any gay parents out there?

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Replies

  • TweedleDebo
    TweedleDebo Posts: 423 Member
    I have an 11 yr old son and an 8 yr old daughter from previous relationships with men. My girlfriend shares the responsiblity of raising them with me. Their fathers are in their lives. Let me tell you, it's interesting for sure. My children don't care that we are together. My son thinks of her as a friend, not just "mom's girlfriend". My daughter says that she is lucky because she has 3 moms: me, my girlfriend and her stepmom at her dad's house. I got a ring last week, not a proposal, just a right hand ring and my daughter's reaction was, "Does that mean that y'all are getting married?!" I told her no and she replied with "Dang it! I want y'all to hurry up and get married already. We can go somewhere so you can do it for real and I want to be your bridesmaid!" We live in South Carolina, so not only can we not get married here, but about half of the population is NOT okay with it. However, the kids both have friends come over to spend the night all of the time & I am completely up front with their parents that we are a lesbian couple and that I want to be sure that they are okay with that beforehand. So far I have yet to have one parent change their mind about letting their child spend the night with us or go places with us.

    On the bright side, I am happier than I have ever been. My gf and I both have excellent government jobs (she's a cop!) and we are completely out to anyone that asks. I actually have our family portrait sitting on my desk for all to see. The kids go to public school and are involved in recreational sports. All of the teachers & admin at school are on a first name basis with us and I was actually named Parent of the Week twice within the past 6 months. My gf was asked to help coach her T-ball team 2 years ago.

    It isn't all rainbows and smiles, though. The general public will get to you if you let them. We hear ridicule everywhere that we go from complete strangers and my own cousin turned me away from the church that we grew up in together. Her husband is the pastor now and she informed me that if I brought my kids there that they would be taught that I am a sinner and that they should be praying for me to change my lifestyle. Needless to say we will NEVER step foot in that church again. We have a church now that is wonderful & the pastor is totally fine with our family. I also catch it quite often from the dads. My daughter tells me constantly that when she is at his house that he talks badly about me and my gf, i.e. that she shouldn't live with us because we are gay. He actually accused me of trying to make her a lesbian. I have learned to just let it roll off of my back like water on a duck. He doesn't realize that he isn't hurting me. He is only hurting his relationship with his daughter. My son has been taught at his dad's house that I am a sinner and I am going to Hell because it says so in The Bible. That is why it is so important to me to show him that not every person of faith is against us.

    Wow...sorry for writing so much. Once I get started on this subject I can't stop.

    So, for the ones that do have kids: You will have good days & bad, but you have to keep your head up, be proud of the amazingly fearful person that you are and raise open-minded, accepting & loving children. For the ones of you that don't: Do not EVER let society place fear upon your heart. You are as deserving as any other human being to have children.

    :heart:
  • My son just turned 3 and I always wondered how I would explain it to him and how he would handle his mom being gay...this makes me feel much better! Thanks!
  • brayaddie
    brayaddie Posts: 101 Member
    My partner & I have (my) 6 year old to a previous same-sex relationship & our daughter (18 mos) & our son (1 mos) Life is happy being Gay!! My son says I went to school and had to tell about my family & when I said I had two moms a little boy in school said "No you can't have two moms!) my son proudly said " I do!" I agree with another poster here, The more we educate people about "us" the more accepting it will be!!! Feel free to add me!
  • mm2two
    mm2two Posts: 10
    I am the parent of a 4.5 year old. I adopted as a single person and continue to fly solo. I am hoping to adopt a second child sometime within the next year...it's totally a work in progress. My daughter has several partnered folks in her life, including one godmother and one godfather (one was not partnered at the time of her baptism, the other is married to an agnostic Jew). She talks about her godparents and their partners all the time at school and so far everything has been great. Her teacher is very open to the diversity of living situations in the classroom - and there is enormous diversity...being a single lesbian parent is among the simple situations!

    I can't imagine life without my daughter and hope my second comes to us soon!
  • thekarens
    thekarens Posts: 254 Member
    My wife and I have been together 12 years. We have 2 boys, one just turned 17 and the other will be 20 in May. We are eagerly looking forward to child free days :)

    LOL Already started measuring up their rooms for the conversion have you Karen?

    We actually downsized after the kids left home but now that they have families of their own we find that we overflow into the 'Bed and Breakfast' next door when everyone comes for occasions like Christmas.

    Del

    As a matter of fact, yes, we are :) We were just discussing that our eldest boy''s room would make a great exercise room. Right now we have a gym membership, but when he finishes college (2 more years) and has a place of his own....... Of course, we'll have to get a shovel to actually get in there in the first place! :)
  • novelty79
    novelty79 Posts: 11 Member
    I have an almost 3 year old son with my ex partner. We were together for 6 years, and separated about a year ago. We are getting better at co-parenting day by day :) Anyone that might have experience with this, I would love to hear from you!
  • My partner has a 15 and a half year old son.. yes the half is important because he just got his drivers permit. :) We've been together almost 6 years, before me she was with another woman for 9 years and with his dad before that. In some respects we are very lucky.. we live in the bay area so gay parenting just isn't an issue really, his dad is active in his life and has always been great about support even when he's been out of work.

    It's funny considering where we live, but all of his friends are totally ok with the "gay" thing, but he gets irritated when people ask him about his mom and if anything he steers away from the topic. He doesn't want anything to do with anything that is going to separate him from the norm right now. I think he's a little over sensitive to peer pressure and has unfortunately made some questionable decisions.

    We are in a good place now.. it's not easy, but it's stable after dealing with girls and drugs and ADHD and issues at school. He's finally starting to settle in. He spends the majority of his time when he's not at school at a mixed martial arts gym getting ready to start competing or working with our 4 month old Pit Bull puppy.
  • mSquared77
    mSquared77 Posts: 47 Member
    I'm a proud daddy to two boys ages 8 and 5. I was meant to be a dad, and they are by far my best attribute. =)
  • My partner and I have 4 children (I had them in a previous marriage and they live with their father) ages 15, 13, 8, and 7 - They love us together and we raise them together with their father and stepmother. It is not all peaches.There have been some hard times - never the first and won't be the last, but we manage as a family ;)

    We also have 2 Dogs - Rocky, Shyanne, 1 Puppy - Storm, 3 Cats - Jr, Chico, Dakota , and 2 Kittens - Chloe, and Zoe

    Full HOUSE!
  • Panaru
    Panaru Posts: 36 Member
    I am Bi and transgender (ftm) and have two kids. (2 1/2 and 8 months, both boys!) I Look like a women and act like a man but my kids don't ever seem to care!
    Their father is also Bi so we are one odd family.. Sometimes I wish I were just born a man so people would not be so freaked out..
    Sadly more people are upset knowing your transgender with kids then gay! I don't know why but I guess it's just hard for most people to get.
    I let my first son call my daddy a long time till his grandmother got really upset over it. Then we had our Peds saying they thought it was bad for him to call me that. Before I knew it I almost had to worry about them wanting to get the state involved..
    It has been a very long road for us dealing with it and kids. I just don't tell people anymore and look the part of a mom to keep people from freaking out about it.
    But my kids are "normal" I think. My older son like everything from toy story to hello kitty! I let his pick what he wants and don't judge him or tell him "this is for girls only" I try to let them be them and remember that liking Pink or Blue does not define who your are.
    I get lots of slack over toys I let them have too.. I let my son have a snow white baby doll for Christmas and people about shat bricks over it. Huhh.. Some days it is hard but I tell myself he will grow up knowing who he really is and wants to be and that's what matters! Gender rolls suck and I try hard to keep my kids free from them.
  • serenity920
    serenity920 Posts: 31 Member
    My partner and I have 4 kids (10, 10, 6 and 4). I carried the twins and she carried the other 2 (I'm more efficient and knocked mine out in one pregnancy:) ).

    Thats hysterical.... My wife says that as well if your having more than oone be efficient and do it at once!!!
    However i did it the old fashioned way - one at a time. Our Boys are 21, 19 and 9 and I sometime get an emply nest-ish feeling, but I comr to my senses. I will wait for granddaughters(not for another decade please!!!!)
  • ResilientWoman
    ResilientWoman Posts: 440 Member
    I have an 11 yr old son and an 8 yr old daughter from previous relationships with men. My girlfriend shares the responsiblity of raising them with me. Their fathers are in their lives. Let me tell you, it's interesting for sure. My children don't care that we are together. My son thinks of her as a friend, not just "mom's girlfriend". My daughter says that she is lucky because she has 3 moms: me, my girlfriend and her stepmom at her dad's house. I got a ring last week, not a proposal, just a right hand ring and my daughter's reaction was, "Does that mean that y'all are getting married?!" I told her no and she replied with "Dang it! I want y'all to hurry up and get married already. We can go somewhere so you can do it for real and I want to be your bridesmaid!" We live in South Carolina, so not only can we not get married here, but about half of the population is NOT okay with it. However, the kids both have friends come over to spend the night all of the time & I am completely up front with their parents that we are a lesbian couple and that I want to be sure that they are okay with that beforehand. So far I have yet to have one parent change their mind about letting their child spend the night with us or go places with us.

    On the bright side, I am happier than I have ever been. My gf and I both have excellent government jobs (she's a cop!) and we are completely out to anyone that asks. I actually have our family portrait sitting on my desk for all to see. The kids go to public school and are involved in recreational sports. All of the teachers & admin at school are on a first name basis with us and I was actually named Parent of the Week twice within the past 6 months. My gf was asked to help coach her T-ball team 2 years ago.

    It isn't all rainbows and smiles, though. The general public will get to you if you let them. We hear ridicule everywhere that we go from complete strangers and my own cousin turned me away from the church that we grew up in together. Her husband is the pastor now and she informed me that if I brought my kids there that they would be taught that I am a sinner and that they should be praying for me to change my lifestyle. Needless to say we will NEVER step foot in that church again. We have a church now that is wonderful & the pastor is totally fine with our family. I also catch it quite often from the dads. My daughter tells me constantly that when she is at his house that he talks badly about me and my gf, i.e. that she shouldn't live with us because we are gay. He actually accused me of trying to make her a lesbian. I have learned to just let it roll off of my back like water on a duck. He doesn't realize that he isn't hurting me. He is only hurting his relationship with his daughter. My son has been taught at his dad's house that I am a sinner and I am going to Hell because it says so in The Bible. That is why it is so important to me to show him that not every person of faith is against us.

    Wow...sorry for writing so much. Once I get started on this subject I can't stop.

    So, for the ones that do have kids: You will have good days & bad, but you have to keep your head up, be proud of the amazingly fearful person that you are and raise open-minded, accepting & loving children. For the ones of you that don't: Do not EVER let society place fear upon your heart. You are as deserving as any other human being to have children.

    :heart:

    Huge hugs! I'm from New Orleans, I lived in North Carolina and Georgia. I know South Carolina well. You inspire me. Nice to read such an open and authentic post.

    Single *kitten* mom to one amazing 6 yo daughter.
    RW
  • My partner and I have been together for 9 1/2 years and we have 4 adopted boys ages 2, 4, 6, and 9. They are biological brothers and they have filled a part of my life that was always missing. I was meant to be a dad and I'm loving every minute. I want to get healthy for my boys.
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,345 Member
    I am a pansexual single mother of a 3 year old little boy.

    I havent brought my son into any relationship with me yet other then his father (my ex) but i hope when or if the time rises he will be as open minded as his mommy because thats how I am raising him to be. :o)
  • ideliver
    ideliver Posts: 114 Member
    So great to see so many lgbt-led families out there! My partner and I have an 18-month-old and are starting the process to adopt again. Like many, parenthood has not been very good for the waistline, so I'm determined to start my 30's on the right foot!
  • I turned 30 last year and we adopted our boys last year. I can't believe how much weight I put on once the kids arrived.
  • whgk11
    whgk11 Posts: 2
    i hate when people ask which one is the mom. my wife and i just say we both are we dnt tell people who the birth mom is.
  • Hi,
    My Partner & I,have will have been together 14yrs on April 22nd,we are lesbian parents.I had my son in a previous engagement,but we are raising him together.He will be 14 on April 8th.I am his Mom,& she is his Ms.Tracy,she plays the role of his Father..who is deceased now,but was never a part of his life (by choice) anyway.He says she is a Wom_Man! haha,she is everything a Father should be plus more.The only real challenges we have faced as a "gay" family,is that we live in a very small town in Western Kentucky,and it is like this.We are very proud of who and what we are,and will not lie if confronted,but we keep it on the down low for our son's sake.I mean people here I know must know,but it is just not talked about ya know.We have just never wanted other parents to keep their child from being friends with our child,because of us.So as parents,we try and make the right choices for our son.Thus far things are good,never any problems.We are currently feeling differently though,and just feel that it is so unfair that our son can not openly & freely be proud of his parents,the same way other children are proud of their parents! So,this is an issue we are currently dealing with...haha.
  • Lisacherryiceuk
    Lisacherryiceuk Posts: 7 Member
    I have two kids (with my ex husband ) and have been with my partner 5 years my kids are 12 and 7 and they get picked on :( so hard
  • lulukan
    lulukan Posts: 76 Member
    I am a mom to a 14 year old boy, a 21 year old girl and 24 year old girl. :) I am bisexual and they love me just as I am.
  • ktpurry
    ktpurry Posts: 4 Member
    My mommys have been together 28 years, i'm 19 and was a sperm donation baby from a bank.
    I've never had any issues growing up with gay moms, everyone loves them and if i run into an old friend, they will immediately ask how my moms are, i think they just like saying moms. lol Even my boyfriend that has known my family 7 years still makes harmless lesbian moms comments (:
    Both my moms are butch, and have told me we have a few family members we no longer talk to because they called me an "it" because i have lesbian mothers raising me.
  • brayaddie
    brayaddie Posts: 101 Member
    kypurry, that is sad :mad: :sad: that you are refered to as an "it" child, as if you had a decision in your making. I always hoped that my (our) children will always be accepted & loved! Good Luck to you!
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,345 Member
    I am pansexual and I have a 3 year old son.

    At the moment I am a single mommy.

    HOWEVER i have not had a girlfriend since before I got prego with my son.

    I do hope that it if was to happen in the future that my son would grow up to b understanding and accepting as that is how I am teaching him to be.
  • leodru
    leodru Posts: 321 Member
    hey - gay Dad here as well. Two kids actually both girls. I started working out with them back in October. In better shape now but weight's not dropping off like i'd like it to. Take it as it comes!
  • ymug2001
    ymug2001 Posts: 41 Member
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: How cute! that she calls your wife her "bonus mom" It must be an amazing feeling
    I have a daughter who's 7, and who calls my wife her "bonus mom".
    We're in the process of having a child together now, that my wife will carry.

    I have never had any problems with being a gay parent, but then again I live in Scandinavia, and society here is really just very liberal when it come to homosexuality. No one in school or in the neighbourhood as ever said anything negative to my daughter, most people don't seem to notice that we're different.
  • ymug2001
    ymug2001 Posts: 41 Member
    Hearing your experience helps me a lot in all the questions I have about how my daughter might react. Thank you for sharing:smile:
  • ymug2001
    ymug2001 Posts: 41 Member
    Hearing your experience helps me a lot in all the questions I have about how my daughter might react. Thank you for sharing
    My mommys have been together 28 years, i'm 19 and was a sperm donation baby from a bank.
    I've never had any issues growing up with gay moms, everyone loves them and if i run into an old friend, they will immediately ask how my moms are, i think they just like saying moms. lol Even my boyfriend that has known my family 7 years still makes harmless lesbian moms comments (:
    Both my moms are butch, and have told me we have a few family members we no longer talk to because they called me an "it" because i have lesbian mothers raising me.
  • woodsk67
    woodsk67 Posts: 88
    I have no kids, but reading the post about your families has made my day! Congrats to all of you!
  • psportelli
    psportelli Posts: 2
    My partner and I adopted our son when he was just two days old. We took him home from the hospital on Christmas day 2007. It has been the best thing in the world for us. Obviously being a parent, either gay or straight, has it's own challenges but the love you give and receive is priceless. So far, I have found all the parents of my son's preschool very supportive (at least superficially). Watching our son grow and learn and helping him on his journey is the most rewarding and fulfilling job as a parent and it out weighs any other the challenges.
  • hi my gf and myself bring up her 17 month old daughter,her x has her two boys she see them whenever she wants,my only personal feeling are that there better off with there mother,dont get me wrong but he has a new girlfriend and i feel there now an inconvince to his new girlfriend now.
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