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kerriBB37
kerriBB37 Posts: 967 Member
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I was just curious if anyone is doing a non-church wedding? If so, who are you using to perform the ceremony?
My fiance and I are actually both catholic (my second wedding, his first) but we've found it difficult to go the traditional catholic route. We are getting married in an area where neither of our churches are. My church won't perform the service - bleh. His is over an hour away. Anyways, the place we are having the ceremony is nondenominational and stated we have to bring our own officiant (?sp)..
I have googled and found some "rent a priests" which is just weird to me.
A few months ago my grandfather passed away and a younger guy named Ryan performed the ceremony, he is the minister at a local baptist church. I felt very drawn to him and he was really an amazing person. I actually thought he was a second cousin I had never met because of the way he spoke about our family and my grandpa. I thought about asking him what his beliefs were on performing ceremonies. OH also I wanted to add that my fiance brought up Ryan the other day.. "remember the guy from your grandpa's funeral? he was awesome"...

Anyone have any good advice on this? I don't want to step on any toes and I want someone whom I trust and respect to perform the ceremony.

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  • heidiberr
    heidiberr Posts: 643 Member
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    I am having a friend of mine and my fiance's marry us--he's ordained. You can get ordained online for relatively cheap.
  • TNTwedell
    TNTwedell Posts: 277 Member
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    I love Ryan already - and from what you've said, it sounds like he is a really cool guy and would most likely not make the ceremony too "preachy"? I've noticed that the "good" pastors/ministers/preachers/etc are more focused on delivery the message of God; rather then getting their SPECIFIC message across (meaning, different lines of beliefs)
    You should call him and ask - if you like him & both of you feel comfortable... thats all that matters!!!

    We have gone thru something similar; but kinda backwards - we're getting married at the church my parents were married at (and I was baptized, etc etc) but none of us attend that church anymore. I really really wanted that location; but the pastor there is not someone I really "like". However, we have to have her perform the service - they wont let "outside" pastors perform the service. Which really upset me because I love my own pastor and was so sad that he couldnt be apart of our day.
    As much as I dont like her - this rule actually worked in our favor (Steve's dad is also a pastor and wanted to perform the ceremony - I was emphatic that that WOULD.NOT.HAPPEN) (long story- but NO).
    So - to sum up.... the location was more important to me then who is actually marrying us.
    As long as God is in the mix - the message will be the same - and Im ok with having someone random.
  • starrstarr007
    starrstarr007 Posts: 48
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    I am not religious while my fiance is a bit. For me a church wedding was not in the cards, I am getting married in Scotland so the rules are a bit different you can have a church wedding with that church's priest, you can have a "spiritual" wedding performed by a humanist (any location) or you can have a non-religious wedding (any location) performed by a registrar (which is sort of like a judge). We are having a registrar, but because I was really not excited about someone I meet the day before marrying us, I bartered with them to let my brother speak at the wedding (I had wanted him to marry us). They will allow him to speak, welcome everyone and do the personal bit. The only rule is no religious mention at all (not even the music). It is all a bit weird, but we wanted to get married in Scotland and this is really our only option. I think the key is to prioritize the things most important to you, and them try to satisfy them in that order. If this Ryan fellow sounds as great as you have made him sound, maybe he would be willing to work with you on the ceremony. Good luck - it is hard to have to sacrifice anything you want, but work from the top down so at least you get the things you want the most!
  • tabatha_burris
    tabatha_burris Posts: 167
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    I got lucky! My brother is a pastor and he is going to marry us!! The only bad part is he is still making us do the couseling and I am a little werided out about doing it with my brother but whatever. It was eather my brother or my fiance grandpa who married my fiances twin brother last year and kept saying his now wifes name wrong!!!! So there was no way he was doing ours!! You should atleast call the Ryan guy and see if he will do it if he says no you know you have to move on if he says yes then awesome!! Talk so stuff out and if he is what yall want you have you guy!!
  • GMPetti82
    GMPetti82 Posts: 43 Member
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    We have a friend of our family marrying us. However, sites like wedding wire and the knot often have ads for officiants in your area. If you don't have someone that is close to you that can marry you, you can always go that route. Or usually the mayor of wherever you get married can do it as well.
  • jap6955
    jap6955 Posts: 12
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    I went on wedding wire and found a judge. He got great reviews and is very nice. We are getting married over looking a golf course.

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