Moral/Etiquette question involving horses.. need advice
TXBelle1174
Posts: 615 Member
I am seeking advice from other horse people about a situation I am in....
About a year ago, I went to my best friend looking for a horse for my 6 year old daughter. She brought me a 14 year old QH mare and said she would be a good kids horse. It was her boyfriend's first horse and he did everything on her - roped, playdays, trails, etc. The only stipulation is that if I didnt want her anymore, I would give her back to them. No hard feelings, no questions asked, etc. I rode her that day and she was pretty excitable in the pasture but I chalked it up to nervous energy, new place, etc.
I used her for lessons in the round pen or on a lunge line and I always rode her in my arena or round pen. She was a little fresh at first but always behaved herself. I didnt use her very much but maybe once a month or so.
Ok, my gelding hurt himself so I cant ride him anymore but he is ok for little kids and he is a bomb proof babysitter so I "swapped" with my daughter. The mare is now "my" horse. Anyway, I went to a clinic and she did ok, was a little nervous, but that was to be expected. I took her to a lesson the next week and she was almost too hot - she pranced and jigged and tried to run off and pull through the bit the whole time BUT I handled her and we finished the lesson on a good note.
A few days later I took my daughter and both horses to the same arena for trail practice. They set up a nice obstacle course for us to practice for an upcoming trail class. My daughters gelding did awesome. My mare FREAKED out. She pranced and danced and would not stand still. If I asked her to walk, she would try to run, she got really jumpy and made it so unpleasant that I got off and tied her up and just let my daughter ride. I know thats bad but I didnt want to deal with it when I was also trying to keep an eye on my little girl.
I talked with my riding instructor and she gave me some tips and I rode her a couple times at home with no issues at all.
This past weekend I took the horses and the kid on a trail ride. I have had my mare on a calming supplement for the past month and wanting to avoid any altercations, I gave her 3cc of Ace. As soon as we got out on the trail she was a complete idiot. She tried to run off the whole time, she pranced and jigged and when I asked her to stop, she would get light on her feet and try to rear. It was a mess. She wheeled around once and almost took some other little kid out. Once again, I had to get off and walk - not for my safety, but for the safety of the other riders and my kid that I was trying to pony.
I like the mare, she is fun to ride at home and when she is behaving herself but I really need a horse that I can take out with my daughter and have it be a safe situation. If it were just me, I would deal with it.
When I got home, I sarcastically posted to FB that I was looking for a solid trail horse free to a good home or cheap. Well... a friend of mine sent me a text and asked me if I wanted her horse. I used to board her horse at my house and I would ride her to keep her legged up cause my friend is a SUPER beginner and her mare is really light. Anyway.. I LOVE that mare and she is an awesome trail horse.
SO.... do I give back the mare that my best friend gave me because she is obviously NOT a kid horse and she is a nut case when outside the confines of our own pasture and get the other horse from my other friend that I KNOW is a good trail horse and can be trusted to do what I need her to do.
OR do I keep the mare I have and just hope that she gets better with time and forget about the other mare.
Advice please!!! I dont want to make my BF mad and I DO like my mare (Strawberry) but I REALLY want the other mare. My husband says I cannot have three horses so keeping both is not an option.
About a year ago, I went to my best friend looking for a horse for my 6 year old daughter. She brought me a 14 year old QH mare and said she would be a good kids horse. It was her boyfriend's first horse and he did everything on her - roped, playdays, trails, etc. The only stipulation is that if I didnt want her anymore, I would give her back to them. No hard feelings, no questions asked, etc. I rode her that day and she was pretty excitable in the pasture but I chalked it up to nervous energy, new place, etc.
I used her for lessons in the round pen or on a lunge line and I always rode her in my arena or round pen. She was a little fresh at first but always behaved herself. I didnt use her very much but maybe once a month or so.
Ok, my gelding hurt himself so I cant ride him anymore but he is ok for little kids and he is a bomb proof babysitter so I "swapped" with my daughter. The mare is now "my" horse. Anyway, I went to a clinic and she did ok, was a little nervous, but that was to be expected. I took her to a lesson the next week and she was almost too hot - she pranced and jigged and tried to run off and pull through the bit the whole time BUT I handled her and we finished the lesson on a good note.
A few days later I took my daughter and both horses to the same arena for trail practice. They set up a nice obstacle course for us to practice for an upcoming trail class. My daughters gelding did awesome. My mare FREAKED out. She pranced and danced and would not stand still. If I asked her to walk, she would try to run, she got really jumpy and made it so unpleasant that I got off and tied her up and just let my daughter ride. I know thats bad but I didnt want to deal with it when I was also trying to keep an eye on my little girl.
I talked with my riding instructor and she gave me some tips and I rode her a couple times at home with no issues at all.
This past weekend I took the horses and the kid on a trail ride. I have had my mare on a calming supplement for the past month and wanting to avoid any altercations, I gave her 3cc of Ace. As soon as we got out on the trail she was a complete idiot. She tried to run off the whole time, she pranced and jigged and when I asked her to stop, she would get light on her feet and try to rear. It was a mess. She wheeled around once and almost took some other little kid out. Once again, I had to get off and walk - not for my safety, but for the safety of the other riders and my kid that I was trying to pony.
I like the mare, she is fun to ride at home and when she is behaving herself but I really need a horse that I can take out with my daughter and have it be a safe situation. If it were just me, I would deal with it.
When I got home, I sarcastically posted to FB that I was looking for a solid trail horse free to a good home or cheap. Well... a friend of mine sent me a text and asked me if I wanted her horse. I used to board her horse at my house and I would ride her to keep her legged up cause my friend is a SUPER beginner and her mare is really light. Anyway.. I LOVE that mare and she is an awesome trail horse.
SO.... do I give back the mare that my best friend gave me because she is obviously NOT a kid horse and she is a nut case when outside the confines of our own pasture and get the other horse from my other friend that I KNOW is a good trail horse and can be trusted to do what I need her to do.
OR do I keep the mare I have and just hope that she gets better with time and forget about the other mare.
Advice please!!! I dont want to make my BF mad and I DO like my mare (Strawberry) but I REALLY want the other mare. My husband says I cannot have three horses so keeping both is not an option.
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Replies
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My input?
Life is too short to be unhappy!
But, I think you might not have enough information to make a decision. The mare you've been offered - have you ridden her lately? You might want to try her in the same situations as your current horse...would give you a better and more accurate comparision!
From just the info you've provided, MY decision would be easy - dump the "crazy" mare and bring home the other. Of course, I would also do test rides as I've mentioned above AND a thorough PPE. People often talk about athleticism, conformation, and ability alone...I say the BRAIN is the most important factor! Some horses just have the ability to mentally handle anything you throw at them, and some just don't.
Quite a perdicament you're in, that's for sure. However, just from some of the terms and working you've used....I think you know what you want to do. (Go ride that other mare and find out how she is now!)
Good luck!
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I say give the mare back. It doesn't sound like you enjoy this type of ride, and I am a firm believer in that riding should be enjoyable. I'm sorry to see you in this situation. I would also say to test the other mare, just to make sure she's the same as you remember her. Remember, horses do change sometimes. Good luck with your decision.0
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I think there are lots of things to consider
are you over feeding her?
she is coming in to heat?
if so regimate her
are you working her enough?
is she stabled all day with limited turn out?
does the saddle fit?
change the bit?
are you getting nervous and sending that down the reins?
Also, your friend may have always trotted/cantered her when she was ridden, so mare is doing what she has always done. Example I used to ride a friend's horse that was an ex-barrel racer. He was super out in a field or on the trail, but get him in an enclosed area, ring/arena/indoor and he started looking for barrels !! He would hype himself up so high he would jig all the way home. We quickly learned that riding in a ring was not for this horse so we never did.
but I also agree with the other posters, send the horse back and get the other one. Riding should be enjoyable not miserable.0 -
Ditto what everyone else said.
But one comment/ question: 3 cc ace and she's still acting like that ?? :O I give my race horse mare 2cc and most of them are fast asleep.
P.0 -
Ditto what everyone else said.
But one comment/ question: 3 cc ace and she's still acting like that ?? :O I give my race horse mare 2cc and most of them are fast asleep.
P.
Yeah!!! Exactly!0 -
Given that it was discussed when you took this mare that should you not want her anymore they'd take her back, no questions asked, no hard feelings... give the mare back. Even if that other mare doesn't work out, this mare isn't for you in your current situation. There are enough GREAT horses out there that it would be silly for you to suffer through with this one, who so very obviously isn't the right fit.0
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SO.... do I give back the mare that my best friend gave me because she is obviously NOT a kid horse and she is a nut case when outside the confines of our own pasture and get the other horse from my other friend that I KNOW is a good trail horse and can be trusted to do what I need her to do.
There ya go... ya just answered your own question. First mare is OBVIOUSLY NOT A KID-SAFE HORSE! Give her back, with LOTS of "thank-you for letting us borrow her" comments. Keep your friendship intact, & be honest, but tactful. THEN, after 1st mare is safely back to her original owner, THEN follow-up with a thank-you card or something to the friend that you borrowed the horse from. And, go find that 2nd mare that will make you happier & that you can safely take out WITH your kid. Just IMHO. J 0 -
Yup - give the mare back. She's not what you need, and it's not like you're sending her to auction or something.
Even if you DO figure out what's bothering her - would you trust your kid on her out at an event? I don't think I would.0 -
I am in agreement with the others, give her back. Especially since you have the perfect place she can go to, the original owners, with no hard feelings and you know she will be cared for. Get the mare that will make you happy and safe as well as your kids. You obviously have a nice quiet horse (gelding) so it doesn't seem it's anything you've done or caused for this mare to behave like this...some horses just aren't kid safe horses. Definitely think of everyone's happiness and safety. 0
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I think there are lots of things to consider
are you over feeding her?
she is coming in to heat?
if so regimate her
are you working her enough?
is she stabled all day with limited turn out?
does the saddle fit?
change the bit?
are you getting nervous and sending that down the reins?
^^^^^^^
THIS
Plus getting her Teeth done and maybe starting some ground work with her.0 -
I was going to but the girl with the Paint mare bailed out on the deal. I was so mad!!! Now I am stuck with psycho pony. However, she is doing MUCH better these days. I still have to Ace her on a trail ride though.
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