Is it entirely my fault I'm overweight? I don't think so. I blame the French,

It's not difficult to see the conspiracy if you look at the historical record. From the earliest days of the American Republic, French influence on our diet has steadily increased. Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin spent time in France and helped popularize French food and wine in our nascent country. Jefferson, as President, often served French Vanilla ice cream on pound cake as dessert at White House dinners (that invariably featured French wines). Some sources also credit Jefferson for popularizing French fries. Who knows how many inches around our collective midsection are directly attributable to French fries?

Today, you just have to turn on the TV to see the diabolical French influence on our diet. Food shows are among the most popular on TV. Again, I blame the French!

Many have heard of Julia Child, "The French Chef" , but most are unaware of the background of the famous Foodie. During the Second World War she was a spy for the OSS, the precursor of the CIA. After the war she infiltrated PBS and began the trend of food tv shows that culminated with the creation of entire networks devoted to food.

So, it can't possibly be MY fault, I'm overweight. I'm just a victim of the diabolical French and their relentless crusade to take over the world through their delicious cuisine. They know if they can get the rest of us fat enough they will be able to finally realize Napoleon's great ambition of world conquest.

We have to stop the French from taking over the world one waistline at a time. Reject silken, butter-topped, French toast for breakfast! Refuse baskets of warm crusty French bread with your lunch salad. And when they ask, "Do you want Fries with that?" say, Non!

Hell Non!