How do you get over the impossible crush?
Moe4572
Posts: 1,428 Member
I think the crush is an impossible one...besides the age difference.....which I guess is not such a big deal after all...we work together and I don't think he wants more than frienship.....but I still have him running through my mind way too much.
It's not like I can't move on....I am taking to a couple of guys and we have started to bring up meeting, but still I want the crush out of my head!!!!
It's not like I can't move on....I am taking to a couple of guys and we have started to bring up meeting, but still I want the crush out of my head!!!!
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Replies
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Time....time fixes everything. Once you hit if off with one of the new guys, you won't even think about the crush.0
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the big O (wtf am i doing wasting my time on the crush).0
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I have more than a crush on my FL and I'm trying to figure it out too... I assume once he moves and I don't see him I'll get over it. Somehow.0
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Partly time and partly finding something new. I liked this same guy since freshman year...and just recently I finally got over it. It just takes him. Also helps to find a new crush.
Don't get me wrong. When I see the guy, my heart still skips a beat. But I don't obsess over him the same way I did before.0 -
Time is a good fixer of the crush along with a new crush lol0
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This. Find something new to do, go out, meet new people, meet someone different on which you crush and do it again and again till it becomes more than a crush...Partly time and partly finding something new. I liked this same guy since freshman year...and just recently I finally got over it. It just takes him. Also helps to find a new crush.
Don't get me wrong. When I see the guy, my heart still skips a beat. But I don't obsess over him the same way I did before.0 -
..we work together and I don't think he wants more than frienship....
how do you know this for sure? :bigsmile: Have you asked? Or hinted? Or put yourself in a situation where you might test it?
Just as much as you are thinking 'how do I get over this crush', he might be thinking the same thing! I seriously think that a crush vibe is mutual! There may not be the same desire for execution, for whatever reason (too young, too old, too risky at work, too shy, lacking confidence....etc), but the vibe is there like a magnet!
The only reason I got together with my ex was at a works xmas party. That age old inhibition killer - alchohol :laugh: Do you guys get in a social situation ever?? :flowerforyou:
Sorry, I know this wasnt your question.........:laugh:0 -
I think the crush is an impossible one...besides the age difference.....which I guess is not such a big deal after all...we work together and I don't think he wants more than frienship.....but I still have him running through my mind way too much.
It's not like I can't move on....I am taking to a couple of guys and we have started to bring up meeting, but still I want the crush out of my head!!!!
You remove crush, and in his place, you put someone else (add a bit of mind-blowing sex and some fun times).0 -
I think the crush is an impossible one...besides the age difference.....which I guess is not such a big deal after all...we work together and I don't think he wants more than frienship.....but I still have him running through my mind way too much.
It's not like I can't move on....I am taking to a couple of guys and we have started to bring up meeting, but still I want the crush out of my head!!!!
You remove crush, and in his place, you put someone else (add a bit of mind-blowing sex and some fun times).
Thanks all.....will just give it time0 -
..we work together and I don't think he wants more than frienship....
how do you know this for sure? :bigsmile: Have you asked? Or hinted? Or put yourself in a situation where you might test it?
Just as much as you are thinking 'how do I get over this crush', he might be thinking the same thing! I seriously think that a crush vibe is mutual! There may not be the same desire for execution, for whatever reason (too young, too old, too risky at work, too shy, lacking confidence....etc), but the vibe is there like a magnet!
The only reason I got together with my ex was at a works xmas party. That age old inhibition killer - alchohol :laugh: Do you guys get in a social situation ever?? :flowerforyou:
Sorry, I know this wasnt your question.........:laugh:
Yes. to the social situations.....it started that we ended up taking a class together---not on purpose, just ended up in same class---both back at college. Was fun...just friendly no big deal--he had a gf, I had a bf. Then at the work xmas party, he was drinking and very flirty....kissing my cheek....but he had gf who was with him, but she had JUST turned 21 and was taking advantage of open bar and making a fool of herself and he was not happy. I just shrugged off the flirtiness that it was due to alchohol. The one of the girls in the office commented that there is "just SOMETHING between you two"....guess that is when the crush really started
Fast fwd to St. Patricks Day....he and I and a group of others went out....we flirted all night.....he was realllllly drunk, and I was feeling good......and we kissed, he kissed me.....and before he did so he asked if i could keep a secret as he likes to keep private life away from work (which is true). And, he ended up staying in our hotel room....my cousin was there too....so nothing else, but the next day we decided not to share what happened.......and we stil talk, text, etc but I am pretty sure if he wanted more he would let me know.....grrr......sorry for the ramble.
OH....should mention he broke up with gf in beginning of February 0 -
find a new crush :P
its hard to get over someone but once you meet another you'll forget about him...especially if the next guy is better or hotter...ahahahha
Plenty of fish in the sea but why do we pick the one we cant catch...coz its more fun that way i guess ahahaha...0 -
Time.
Also, find other things or people to focus your life on right now.0 -
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
Well that has what I have been told before but for me really I try to take a step back and take off the rose tinted glasses.0 -
..we work together and I don't think he wants more than frienship....
how do you know this for sure? :bigsmile: Have you asked? Or hinted? Or put yourself in a situation where you might test it?
Just as much as you are thinking 'how do I get over this crush', he might be thinking the same thing! I seriously think that a crush vibe is mutual! There may not be the same desire for execution, for whatever reason (too young, too old, too risky at work, too shy, lacking confidence....etc), but the vibe is there like a magnet!
The only reason I got together with my ex was at a works xmas party. That age old inhibition killer - alchohol :laugh: Do you guys get in a social situation ever?? :flowerforyou:
Sorry, I know this wasnt your question.........:laugh:
Yes. to the social situations.....it started that we ended up taking a class together---not on purpose, just ended up in same class---both back at college. Was fun...just friendly no big deal--he had a gf, I had a bf. Then at the work xmas party, he was drinking and very flirty....kissing my cheek....but he had gf who was with him, but she had JUST turned 21 and was taking advantage of open bar and making a fool of herself and he was not happy. I just shrugged off the flirtiness that it was due to alchohol. The one of the girls in the office commented that there is "just SOMETHING between you two"....guess that is when the crush really started Fast fwd to St. Patricks Day....he and I and a group of others went out....we flirted all night.....he was realllllly drunk, and I was feeling good......and we kissed, he kissed me.....and before he did so he asked if i could keep a secret as he likes to keep private life away from work (which is true). And, he ended up staying in our hotel room....my cousin was there too....so nothing else, but the next day we decided not to share what happened.......and we stil talk, text, etc but I am pretty sure if he wanted more he would let me know.....grrr......sorry for the ramble.
OH....should mention he broke up with gf in beginning of February
I'd have to ask him. So that I could draw a line under it. Otherwise how can you ever be sure he isnt just being a wimp about the work situation? Men value their jobs a lot more than women. It's a big consideration for them. ( we had another thread on this somewhere?). I always think that its the man's 'job' to let us know if they want more, but again, reading a lot of male comments in this forum has led me to believe that they like women to take the lead too!! Ask him out for a drink. On your own. See if he's up for it and then ask him if he thinks there is any mileage for you two.
You know what kills a crush for me?? Just knowing that he's not interested!! The 'hope' and 'anticipation' is what keeps the crush alive. So, you gotta find out, for sure :flowerforyou:0 -
You think about how silly you look, chasing what you can't have (or quietly pining, but I was always more of a chaser! :laugh: ), then you think about what you might be missing out on because of your narrow view. Then you cry a little because practicality and love aren't supposed to go together (they never do in stories!) then you move to another country and change your name and get plastic surgery so even if he does see the light he won't be able to find you and you'll know it and can finally go on with your life.
What? Isn't that how everyone gets over it?0 -
I just don't let myself think about it and go find other fun people to bang...er, I mean... :blushing:
:laugh:0 -
My impossible crush and I used to be best friends. I'm talking, Incredibly. Close. I've had to distance myself quite dramatically to be able to move on at all. The distance started when I got very serious with someone and I realized I had to back away from Mr. Impossible in order to be fair to the relationship I was in. That relationship ended, but Mr. Impossible and I have never regained the closeness we shared prior. We still text occasionally and on the rare occasion I see him, the history, love (platonic), and respect we have for one another is still evident, but it will never be any more than that.
So, for me it was time. But since my impossible crush lasted for y.e.a.r.s, it was mostly the space I had to put between us.
There will always be a very special place in my heart. If I was quite honest, I'd have to say that for me at least, I don't think the crush will ever fully go away, but it has lessened with time.0
