Does being a military wife make you over weight?
_AshLynn
Posts: 134 Member
Before you all judge like I am being a mean person about this hear me out....
Around here, where I am stationed, there are many overweight women that are Army wives. Actually, the majority are. There is also a small group of small little girls who have nothing better to do than pick on them & try and steal the attention from their men. It all is a sad sad thing.
But I kind of am just curious if there is anything linked? Does being a military wife make you more prone to being overweight? I have noticed all this and just assumed to myself that the rate we all have children in the army would make it a lot more difficult on a women's body to lose weight. Also, with a deployed husband things get stressful & a typical comfort for stress is food.
Do you all have any thoughts on this?
Around here, where I am stationed, there are many overweight women that are Army wives. Actually, the majority are. There is also a small group of small little girls who have nothing better to do than pick on them & try and steal the attention from their men. It all is a sad sad thing.
But I kind of am just curious if there is anything linked? Does being a military wife make you more prone to being overweight? I have noticed all this and just assumed to myself that the rate we all have children in the army would make it a lot more difficult on a women's body to lose weight. Also, with a deployed husband things get stressful & a typical comfort for stress is food.
Do you all have any thoughts on this?
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I don't think it actually makes you overweight nor are you destined to be overweight. I think the lifestyle is particularly challenging for someone who already struggles with weight and food. We've done 3 deployments, countless training exercises, 3 major moves, 2 kids and 4 miscarriage in the past seven years. I resorted to food as a coping mechanism. It wouldn't surprise me if that's the case for a lot of women. I don't know, maybe I'm totally off. I've struggled with weight my whole life, the extremely stressful life didn't help anything. Thankfully, I've acknowledged a problem and have resorted myself to fix it.0
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I've wondered the same thing. I've noticed military women are more prone to be overweight than other wives. Even for myself, I see food as a comfort, and the military has added quite a bit of stress to my life. Another thing could be that most wives are very young, just out of high school, and apt to put on weight anyways (like most of us do after high school). And then of course the babies. A marine wife advised me to get four gowns, and one of them should be a maternity, for the Marine Balls. It's what she's noticed that the wives need.
What slightly baffles me is that our menfolk are normally in great shape, so why aren't we as a majority? Maybe because they're so active and eat so much, we feel like we can eat a lot too (like most men gaining weight with a pregnant wife). Also, I've noticed the same: that are smaller women trying the men's attention. But then again, it just seems like there are women in general, regardless of size, that want their attention.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say from my observations: yes, being a military wife adds just one more obstacle of the goal of being healthy and fit.0 -
I heard about the phenomena of the "10" The 1 being the man and the 0 being the wife when they stand together. It has seemed true everywhere we have lived, however, I see the other extreme as well "11" couples where the wife is super skinny. I see very few "normal" couples.
I think it does give the extra stress and hardship to help aid weight gain. I think the youth of both parties plays a part, as does the money aspect - I know in my family (he's older and so was a higher rank when we met than typical newlywed miltiary couples) we had money spare for "treats" in a way that my parents never did as newly weds. Obviously if you have lots of kids this is immediately negated
I think there are lots of things helping to make us fatter as military spouses.
The only benefit the miltiary gives us is the free access to the base gym(s) but these are rarely provided with childcare (free or otherwise) and the hours they are open aren't always on a par with the hours the spouse works. I know for me, working out at night means working out starting from 8, many gyms close by 9 and classes aren't available that late at night so the gym isn't ideal.
How do you lot feel about the support your husband gives you in your weightloss effort? My dh has never really been particularly understanding of my weightgain, choosing to neglect the fact that his workout is incorporated into his day and is therefore technically "paid to workout" whereas I have to find the time in my already packed days to workout. He has started to get better though thanks to this site.0 -
I heard about the phenomena of the "10" The 1 being the man and the 0 being the wife when they stand together. It has seemed true
How do you lot feel about the support your husband gives you in your weightloss effort? My dh has never really been particularly understanding of my weightgain, choosing to neglect the fact that his workout is incorporated into his day and is therefore technically "paid to workout" whereas I have to find the time in my already packed days to workout. He has started to get better though thanks to this site.
Mine wants to treat me like another Marine, thinking by insulting or telling me to push harder I will. I tell him if he wants to work out with them, he needs to. If he wants to spend quality time with his wife being active and enjoying time together as a couple, then he needs to view it from that perspective. It helped a lot. He still pushes, but slower and gentler. And he's beginning to realize I do better with positive compliments: it keeps me motivated.
As far as gaining weight, while I only gained 10 lbs since we first met, he is not shy about stating that he doesn't find "fat people attractive". He follows with the horrible, "I'd still love you and be with you" crap. What's odd is that I didn't lose the now 18 lbs for him at all (though he didn't consider me fat for it to be a contributing factor towards motivating), I did it because I didn't want to buy bigger jeans (I was getting over weight), and I love being able to keep up with what I want to do, such as bicycling and hiking. I continue on it because now I'm in love with weight training and what is doing to shape and tone my body. My husband is just the recepient of the sexier me.0 -
I always gained a ton of weight with my pregnancies, and through hard-work lost it. But, yeah, I definitely think being a military wife does throw a little extra obstacles in the path of fitness.
For example. Before joining, DH was a contractor. After we had our fifth child, I got into shape because I had a free gym membership. Once a week, I volunteered for 2 hours (at night) to clean the kid zone part of the club, and in return, our entire family had a free membership to the gym. And we had free child-care. 2 hours at a time. (Meaning, I could work out twice a day and bring the kids--as long as they weren't in the kid zone for longer than two consecutive hours.) Took me three months to drop the after-baby weight.
After our 6th (and final child), DH went off to BCT. Forget going to the gym, I was just surviving each day. (At the time, I was also running a small daycare in my home.) We finally get to live with him, and I was jazzed about the free gyms...but like someone else said: no childcare. With my husband's wonky schedule, it's been either work out at home, or not at all.
I'm a gymrat. Bona fide. And it's taken me until now--when my youngest is 2 1/2 years old, to finally reconcile myself to the fact that I may not be hitting the gym seriously again until she's in kindergarten. I've finally made peace with the idea that I need to workout at home.
Surprisingly, I haven't really seen a greater-than-average number of overweight wives in the military compared to when we were a civilian family. Thus far, it's been the same.0 -
I always gained a ton of weight with my pregnancies, and through hard-work lost it. But, yeah, I definitely think being a military wife does throw a little extra obstacles in the path of fitness.
^^ This.
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How do you lot feel about the support your husband gives you in your weightloss effort?
The hubs is fantastic about helping me get back into shape. Our schedules are strained (as you can imagine) that I don't get to work out until about 8pm. When I tell him I'm going to go work out he is great about just taking over with the kids and giving me the time I need to focus on my weightloss. We also stay on track with our calories and try not to sabotage ourselves or the other spouse by bringing junk food into the house.0 -
How do you lot feel about the support your husband gives you in your weightloss effort?
The hubs is fantastic about helping me get back into shape. Our schedules are strained (as you can imagine) that I don't get to work out until about 8pm. When I tell him I'm going to go work out he is great about just taking over with the kids and giving me the time I need to focus on my weightloss. We also stay on track with our calories and try not to sabotage ourselves or the other spouse by bringing junk food into the house.
This is us as well. He actually joined my fitness pal with me and has lost 15 pounds and is fine and just maintaing but he understands my struggles and is very supportive of me. No eating out unless it's a healthy choice and no junk in the house period. Plus, he's been up for going for walks with me and the kids where as before he'd stay home.0 -
I was over wight before my husband joined the military in '10. Having my 2 girls close in age had a horrible effect on my body...they are so worth it though. Now that he is gone...I have been working our 5 to 6 times a week and he is very supportive even though he is half way around the world. Every Sunday when I tell him how much weight I lost that week (even if only a pound)...he tells me how amazing I am doing.0
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I did always struggle with weight before my husband joined the military, but I don't doubt that the stress if military life can add to the weight struggles! It's just a common stereotype that military wives are overweight! I also have my own theory though that most (not all) military husbands go through their own struggles that also makes it harder for them to be supportive in the way we need them to be! Those of you that have supportive husbands are definitely against this stereotype that I've seen and that's awesome! This of course is just my opinion! I'm really don't think weight matters, it's how you feel about yourself, and hoping to get to a place where I feel better about the way I look!0
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I have been overweight my entire life, and have only been "thin" for 2 years of my life. In 2001, I started a weightless journey and lost 111lbs. In 2003, I got pregnant with my awesome daughter, gained, stopped taking car of myself, and gained back almost 100 of what I lost. Husband re-enlisted in 2008 and I was already overweight again. Recently, in 2011, I started again. I have lost 22.5 lbs so far.....
Army has nothing to do with it. Husband have nothing to do with it. It is me...my motivation, my excuses, my emotions...
Yes, being an Army wife is stressful. Yes, having a wonderful husband helps. But until I am ready I couldn't start over......
Needless to say, my husband is awesome. I love how he treats me, chubby or not, but he is super supportive when I am trying to lose.
I love being on MFP. I enjoy this group, and all of your support. Let's keep supporting each other in becoming the best Military WIves we can be...HOOAH!!!!0 -
I think some of it along with what has already been said is lonelines. Prior to being just a spouse I never had a weight problem and had a very full life.......I was one of those AD members that judged the overweight wives and wondered why they allowed themselves to be like that. Especially when they did not work! However has things turnout my life turned upside down when I seperated from AD life. I found out I was expecting my 2nd child and my husband got orders to portugal for 15 months. I thought stay behind have our baby and all will be good. Had friend while I was in so I should still have my life right. WRONG I found I did not have friends because their lives were still full of work and their own families. Lived off base because we own our house. FOOD was my only friend for 15 months. Oh by the way my 1st child was only 1 at the time. So I spent ALL of my time with a small child. Only downtime I got was when my aunt would call and play with her on the phone. (this will not be good when she hits teen years by the way...she now LOVES to talk...a lot)
The spouse has work and everything that goes along with it and I found I had nothing left but to be a mom. Extremely lonely. I now work back on base as a civilian in my old squadron so that has helped. But in a bad job market and the deployment rate the way it is, food is often a girls best friend.
Also I have found spouses to be pretty nasty to each other, which I have yet to understand. We are in the same situations and should support each other more.
Just my two cents.0 -
No. Our civilian counterparts have stress in their lives as well, granted it isn't deployment related but I know many who have more stress in their life than I do in mine. If it isn't one thing it's another. Our stressors are a given, their's may not be as obvious.
In the civilian world there are rude and condescending people as well, if it isn't the other people on post it's the lady at the kids school, or the person in the cubicle next to them at work.
And as far as children go, my civilian friends have just as many if not more than I do.
So all in all, I don't find any correlation between anything in the original post. I have every reason and capacity to succeed in life as my civilian counterparts do. Heck my whole family is overweight, that's more of a reason than than the lifestyle we choose to lead. Do I use it as an excuse? Does it really matter? No. It only matters if I let it.0 -
In short, no, I don't think being a military wife contributes to women being overweight. I think it is just one more excuse that women will use to justify their weight. Everyone can make excuses (I work too much; he works too much; I go to school; my husband is deployed; I stay at home with kids and don't have childcare; we move around a lot, etc). If you can get out of the house, take advantage of the gyms on base. If you can't, work out at home. You don't need a pricey home gym to break a sweat. There are plenty of workout dvds $10 or less. If you have kids, incorporate them into your workout. Go for walks, bike rides, etc. It's super easy to make excuses, but I truly believe that if you REALLY want something, you make the time for it. You put in the effort. I'm sorry if I sound preachy, but this is HUGE pet peeve of mine. The stereotype of the military wife being fat and lazy drives me insane. That's just my opinion.0
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I know what you mean, For me personally it has nothing to do with the military. When I met my husband i had just dropped 80 pounds and i had battled being overweight my whole life till then. I met my husband and we moved and I stayed the same weight till pregnant lost it after i had my daughter and then after i went on special meds had another baby and my father passed i gave up on caring till now lol so mine has nothing to do with military life lmao in fact deployments motivate me more then when he is home lmao sad but true0
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I definitely gained a lot of weight when my husband joined...close to 80 lbs actually. Mine was just unhealthy choices, and when we PCSed, since it was hard to make friends, I spent a lot of time at home eating.
My husband is extremely supportive, but he is also too nice to me. Lol, when I fall off the wagon, he just tells me its ok (which it is) but doesnt push me to get back on it. He also is 5'10 and weighs like 150lbs, and has NEVER struggled with weight, so I think it is hard for him to understand the struggle.0 -
My husband is extremely supportive, but he is also too nice to me. Lol, when I fall off the wagon, he just tells me its ok (which it is) but doesnt push me to get back on it. He also is 5'10 and weighs like 150lbs, and has NEVER struggled with weight, so I think it is hard for him to understand the struggle.
same with mine he is 5 11 and 160 pound never been fat and can eat everything lmao he is too nice to me about the weight loss also0 -
I have to agreeI don't think it actually makes you overweight nor are you destined to be overweight. I think the lifestyle is particularly challenging for someone who already struggles with weight and food. We've done 3 deployments, countless training exercises, 3 major moves, 2 kids and 4 miscarriage in the past seven years. I resorted to food as a coping mechanism. It wouldn't surprise me if that's the case for a lot of women. I don't know, maybe I'm totally off. I've struggled with weight my whole life, the extremely stressful life didn't help anything. Thankfully, I've acknowledged a problem and have resorted myself to fix it.
it is a stressful life style especially sense you already struggle with weight plus adding the extra problems that you had to deal with. Than our husbands take off for weeks or months at a time and sometimes we are no where near family or friends its hard to stay motivated, its hard to motivate yourself.0 -
Being a military wife has nothing to do with you being overweight. Im a military wife and Im not over weight and majority of my friends are slim. If you are a military wife, policeman wife or just a wife period you can be over weight especially after kids. Its bad that people just put military wives in the fat category and all of them are fat blah blah blah.
Yes deployment can have a toll on you heck when your husband leaves twice a year for 2-3 months at a time with children and you work can make you overweight. You dont have time to work out. But everyone live their lives differently and everyone is shaped differently. There are woman with conditions that cause them to be overweight, not them just being "fat and lazy"0 -
Well, when my husband is home he likes to eat out all the time. Almost like he's never eaten in his life, he eats so much at one sitting. He's very thin though , because he runs long distances. Lately he has been making me exercise with him over Skype. Since he's deployed over seas for the past couple months, but he's been gone since June of 2010. We do pushups, situps , and I run on my treadmill while we are on Skype. He helps motivate me, and helps me with my diet. It's a bonding this for us, but it's very stressful. Knowing he's gone all the time, and I am a very emotional person. So when I get upset, I stop eating for long periods of time, because I just get depressed. So I started taking 445mg Cayenne Fruit Supplement , and Iron Supplement to help me get out of bed. It's been making me exercise a lot more. It helps me feel more alert, and I don't feel as sad. I think exercising is a great way to get my mind of him being gone though.0
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Deployment, specifically, has given me WAY too many excuses. Before my spouse left, it was easy to justify NOT working out (why would I do that when we can do all of this other fun/romantic/lazy/etc. stuff!), and also easy to justify eating any and all junk we wanted. I gained an embarrassing amount of weight in the months leading up to deployment, and I will probably spend all tour working to get it off.
I am of course not saying the lifestyle in general leads people to being overweight (just like anything, people react differently to the stresses of such a lifestyle), but the new experience of deployment is something that I am going to have to learn to balance in the future :S.0 -
When I met my husband I had just gotten out of the Marines, and I was 189lbs fast foward a few months and i was back down to 148lbs.I recently had my baby and im sitting at 200
.....Ive become the mil wife i never wanted to become! Im so scared to go to the ball and look like a hefer! Army wives do seem to be bigger and lower enlisted Marine wives 0 -
My husband joining the military is actually what inspired me to finally drop the weight I gained. He loves me at any weight, but when he saw me during the Airman's run, he said he almost didn't recognize me because I dropped so much weight. We also ran together while I was there and he had never seen me run more than 2 blocks and we went almost 2 1/2 miles in the hot San Antonio sun so he was very impressed. He is supportive and we've compromised on some things when I get to live with him after tech school...like if I cook, I can make it as healthy as I want and he will eat it and if I don't buy the junk food, he won't bring any into the house either. He also said he would run with me whenever his schedule permits, but if it doesn't, I know I can easily run on my own time frame. I am worried about once we have kids, but I will find a way to make time for my health because I don't want to be the fat wife. I won't be a stick either, but I will be fit and healthy and do my best to keep up with him!
Plus making new friends is so much easier when you are into fitness. Normally, I do solitary activities like writing or reading. This way, I can join a running club to meet people.0 -
Being a military wife does not MAKE you over weight. It does give us added stress which makes it easier to blame our over eating/crappy habits on something other than ourselves. At the end of the day tho we chose to eat those things and chose not to work out in our living room because the gym on base doesn't have childcare. I actually weigh about 10lbs less now than I did when we got married and at least 5 less than when my husband joined the Navy, granted our only kids are dogs so if I want to go to the gym I just leave them at home
Overall I actually think I see LESS overly huge (I dare not say obese since what is technically obese is much smaller than what I am actually thinking of in many cases) milspouses than I do people in the general public, not to say the people I see at walmart/kroger/target aren't milspouses, there are just way more there than at the NEX or commissary.
I do think that because of the high stress lifestyles we live it is far easier to fall into bad habits and turn to comfort food and something I have see with my friends is a constant cycle of eating healthy and being skinny when he is gone then falling into the fat & happy habits when he comes home, its like being in a new secure relationship every time he comes home from deployment.0 -
I Agee there are two types of wives.. But I think some of it has to do with wives being stay at home moms... And then they tend to more to hide there emotions. I know of some wives who sit and ***** about the skinny wives like they jealous that the skinny women take care of themselves and try and make themselves better. Yes an army wife may be a hard job if you have kids and the husband is deployed. For me I have two kids (3yrs and 1yr old) and a brand new 12 week old puppy. I work full time and still find time to learn to cook, work out, spend time with my kids and keep my house clean. You need to push yourself to be better.. And if you make yourself better then maybe a lot of army wives wouldn't over eat.0
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No, I don't think so. With three military moves and grad school, this kept me busy all the time. I felt like I needed to resort to food to make me feel better, but I knew that would add to the stress. Personally, it deals with how people manage stress and time. I guess I like to know the area around me instead of staying in the house. I have seen wives that take their children out for exercise while they sit and talk. That is an opportunity to get up and move. So, it all depends on the mindset of the person.0
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To me no, we make our own choices. My weight gain was a health issue. Nothing to do with the military or the lifestyle. I've seen wives that fit into both things you mentions, however I've seen lots of others too. I am "skinny/fit" according to many. I don't want/need any man's attention, though I enjoy the attention my husband gives me. I love my husband and find that filling my time with important things is better than a food binge or being down cause my husband left again for his job. Its his job, I support him but I have my jobs too. Taking care of myself is one of them.0
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