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Feeling less attractive to your husband?

94coco2010
94coco2010 Posts: 9 Member
in Social Groups
I know that he loves me no matter what.....but I feel like I'm letting my husband down by being overweight (isn't that RIDICULOUS!?!?). When we got married I was 2 dress sizes smaller and about 25 pounds lighter. I know that's not a huge increase - but it's big enough for me to feel really unattractive! I don't know about you ladies, but I could use a bit of prayer today regarding this! :s

Replies

  • editnonnalynn
    editnonnalynn Posts: 495 Member
    Praying...and understanding. Check out the Satan Lies post on the Christians Unite group! Youre here to lose the weight and feel and look better....but there is soooo much more to you that that. You are precious in the sight of the Lord, and He will get your focus, your priorities, and your dress size under control. Give it all to Him and turn your eyes upward! Grace to you and Peace from God!
  • Ksumare
    Ksumare Posts: 63 Member
    I too struggle with the horrible battle of low self esteem and I know how hard it is to imagine that your husband could love something (your weight) that you hate so much. But I am sure that he does. We need to love ourselves more, and know that we were made in God's image. We are beautiful no matter what our outside looks like. I am sure that your husband sees and delights in your inner beauty, and wants you to be healthy and confident on the outside. Maybe you should share your concern with your hubby, he will probably know just what to say to reassure you. Praying that you and me see our image as God sees it. Encouraging you to keep changing the outside, one day at a time! Love you.
  • editnonnalynn
    editnonnalynn Posts: 495 Member
    I read somewhere (probably on MFP) that the body is not YOU, you just live in it for now, LIKE A HOUSE. The house can be shabby or spruced, but it is not YOU! I knew this, but liked that it was so simply put!
  • vegagirl2012
    vegagirl2012 Posts: 34
    I've been feeling the same way & even told my husband about this. He tells me that he loves me & that I'm beautiful but no matter how many times he may tell me, I just don't feel it. I know its a mental thing that I have to get over & I just pray that God continues working with me & others who feel the same. We can overcome this!!!
  • 94coco2010
    94coco2010 Posts: 9 Member
    Thanks a lot for the prayers and encouragement ladies!! I told my husband how I've been feeling and he assured me that he doesn't find me unattractive - so that's good! I've just gotta Let Go Let God when it comes to this weight loss thing!!
  • tararaem
    tararaem Posts: 6 Member
    That is horrible that you are having those feelings, but I think most people have felt that way as well. I try to remind myself that when my husband gains (or loses) weight it doesn't make me look at him ANY differently, so the pressure that I put on myself is completely unwarranted. Isn't it interesting how we, as women, put this undue stress on ourselves when men don't seem to have that same pressure/worry?
  • Summerlove1993
    Summerlove1993 Posts: 102 Member
    I felt that way years ago, but somewhere during our 18+ years of marriage, I got over it. (He's no prize either). We were both thinner, and he used to have a full head of hair. What binds us together is all of the crap we survived as a team during our marriage. We stuck together through a lot of challenges that would have broken up weaker marriages. He was with me through my infertility, hormone shots that he had to give me, high risk pregnancy, emergency C-section (the poor guy prayed with our pastor on the phone while he had to wait outside the operating room not knowing if we were going to survive), serious money problems, extended family drama, health problems, job stresses, graduate school, parenting, etc...We are sooooo past worrying about how we look. We love each other, warts and all. We need each other. We are better together than apart.

    Now, that said...
    Because he loves me and still wants me, I would like to reward his loyalty by giving him a healthier, and thinner wife. It would be nice to live longer by adopting a healthier lifestyle. In other words, I'm not losing weight to keep my husband, I'm losing weight because my husband has stood by me no matter what for all these years.

    16215868.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter



    :wink:
  • sdershaw
    sdershaw Posts: 3 Member
    I often feel this way, but in a little different way. I know my husband is happy with me just the way I am...but I'm not! And by not being happy with myself, I don't feel attractive and therefore don't feel in the "mood" as often. I love your viewpoint Summerlove that you want to reward him with a thinner and healthier you....me too! It's tough to feel good about yourself when you are struggling with your weight. But we are all headed in the right direction! :)
  • jessicar03
    jessicar03 Posts: 12
    I totally hear you on this. My husband is wonderful and loves me and is attracted to me, but I think my weight affects our relationship because I FEEL less attractive, so I distance myself from him. Really trying to pray about this as I try to adopt a healthier lifestyle!

    (By they way - HI! I'm Jessica. I'm brand new. We currently live in Chicago but are moving to Nashville in a few weeks. Love to see some other Christian ladies on here! :))
  • Summerlove1993
    Summerlove1993 Posts: 102 Member
    Nashville is an exciting place. We attended a wedding there several years ago, and we enjoyed touring Nashville while we were down there. (And, that's in spite of the fact that I'm not exactly fond of country music!) We loved the barbecue down there. It was much different from what we're used to in the NYC area, but it was delicious!

    I hope your move goes smoothly.
  • jessicar03
    jessicar03 Posts: 12
    Thanks Summer! We are a little bit afraid of moving but we are also really excited to explore a new city. Everyone I've talked to who has visited Nashville loves it, so I think we are in for a good transition. Thank you!
  • Karenlaw30
    Karenlaw30 Posts: 15
    Ladies let me tell you what a trun on for any man a women that loves her self you can see it in HER walk,smile,HER SEXUALITY if you don't love you it hard convincing yourself somebody else does:smooched: SELF CONFIDENCE
  • loope1
    loope1 Posts: 14
    I know that he loves me no matter what.....but I feel like I'm letting my husband down by being overweight (isn't that RIDICULOUS!?!?). When we got married I was 2 dress sizes smaller and about 25 pounds lighter. I know that's not a huge increase - but it's big enough for me to feel really unattractive! I don't know about you ladies, but I could use a bit of prayer today regarding this! :s

    I don't think it is ridiculous at all. We do tend to be hard on ourselves, but there is also a lot of pressure for women today. Sending up prayers for you!
    I felt that way years ago, but somewhere during our 18+ years of marriage, I got over it. (He's no prize either). We were both thinner, and he used to have a full head of hair. What binds us together is all of the crap we survived as a team during our marriage. We stuck together through a lot of challenges that would have broken up weaker marriages. He was with me through my infertility, hormone shots that he had to give me, high risk pregnancy, emergency C-section (the poor guy prayed with our pastor on the phone while he had to wait outside the operating room not knowing if we were going to survive), serious money problems, extended family drama, health problems, job stresses, graduate school, parenting, etc...We are sooooo past worrying about how we look. We love each other, warts and all. We need each other. We are better together than apart.

    Now, that said...
    Because he loves me and still wants me, I would like to reward his loyalty by giving him a healthier, and thinner wife. It would be nice to live longer by adopting a healthier lifestyle. In other words, I'm not losing weight to keep my husband, I'm losing weight because my husband has stood by me no matter what for all these years.

    16215868.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter



    :wink:

    I can relate to this in a lot of ways. We have been together for nearly 20 years and have weathered the storms together and I too long to be a beautiful wife for him. Interestingly, I am facing something I never thought I would... I am also concerned about how I am going to look with the weight off. I lost 10 years to chronic illness/lyme disease and feel like Rip Van Winkle... I lost my 30's. It is difficult enough to look in the mirror and find myself 10 years older. ( I was completely healed in 2010 and am now trying to pursue fitness. All praise, glory and honor to our Awesome God!!) Anyway, I can see the wrinkles ready to form and know that as I lose weight, the fat filling out my face will give way to the wrinkles... I feel vain and unthankful thinking these thoughts, but I do nonetheless. Middle age is harder than I thought it would be!

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