For the last two weeks I have been doing a program that specifically works on emotional eating and have been finding it quite helpful but also stressful as it forces you to deal with the pain that is generally ignored/numbed by eating (http://www.shrinkyourself.com).

I would love everyone to post how they have been going with their emotional eating (regardless of how well it has been going). I look forward to your updates.

Here are some of my musings from the last few weeks…

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My emotional eating habits I need to look out for are…

• When I am feeling anxious, eating gives me some temporary relief by making me feel calm, but later I feel like I'm sabotaging myself.
• When I am feeling overwhelmed, eating gives me some temporary relief by making me feel centred, but later I feel like a failure.
• When I am feeling empty, eating gives me some temporary relief by making me feel numb, but later I feel ugly.
• It really pushes my buttons and tempts me to eat when someone criticizes me. This situation makes me upset because it makes me feel inferior.
• It really pushes my buttons and tempts me to eat when someone withdraws love from me. This situation makes me upset because it makes me feel paniced that I am alone.
• It really pushes my buttons and tempts me to eat when someone expects me to be perfect. This situation makes me upset because it makes me feel worthless.

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My three biggest issues are:

1. Eating to a point of overfull in the evenings: it seems like a hybrid of a fear of hunger so I should ‘stock up’ and, a more is better philosophy to all the healthy-but-high-cal food that ends up being a double portion.

2. Emotional eating after dinner: I feel very anxious each night and constantly think about eating large amounts of what ever high carb/fat/sugar food is about, to numb out the anxiety.

3. Not sustaining an exercise habit: when I am in the habit I love it and enjoy going every day, but when a life event breaks the habit I find it very hard to get started again and it can be months between. I am currently exercising daily and loving it and I want to sustain that habit.

So my healthy habits that I want to pick up are:

1. Listening to my body: not eating to the point of overfull, but satiation. I think this is about a 7 on the hungry scale. I will use the hunger scale with eat dinner (I have no problem not overeating during the day). I will ask myself “how hungry am I?” and stop at 7 (taking into account that is takes 20min for hunger to catch up with eating). I know this will be an emotionally challenging task to take on because it will bring up a lot of anxiety to not have the ‘overfull’ feeling. I think my ‘overstocking on food just in case’ mentality comes from my mother, when I was a baby, putting me at the end of the house and shutting the door so she could sleep through the night. I imagine I felt afraid I would die alone, and hungry each time I awoke. When I saw her in the morning she would have feed me and I would have felt safe again. I have a fear of not getting enough macro and micronutrients to be healthy when I eat lightly for dinner, and I justify to myself that I need large quantities of avocado, seeds, protein so that my body functions properly. I need to hold this fear up to the light of day and show myself how little I actually need to operate well. I wake up feeling so energised when I eat lightly at night time; I want that feeling more often.

2. Preventing binges: My binges only happen after dinner and are usually triggered by a feeling of anxiety about the future or disconnection from my partner. I am capable of dealing with both these issues and in fact would have a better life if instead of ignoring these emotions with the numbing effects of food; I actually dealt with them. I think this habit will have to be learnt as a habit, and therefore the first weeks of undoing the old habit will involve quite a bit of will power. Currently I have a small bowl of fruit for dessert and savour it, and make the agreement with myself that I may not have anything else after that. One interesting though it that the emotional desire is for pleasure (as well as being a habit) and I can use the opportunity to bring my beauty and pleasure into my life.

3. Exercise enough: I am loving exercise at the moment but my history is full of falling off the exercise wagon. I bore easily of one type so need to change. Also my life changes a lot as I travel and move cities. I need to be reflexive and develop a strategy here.

4. Bouncing back: I am a bit of a perfectionist so this habit will help we see the error of that thinking and just keep going – rather than give up – when I inevitably do overeat/ emotionally eat / lose my exercise habit.

I would love to hear from others what are your goals advice you have on how I could achieve mine.

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Oh and to add; my biggest motivation to succeed at this program is that I want to feel like I am ‘free’ by not carrying around artefacts (i.e. fat) of being a scared child hiding from my feelings. Not carrying around excess fat says to the world that I am a strong women who can deal with her life.

Each pound I lose says I am free and strong.

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This week I am going to try to learn the 'hunger scale'. I often over eat to a '9' and I want to learn to eat to a '7'.

The below information is from http://www.healthylifestylebalance.c...ess-scale.html

Hunger Fullness Scale

At 0, you are starving. You've probably gone too long without eating (6-8 hours). You are possibly quite grumpy. You might be feeling nauseous or dizzy, or you may have a splitting headache. You might have trouble thinking clearly. Your metabolism is slowing down to conserve energy. You need food.

At 1, you are ravenous. All you can think about is how hungry you are. You are consumed with ideas about what you want to eat. It has probably been about 5 or 6 hours since you last ate. Because you’re so hungry, once you do eat, it’s likely that you will overeat to compensate.

At 2, you are too hungry. You are probably irritable. You may have a headache. Your stomach might be aching by now. It has probably been 4 or more hours since you last ate.

At 3, you are having hunger pangs. It’s time to eat. Your body is giving you the natural signals that it needs food. You start to salivate when you think of something that tastes good, and your stomach might be growling. This is a good number to start eating--wait any longer and you will be too hungry. It has probably been about 2-3 hours since you last ate.

At 4, your hunger is just starting to awaken. There is a sense of emptiness in your stomach. This can also be good time to eat. You may have eaten about 2 hours ago.

At 5, you are neutral. You aren’t hungry or full—this sensation exists between mealtimes. If you feel this and want to eat, it is not due to hunger--it may be an urge to eat due to stress, excitement, boredom, etc.

At 6, you are just satisfied. You aren’t hungry anymore, but probably will be in about 2 hours. There is definitely more room for food (you are maybe 80% full), and you still feel light and energized. This can be a good place to finish a meal/snack.

At 7, you are 'just right'. You got your fill of the food you wanted. You are no longer hungry and you probably won’t need to eat again for approximately 3 hours. This is also a good place to finish.

At 8, you had a few bites too many. You ate a few more bites because it was there or tasted good. You might feel a bit bloated like you need to undo the top button of your pants. You may not be hungry for another 4-5 hours.

At 9, you are stuffed. Your eating experience has surpassed pleasure and is now just uncomfortable. You may feel a bit numb or sleepy. You will not be hungry for approximately 6 hours.

At 10, you are sick. You feel uncomfortable to the point of pain. You may need to lie down until you feel better. Hang in there--the discomfort will pass, and you can expect to be hungry again in another 7-8 hours.

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Here is something more on the hunger scale concept...

http://www.thebestlife.com/articles/...les.php?&id=23

Sometimes it feels so automatic: you arrive home, head straight for the kitchen, and dive into a box of crackers, cookies, or worse, a carton of ice cream. The worst part: Chances are you're not even hungry. Eating just to eat is no doubt one of the biggest pitfalls to losing weight and keeping it off. Differentiate between real and imaginary hunger and you'll avoid overeating. How do you do this? Use the Best Life Hunger Scale. The 10-point scale gauges your hunger so you can accurately determine whether it's genuine or not.

Here's how it works: for a few days, jot down your hunger level before and after each meal and snack. This "hunger diary" provides vital clues to your eating habits. Ideally, you should begin to eat at level 3 or 4, and stop eating when you reach level 5. If you begin at a 1 or 2, you'll be so hungry that you're prone to overeating. And if you go into a meal in the 5- to 10-range, you,re likely eating due to boredom, stress, or for some other emotional reason.

Here's a breakdown of the Hunger Scale, what each level means, and how to use it during various meal situations to prevent overeating.

The Hunger Scale
10 Stuffed: You are so full, you feel nauseous.
9 Very uncomfortably full: You need to loosen your clothes.
8 Uncomfortably full: You feel bloated.
7 Full: You feel a little bit uncomfortable.
6 Perfectly comfortable: You feel satisfied.
5 Comfortable: You’re more or less satisfied, but could eat a little more.
4 Slightly uncomfortable: You’re just beginning to feel signs of hunger.
3 Uncomfortable: Your stomach is rumbling.
2 Very uncomfortable: You feel irritable and unable to concentrate.
1 Weak and light-headed: Your stomach acid is churning.

SAMPLE SITUATIONS
Breakfast
Your Hunger Level: 5 or 6
What To Do: You may not wake up hungry, but you should start to feel hunger pangs within an hour of waking. If you don't, just continue to adhere to the two-hour eating cut-off in the evening. Eventually, you will wake up hungry in the a.m. Remember, this is the only time you should eat even if you're not hungry. Ideally, you should have a healthy bite within an hour of getting up. Skipping breakfast is strongly connected to overeating later in the day and making poor food choices.

Before lunch, dinner or snack
Your Hunger Level: 3 or 4
What To Do: This is the right level for starting a meal or snack. Now, just make sure to stop before you get too full.

You've cleaned your plate
Your Hunger Level: 5
What To Do: You're no longer hungry, but it would still be easy to have another serving. Resist—that way you know you're just slightly undereating, something you have to do in order to drop weight. If, however, you're looking to maintain your weight, you can eat until you're just slightly more full, about a 6 on the hunger scale.

It's time for a snack, but I'm not hungry.
Your Hunger Level: 5 or higher
What To Do: Skip your snack. Remember, you should wait until you're a 3 or 4 before you eat.

I'm finished eating, but I'm still hungry.
Your Hunger Level: 3 or 4
What To Do: Wait 20 minutes. Go for a walk or distract yourself with conversation, then see how hungry you are. If you're still hungry, have another small helping from the meal or a little more of your snack.

I'm famished.
Your Hunger Level: 1 or 2
What To Do: Try not to get to this point. Learn to acknowledge your hunger, eat when you're hungry and stop eating at a 5 or a 6.

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Learning to listen to my body is my most challenging habit because listening is painful. It is the opposite of the comfort of eating.

I feel a sense of terror about only eating when hungry. It feels like a primordial survival fear. Just setting the goal makes me anxious and want to feel the security of a fat and sugar laden binge securely inside my body. I feel vulnerable. I have lost my shield from my feelings by not being allowed to binge, and I feel that my body is lighter which also makes me feel vulnerable (perhaps to a famine). It is like all this talk of eating lightly makes my body want to ‘stock-up’ for the self-imposed light-eating –‘famine’ ahead.

So now my listening to my body, I am listening to my feelings that I try to ignore, and listening to my feelings about having to listen to my feelings. This does not make listening very pleasurable. Anyone reading this who wants to say “this is a new habit you are forming and going through this hard part will make it all easier eventually’ please feel free to do so.

Googling “fear of hunger” comes up with a few musings…

Ashley writes about how hunger can control us because we see it as the enemy rather than a physiological response http://voiceinrecovery.wordpress.com/2010/08/23/a-fear-of-hunger/

Jag writes that her fear of hunger comes from being a binge eater and having the experience of hunger proceeding binges http://www.jagsfitnessblog.com/2010/08/26/fear-of-hunger/

Kym writes about her panic about hunger being linked to being poor as a girl and not having enough food. Her strategy is to speak to the little girl inside her and soothe her. http://eatingdisorderrecovery.com/index.php/forums/postlist/1/254/true

Bearing shares a quote that made a big difference to how she sees hunger; "Three-quarters of the world's population goes to bed hungry, and so should you."
http://arlinghaus.typepad.com/blog/2008/07/gains-pt-4-fixing-whats-wrong.html

Christie writes; “hunger is not an emergency and we don’t have to respond to it as if it is.”
http://www.healthforthewholeself.com/2010/08/but-i-cant-honor-my-hunger-cues/

Katie writes about her fear coming from having dieted in the past where she ignored her hunger. Her current strategy is to allow herself to feel the hunger.
http://www.healthforthewholeself.com/2010/09/challenging-my-fear-of-hunger/

Love to hear what others feel…