Hey Zilla, I am running in to the same issues with both of my kids. My son will be a freshman and has finished hockey this season and has started conditioning/lifting for football - that is one type of diet. My picky daughter - well that is another story. Then there is me.
My goal is to try to bring us all together on at least a main dish or meat and throw in a couple of sides for each of them that they like or fit in to their needs as well. Fortunately, my kids love anything grilled, lots of vegetables and most all fruits. We mix it up and each kid picks a dinner at least one night a week and we adapt it to all our needs. We have picnic dinner night where we lay out a table cloth and all eat on the living room floor together. Both kids love to cook, we have the griller and the prep girl. We even attempt to grow some veggies each summer. We gather fresh in season fruits and veggies and freeze them for the winter. Hopefully, having the kids participate in their food they will be more aware of what they are putting in their body but kids will be kids and sometimes Pizza rules!

I know I feed my son more "junky" than me...especially if I don't have time to cook and my meal is a quickly grabbed protein drink and some fruit. I've started giving him a protein shake for breakfast if we're running late (probalby not the healthiest but he loves it!). Or, if I've cooked something meat-less and I feel like he needs more fat and calories for the day then I'll make him an extra sandwich or some kosher all beef hot dogs (which are still bad, but it just "sounds" better, lol).

But I'm not cooking separately for him, just adding on something I know he WILL eat and will provide him enough calories. I try to make sure each meal actually has something healthy that he does like. My rule for him is he has to eat what I give him or he can't have more food (if your stomach is too full for broccoli, then it's also too full for a fruit snack dessert).

It can be very hard, frustrating, and tempting! I am mostly just cooking a meat and veggies. I sometimes make them a starch but I will not eat it or I'll pick it out or serve myself before putting in the starch. I am trying for my weight and 1 of mine who would do better gluten free to cut out the starchy carbs. They haven't missed it for the most part but today I made sausage and stewed apples for breakfast. They are hungry before lunch. They would have filled up better if I made biscuits too. I ran out of sausage so I had to eat something different. If I can't eat what they are eating, I have leftovers frozen or simple foods like fat-free Ricotta cheese, a salad with a little meat, etc.

GROWING YOUR GARDEN! THAT'S AWESOME! that idea!

My three are 10, 12 and 13 (girl, boy, girl) and all are under weight. The littlest one often doesn't make the growth chart an her annual physical.

We spend a good deal of time (often at the dinner table) talking about why the foods we eat are healthy and how some other "less healthy" foods are OK sometimes, just not everyday. We also talk about why kids need some foods that are different from adults. For example, 0% milk for me and 2% for them. I find that the more they know, the more willing they are to make wise choices.

As far as meals, I sometimes add something to the meal that I want them to have to boost calories, etc. We also eat a lot of salad so that I can eat smaller portions of other things and fill up on that.

Finally, I have an "eat it or starve" mantra. Eventually, they will eat what you make if they are not allowed to snack after dinner when they have chosen not to eat much or anything.

Good luck!

I used to just cook dinner for my daughter and then eat her left overs hunched over the sink while answering email on my BB and sucking down a glass of wine.

Now I make a meat, a veggie and whatever starch she wants. On the nights where I make her a dinner she wants, I just eat a meat or vegetable I prepped earlier in the week.

I don't really have a problem. He's 15 and is a better cook than I am so he makes alot of the meals and doesn't mind eating healthy.

He figures he can be bad at lunchtime since he works in the cafeteria then and gets free food *lol*