He found out. Reaction was strange.
skywa
Posts: 901 Member
My boyfriend is a lovely boy. Gorgeous really. Cute face with silky black hair, a warm complexion and a rockin body. I really love him to death.
He has no idea about my ED. Or at least he didnt.
Recently he had the tendency to stalk all forms of media i use. I dont know why, he just does. I never really minded at first but its gotten a tad excessive.
Well either way, he was on my MFP and found out i was purging. He had no idea previously. Last night he just asked me, "Have you been throwing up?" and i defensively said, "No..." I am a horrid liar. He told me he knew.
I always imagined if he found out he'd tell my family and i'd end up in treatment (my worst nightmare). But he didn't seem all that phased by it. It was so strange! He said to me, "Only do it when you have to. When your really really full. Maybe like once a week would be okay. "
I didnt even know what to say. He wasn't the slightest bit appauled by the fact that i clearly had an eating disorder. He was actually okay with it. Just to top all of this off, he jokingly asked me while eating a bag of chips (which i refused to eat), if i wanted to "binge" with him. I ofcourse said no. The fact he even used such terminology to discribe his megar snacking appauled me.
Well all in all it was anti-climactic but most definately a strange and akward experience.
He has no idea about my ED. Or at least he didnt.
Recently he had the tendency to stalk all forms of media i use. I dont know why, he just does. I never really minded at first but its gotten a tad excessive.
Well either way, he was on my MFP and found out i was purging. He had no idea previously. Last night he just asked me, "Have you been throwing up?" and i defensively said, "No..." I am a horrid liar. He told me he knew.
I always imagined if he found out he'd tell my family and i'd end up in treatment (my worst nightmare). But he didn't seem all that phased by it. It was so strange! He said to me, "Only do it when you have to. When your really really full. Maybe like once a week would be okay. "
I didnt even know what to say. He wasn't the slightest bit appauled by the fact that i clearly had an eating disorder. He was actually okay with it. Just to top all of this off, he jokingly asked me while eating a bag of chips (which i refused to eat), if i wanted to "binge" with him. I ofcourse said no. The fact he even used such terminology to discribe his megar snacking appauled me.
Well all in all it was anti-climactic but most definately a strange and akward experience.
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Replies
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That doesn't sound good at all =/0
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Hmm. That doesn't sound in the least bit supportive. I think you need to have a serious conversation with him and tell him everything. You also need to tell him that you need support, not permission to purge, or teasing about binges. That's unfair, and quite frankly, mean.0
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Hi there! It almost sounds like he's mocking you for it.. I can relate to that. My boyfriend is pretty much what led to the development of my eating disorder last year. He claims he understands and that he is supportive, and sometimes he is, but quite often he just uses snide remarks and I feel as though he is mocking me for it. What your boyfriend did was very inconsiderate. I don't know whether he is just being insensitive or if he really just doesn't and can't understand. After all, it must be tough to understand an eating disorder if he hasn't gone through it himself (I am NOT defending him). Maybe you two can have a serious discussion about it? How open is he to talking about things?
Feel free to message me if you need xx0 -
It sounded to me (I can't say for sure, so I don't really know) that he knows the behaviour is similar to an addict, in that you can't force the one with the disorder to get help. He might be thinking if you only throw up once a week you'll eventually get weaned out of it. If he's as sweet as you say he is, he thinks his heart might be in the right place even though he doesn't know how to deal with his girlfriend's secret problem. Especially if only found out about it the way he did.0
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Maybe he's trying to use a form of humour to deal with his feelings about the situation?
My last boyfriend broke up with me over my ED... So I think you've at least got something you can work with. It's also a positive that he's not trying to change you or "fix" you, like I find so many guys will try to do.0 -
Thanks for sharing about this. I'm in a new-ish relationship (3 months) and have serious anxiety about if/when he will ever know about my ED. He knows that I don't drink or use drugs because of my past abuse of these substances, and was incredibly supportive. I have a couple reasons why I am finding it harder to share this info with him: I struggle with purging still; I don't have the recovery in this area that I do with drugs/alcohol. Also, I feel like EDs have an even worse stigma than drug addiction/alcoholism- I feel like people are more understanding of the disease aspect of drug addiction than of EDs. I feel gross feeling like I am hiding this "damaged" aspect of myself, I feel like I am lying. Because food stresses me out, I get "weird" at meals at times, ESPECIALLY at restaurants. I feel like I can't tell him the truth about why I have such a hard time in these situations. Arg. Suppose it will work itself out one way or another eventually0
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