Feel free to ignore this... I am just venting...
p0pr0cksnc0ke
Posts: 1,283 Member
I have depression and bipolar.
I have been on Pristiq (a SNRI) for a year (off for 9 months while pregnant) and then back on since 1/11. I can tell the difference when I don't take it. Imagine a dark room where you are alone with your thoughts.. and then... the curtain opens and its beautiful sun shining in the window.
I could get out of bed in the morning.. I could manage to make myself shower, dress.. and FUNCTION. I love it. I have 0 issues with it.
Come around 8/2011 I notice I am just ANGRY. All THE time. Anger. And when I am not angry, and pissed off at everything, I am crying. I am yelling at my poor child, my poor husband, I am frustrated with a teething baby. I am not me. At all. I talk to my doctor.... he gives me Seroquel to bring me down and stabilize the moods. Oh.. it did. It knocked me out when I took it at night... and it made me pretty much go through the motions of life. No anger, no yelling... but no laughter, no smiles. Just.. there.
Then... I started binge eating in October. I couldn't stop... I couldnt control it. I HAD to.
Come 1/2012 I had enough.. I stopped the medication (seroquel) I continued on the Pristiq and I was given Klonopin for really anxious days.
I had energy again! I could control my eating again! I lost 8lbs so easily by just simply watching what I was eating again. YAY!
[imghttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ec/Happy_smiley_face.png[/img]
NOW... What I wasn't ready for.. is the bipolar relapse. I am every emotion. I am stressed, I am anxious.. My husband laughed at me when I found this picture, but it is me perfectly:
I feel TRAPPED in my brain. I can't make it stop. It is the most frustrating thing EVER!!! I want to die, I want to run away.. I want to just scream and have all those monsters in my brain leave me ALONE!
Ugh... again.. sorry about the vent. I am just TIRED of my brain being CRAZY!!!!!!!! (and (yes if anyone does ask) I am going to talk to my doctor and see if there is something I can do to get out of this funk... this is worse than when I was on the Seroquel and gaining 3lbs a week!)
I have been on Pristiq (a SNRI) for a year (off for 9 months while pregnant) and then back on since 1/11. I can tell the difference when I don't take it. Imagine a dark room where you are alone with your thoughts.. and then... the curtain opens and its beautiful sun shining in the window.
I could get out of bed in the morning.. I could manage to make myself shower, dress.. and FUNCTION. I love it. I have 0 issues with it.
Come around 8/2011 I notice I am just ANGRY. All THE time. Anger. And when I am not angry, and pissed off at everything, I am crying. I am yelling at my poor child, my poor husband, I am frustrated with a teething baby. I am not me. At all. I talk to my doctor.... he gives me Seroquel to bring me down and stabilize the moods. Oh.. it did. It knocked me out when I took it at night... and it made me pretty much go through the motions of life. No anger, no yelling... but no laughter, no smiles. Just.. there.
Then... I started binge eating in October. I couldn't stop... I couldnt control it. I HAD to.
Come 1/2012 I had enough.. I stopped the medication (seroquel) I continued on the Pristiq and I was given Klonopin for really anxious days.
I had energy again! I could control my eating again! I lost 8lbs so easily by just simply watching what I was eating again. YAY!
[imghttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ec/Happy_smiley_face.png[/img]
NOW... What I wasn't ready for.. is the bipolar relapse. I am every emotion. I am stressed, I am anxious.. My husband laughed at me when I found this picture, but it is me perfectly:
I feel TRAPPED in my brain. I can't make it stop. It is the most frustrating thing EVER!!! I want to die, I want to run away.. I want to just scream and have all those monsters in my brain leave me ALONE!
Ugh... again.. sorry about the vent. I am just TIRED of my brain being CRAZY!!!!!!!! (and (yes if anyone does ask) I am going to talk to my doctor and see if there is something I can do to get out of this funk... this is worse than when I was on the Seroquel and gaining 3lbs a week!)
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Replies
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((hugs))
Hang in there...it's a ****ty feeling when you don't even realize where the day went. (that's how I get when it goes on the downhill)0 -
Oh my goodness-this is me too! (((HUGS))) It is an absolute nightmare trying to get these meds right. Then they tease you-you think you are getting better and coming out of it and then WHAM, you're knocked back down again. Makes it very hard to be optimistic in the ****storm that goes on in your own mind. I find it very isolating, like nobody around me REALLY knows what I'm going through and it makes it worse. I'm still trying to get straightened out
Feel free to pm me if you'd like to talk. It's very hard to talk to people who don't get it. I always try with my Mom but I end up feeling stupid. I gained a ton of weight on celexa and pristique and seroquel very quickly ( about 60 lbs), from being starving and eating to dull the pain temporarily. I had a lot of anger issues too, which was horrible, I felt like a terrible mother because I had NO patience with my 2 year old, and that's a tough age for anyone to handle. After my daughter was born, it was like a switch went off and my normal loving happy optimistic proud mommy self with dreams of the future were burned to the ground. I too have wanted to scream, run as fast as I could to anywhere, get on a plane to paradise and not tell anyone, drive my car into a pole to make it all end. And to have to walk around all day and pretend like I'm feeling fine and not screaming inside is exhausting. Hope sharing this helps you 
You are not alone in this. 0
![http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ec/Happy_smiley_face.png[/img]](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/home/leaving?allowTrusted=1&target=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fe%2Fec%2FHappy_smiley_face.png%5B%2Fimg%5D){kind=link}
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