"When Food Is Love" - Geneen Roth

I read them for help. I want to read other people's stories about their ED. I want to hear how it started. I want to hear their highs and lows. I want to relate to them. Finding other people who struggle with the same type of behavior is somewhat relieving because it helps me to stop blaming myself. I want to know how other people figure out how to overcome their ED behavior. I want to continue to learn everything there is to know about ED because I truly believe knowledge is power.

Wasted.

I showed it to my therapist a couple years ago and even though I hadn't finished it, I let her read it.

She Wouldn't Give It Back! She thought it would be too triggering...lol

the reason I like "Life with Ed" so much is because the author is very careful not to put in triggering information such as her weight, her caloric intake, etc. She talks about the psychological side of it and the thoughts that run in and out of our minds while suffering with an eating disorder. I highly recommend it to anyone on this board.

In the current book I’m reading called, “Life Without Ed” - written by Jenni Schaefer with Thom Rutledge, the author uses Ed as an acronym for Eating Disorder.

She writes:

“Although I see Thom for “individual” therapy, there is a whole group of us in his office for each of my sessions. In fact, every place to sit in his office is occupied. Ed is sprawled out on the couch, while Thom and I sit in two cushioned chairs. And in the straight-back wooden chair sits Ms. Perfectionist, with perfect posture.

You see, Ed has many colleagues. Thom refers to one as the Should Monster, who tells me everything I should or should not have done in my life. I frequently hear the Timekeeper, who keeps a close eye on how I spend every minute of my day – making sure that each moment is spent productively. And I hear Ms. Perfectionist compromising to stay in line with the Timekeeper, promising she will make me perfect.”



These paragraphs have Diane written all over them! I’ve known about Ed, Ms. Perfectionist and the Should Monster for quite some time now, but this was the first time I was formerly introduced to the Timekeeper. To know that I am not the only one driven by the Timekeeper is pleasantly comforting.

When I began seeing my behavior therapist again in January this year, my obsession with time was the main behavior trait I wanted to discuss. It really helped to talk about it. It helped to have someone play devil’s advocate and force me to answer why I feel the way I do about time. At first I didn’t have any answers. Another helpful tidbit is to put myself in someone else’s shoes and try to guess how they would be feeling about the same time sensitive situation. For a little over a month I tried different exercises to bring me away from my comfort zone with time, and although uncomfortable, I know it made a difference.

Ever since my mom’s stroke at the end of February I have been forced to have a better relationship with the Timekeeper. Ms. Perfectionist needs me to be the perfect daughter, but the Timekeeper doesn’t understand that spending time with a loved one in need is a valid way to spend time. They still butt heads, but the compromising is getting better.

I have started reading a book about recovering from an ED, it's called "Desperately Seeking Self" , it's written by Viola Fodor, a therapist who is also recovered from a 15 yr ED experience of her own.

She gives an analogy of an iceberg , that an Ed is a lot like an iceberg. All we see are the symptoms of the ED above the water, things like problems with food, disordered eating, distorted body image, but that's really only 1/3 of the issue. And that what is under water is what has to be dealt with in order to get well. Things like, perfectionism, low self-esteem, poor coping strategies, believing social myths about what we should be. Then there are the larger life issues we are all trying to grasp, the meaning of / for our life, our purpose for being, and our relationship with the world.

I encourage any of you to get the book and read it, it's not a "how to" manual , it's a book that I believe will help us in our journeys of knowing our deeper selves and give us the strength to heal ourselves and move on with our lives.

I read them for help. I want to read other people's stories about their ED. I want to hear how it started. I want to hear their highs and lows. I want to relate to them. Finding other people who struggle with the same type of behavior is somewhat relieving because it helps me to stop blaming myself. I want to know how other people figure out how to overcome their ED behavior. I want to continue to learn everything there is to know about ED because I truly believe knowledge is power.

exactly.

P.s. Thanks for the book reccomendations, I haven't read most of the books mentioned so I will have to check some out.

I will only read stuff that is recovery oriented at this point so my current favourite (just re-read it yesterday) is "Brave Girl Eating" by Harriet Brown. I love Unbearable Lightness too.

Wasted... it's the ED bible.... and Life-Size and Wintergirls.

The Best Little Girl in the World and Kessa both by Steven Levenkron

I LOVE this man. His book on cutting was also extremely healing to me.