need to be more evaluative in my first phone conversations, meaning holding them to a higher standard than I currently do. In most of my conversations, I'm asking out at the end. Maybe I should do that less frequently. There have been times where the phone conversation wasn't good enough to warrant a first date. I am looking to reduce the number of "one & done" dates.0 -
I think the reason I was leaning towards "making sure there's an escape hatch" is after reading all those disastrous date threads, where the girl stuck around because they were in the middle of a restaurant or something.
Also, I'd feel really guilty if I felt 0 connection, didn't want a second date and the guy went to tons of trouble and spent tons of $. So, as long as it was casual, I'd be up for more than just coffee, just saying.0 -
I think the reason I was leaning towards "making sure there's an escape hatch" is after reading all those disastrous date threads.
Also, I'd feel really guilty if I felt 0 connection, didn't want a second date and the guy went to tons of trouble and spent tons of $.
What is tons of money? I like to keep my early round dates under a total cost of $30 if possible. I manage to do that the vast majority of the time.0 -
I think the reason I was leaning towards "making sure there's an escape hatch" is after reading all those disastrous date threads.
Also, I'd feel really guilty if I felt 0 connection, didn't want a second date and the guy went to tons of trouble and spent tons of $.
What is tons of money? I like to keep my early round dates under a total cost of $30 if possible. I manage to do that the vast majority of the time.
$30 or less sounds reasonable, especially since there is often only one date. However, I've noticed a few places on the threads where the guys complain how expensive dating in general is. I think the activity or coffee type date not only offers an escape but also won't make use feel bad afterward if there is no spark. Most of us aren't trying to gauge your wallet!0 -
I think the reason I was leaning towards "making sure there's an escape hatch" is after reading all those disastrous date threads.
Also, I'd feel really guilty if I felt 0 connection, didn't want a second date and the guy went to tons of trouble and spent tons of $.
What is tons of money? I like to keep my early round dates under a total cost of $30 if possible. I manage to do that the vast majority of the time.
$30 or less sounds reasonable, especially since there is often only one date. However, I've noticed a few places on the threads where the guys complain how expensive dating in general is. I think the activity or coffee type date not only offers an escape but also won't make use feel bad afterward if there is no spark. Most of us aren't trying to gauge your wallet!
100% Agree! And it also offers escape for both parties, who knows, personality conflict or something else. Works both ways!0 -
Best frist date for me - Coffee or lunch than if both parties are still interested some sort of activity that both people enjoy.
First dates for me NO BARS or CLUBS they are a turn off because you can not talk and get to know each other because it is to loud. It doesn't matter if I met the person online or in person I feel the same about first dates.
I also talk to a person for about a week before making a date because during that week I will ask a lot a questions to even see if I am truely interested in the person vs just attracted to them physically.0 -
Looks like most people have their hands on the door before they even start. ;-)
If you go back to the breakfast date thread it would seem that most ladies are looking for a low key meeting with an escape hatch.
Guys something more involved to try to win her over.
I suppose that may be normal as the guy took the risk of asking in the first place (presumed by most ladies responses addressing that issue) so he is more eager to make a go of it from a relationship/sexual desire standpoint.
I agree with others that it makes a big difference if it's the first time meeting someone (i.e. online match or a blind date) vs someone you have met already and asked out or been asked out by in person. If it's the first meeting, definitely short (and in publich) with an escape hatch. Otherwise, a longer/more involved date. I like dinners, but daytime dates are nice as well with something to do. Someone took me to a cake decorating contest once..it was really entertaining and a fun way to get to know someone while not being totally focused on each other & making conversation.0 -
Best first dates for me are evening dates, with drinks involved, revolving around an activity.
I realise I tend to do long dates even for my first dates, i.e. prepare a real night out that normally last 3-4h+. I dive in!
It's a bit of a gamble but I'm actually comfortable talking to new people for extended periods of time, so it normally is fun.
First dates are similar whether I met the person online or face-to-face for the first time, although normally when I meet someone face-to-face it would be during a night out (pub/club/gig mainly), so I transition into "first date" mode straight away (and spend a solid chunk of time with the girl I just met to evaluate her and then decide if there will be a follow up or not).
Typical date could for example go: food (cheap and fast if any), pub, gig/walk/dj.
The great thing about this schema is that pub gets everyone relaxed (alcohol) and is a great moment to talk (girl gets used to your presence, get to know you, get comfortable with you - alcohol helps here), then you can escalate when the focus is on an external activity (i.e. start becoming more physical with kinesthetics/kino) and see what happens from there.
So drinks and activities, I guess.0 -
Best first dates for me are evening dates, with drinks involved, revolving around an activity.
I realise I tend to do long dates even for my first dates, i.e. prepare a real night out that normally last 3-4h+. I dive in!
It's a bit of a gamble but I'm actually comfortable talking to new people for extended periods of time, so it normally is fun.
First dates are similar whether I met the person online or face-to-face for the first time, although normally when I meet someone face-to-face it would be during a night out (pub/club/gig mainly), so I transition into "first date" mode straight away (and spend a solid chunk of time with the girl I just met to evaluate her and then decide if there will be a follow up or not).
Typical date could for example go: food (cheap and fast if any), pub, gig/walk/dj.
The great thing about this schema is that pub gets everyone relaxed (alcohol) and is a great moment to talk (girl gets used to your presence, get to know you, get comfortable with you - alcohol helps here), then you can escalate when the focus is on an external activity (i.e. start becoming more physical with kinesthetics/kino) and see what happens from there.
So drinks and activities, I guess.
Drinks are good for me too. But I can get 'too' comfortable with drinks haha. But yes, all of my dates have included alcohol. :blushing:
Also, I wouldn't do day 1st dates. Sometime about it being dark and dim that makes it more romantic.0 -
So true. I didn't mention it, but it was implied in my mind. The setting, I normally go to a darker pub (I know a few), with small corners, sofas, candle lights, etc rather than a fully lit one where you would go with a bunch of friends to be loud.Drinks are good for me too. But I can get 'too' comfortable with drinks haha. But yes, all of my dates have included alcohol. :blushing:
Also, I wouldn't do day 1st dates. Sometime about it being dark and dim that makes it more romantic.
And for gigs as well, I'm not going to a massive Madonna concert but rather to a small pub thing where you can sit somewhere and snuggle. :laugh:
And it's nice to relieve the pressure from the other person, and enjoy your time for the event not just doing the "interrogatory" thing!0 -
Been a while since I've been on a first date hahaha
Activity would be better...no dinner, no movie
Definitely something casual and even a group setting would be cool0 -
My favorite first date was lunch at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant. Me and the guy really hit it off, stayed longer than I had anticipated, and ended up being late for a meeting. We left with plans for our next date (a Saturday). What I liked about it was that it was low-key so I had no stress over "kiss or don't kiss" or whether he'd think I'm not interested if I don't invite him in. Also, I didn't have to constantly repeat "No, I don't want a drink!" and while there were other people around, it wasn't too loud, so we were able to just talk and get to know each other.
My second favorite first date was a football game. I like sporting events since they give you something to watch with breaks to talk. If things get awkward, you can just concentrate on the game.0 -
a small pub thing where you can sit somewhere and snuggle. :laugh:
Wow, on a first date? I'm pretty affectionate, but I'd have a hard time snuggling with someone I just met an hour ago.0 -
my first date would be PI!!!!! Pi is a roof top bar/ restaurant where i live that plays house music on friday nights.
i want a guy to take me to pi and dance real close with me under the stars... while listening to house of course. untz untz untz.
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I prefer activity of some sort, mini golf, bowling, something like that. I find that the guys usually suggest dinner :yawn: , which is okay I guess. I'm pretty quiet when getting to know someone though and some kind of activity brings out my more natural side, which is fun and playful, while at dinner I'm just quiet and nervous :noway:0
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My friends and I were talking and we think lazer tag/bowling would be an awesome first date since it is interactive! Plus you can make fun of all the kids playing!0
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For online dating, I rather do a 1st meet which is simple like having a drink. Then if I'm asked out again, TO ME, that's more a real 1st date.
This.
For being set up, I have had some awesome dates.
The first time I was set up, we chatted on the phone and then met up to walk the dogs...turned into a lunch, then to a friends house....and yea, it was a 24 hour date. I loved every minute of it.
The second time, we went to a Christmas light show, then pie and coffee later. Made talking hard to do, but we survived and I saw something that I hadn't before. And even though the guy was a total bore? Saw him 3 more times.
Honestly, thinking outside the box is always welcomed so long as we are somewhat assured you aren't a serial killer. AKA the above if you have not been referenced by friends.0 -
I'd like something low key where we could talk. At the moment I have a few 1st dates in mind:
1. tea tasting (plenty of time to talk, and an extra topic to fill in the gaps)
2. coffee service (someone is about to open a place with ethiopian coffee service near my house, but there is another coffee shop in the area that does have a super special Japanese siphon to make coffee, it looks like a science project, so I think it would be an awesome first date activity.)
3. a "dish crawl" basically a pre-organized food crawl, like a pub crawl with more food and less drinking
***OK OK, I seem to have a food experience theme going on
If I didn't have such a low tolerance, I would recommend tequila tasting, whisky tasting or wine tasting...but I need to save that for a few more dates in.
I definitely believe in a first date with a built in expiration time, in case it is terrible.
But if it is someone I know more, or is an acquaintance (or if we have already had a few good conversations. Either multiple or the first meeting was a 20 minute chat), then dinner, mini golf, go karts and museums are all fair game.0 -
3. a "dish crawl"
That sounds bomb! If someone took me on that kind of date I would marry them!0 -
Ok, so I have a question related to first dates...assuming you meet in a public place (restaurant, bar, coffee shop, etc.) do you like to go somewhere that is:
A. a favorite place you go all the time
B. a place you would only go on a first date (in other words you have a 'usual' spot you suggest for a first meeting)
C. someplace you've never been before
I have to admit, I would NOT want option A. If the date is crap, why would you want the memory of the person someplace you really like? And for security purposes, I also wouldn't want someone to know a place I might visit regularly. Maybe I'm being too rigid in my thinking though so I want to hear your thoughts.0
This discussion has been closed.