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Friendzone with the Ex

kaswain
kaswain Posts: 80 Member
in Social Groups
Well I have been a part of this group for a while but never posted because I was working on "being friends" with my ex and of course we were talking about "working on things" to get back together. Howerver, here I am still single after having to tell my ex (6 year relationship) that we can no longer talk, try and be friends, or be in eachother's lives in general. It has been a rough week but we have been broken up for a while now and it is mostly just letting go of the friendship aspect of the relationship. So here I am ready to jump back on the bandwagon of getting out there and dating!! Wish me luck, so scary!

Replies

  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Yeah, jump on in!! Its good to see you smiling, breakups are not pleasant :flowerforyou:

    Oh, and good luck!! You'll learn a lot from the peeps here, good and bad! :wink:
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Ugh the we can be still be friends bit is ususlly the worst part!

    Welcome to singledom!
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Ugh the we can be still be friends bit is ususlly the worst part!

    Welcome to singledom!

    Nugget!!! Why have you hidden your profile?? :laugh:
  • kaswain
    kaswain Posts: 80 Member
    Oh yes, trust me I learned this one the hard way!
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    OMGosh...this is completely the story of my life.... (relationship of 3 years)...I gave him the option of allowing him to be friends/just remain neutral with me...and he failed at that when we wanted to start drama....So altogether I gave up that idea and I am now ready to day (its been 9 months since we broke up)....The other part to this is that I have never been on a date as a single person (since I only had one boyfriend ever) so...its so nerve wrecking...I just dont know what to do. :grumble:
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I suspect it is similar to what a person told me 25 years ago.
    Don`t ever go back to a job you didn`t like and walked away from,the reasons for that are still going to be there.

    If there are children then that creates an issue of contact but if not I would think as quickly as a person can walk away looking forward the better for them.
  • nammer79
    nammer79 Posts: 664 Member
    sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't but either way you are free to explore the new single world get out there and go wild :devil:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    You made the right decision. Stick with it. Best wishes!
  • kaswain
    kaswain Posts: 80 Member
    OMGosh...this is completely the story of my life.... (relationship of 3 years)...I gave him the option of allowing him to be friends/just remain neutral with me...and he failed at that when we wanted to start drama....So altogether I gave up that idea and I am now ready to day (its been 9 months since we broke up)....The other part to this is that I have never been on a date as a single person (since I only had one boyfriend ever) so...its so nerve wrecking...I just dont know what to do. :grumble:

    You are so right, this is exactly my story also. First serious relationship, friendship kept causing arguments and hurt feelings, I haven't "dated" since high school, and we broke almost 9 months ago (last August).
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Ugh the we can be still be friends bit is ususlly the worst part!

    Welcome to singledom!

    Nugget!!! Why have you hidden your profile?? :laugh:

    Crazy stalker girl. I deleted her then made my profile private. Lol
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Oh yes, trust me I learned this one the hard way!

    I am friends now with some of exes but it nearly always doesn't work straight away.. It's taken years with some of them. Some of them I won't ever talk to again lol
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Oh yes, trust me I learned this one the hard way!

    I am friends now with some of exes but it nearly always doesn't work straight away.. It's taken years with some of them. Some of them I won't ever talk to again lol

    I always like to remain in contact (unless he was a complete freak/psycho/loser) but most guys dont like/can't handle it. And their new g/f's can't handle it either!! So eventually the tie is broken :cry:
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
    It doesnt work and nor should you try unless there is kids involved. If you try then you are just screwing over yoourself and the new guy you fall for. It is always going to be drama if you keep him in your life. Do you realy think he wants to meet or hear about a new guy doing the things he used to do with you. NOOOO, he doesnt. Its not healthy for either of you, end it and cherish the past but dont live in it, move on and take the things you learned with you and make a better love life. its not good for exs to hang out when they have a new person in their lives, so many times those feelings and chemistry come back in an instant and bam, cheating (yes, kissing is cheating) and the new person is hurt. DOnt do it.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    Crazy stalker girl. I deleted her then made my profile private. Lol
    WTF!!!
    I don't even have my own stalker. That's the true measure of success!
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    Crazy stalker girl. I deleted her then made my profile private. Lol
    WTF!!!
    I don't even have my own stalker. That's the true measure of success!

    She only wanted me for my arms... Which aren't even impressive. Few wires crossed that girl haha
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    I actually was able to remain friends with mine. But I think it helps that we live in different states, lol. Her being in CA and I in WA.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Crazy stalker girl. I deleted her then made my profile private. Lol
    WTF!!!
    I don't even have my own stalker. That's the true measure of success!

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • kaswain
    kaswain Posts: 80 Member
    Thanks everyone for the feedback and advice. No kids or anything else that forces us to be in contact so I'm walking away with a clean slate.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 992 Member
    Thanks everyone for the feedback and advice. No kids or anything else that forces us to be in contact so I'm walking away with a clean slate.

    Sometimes that's for the best. It's easy to want to hold onto a relationship that meant so much, someone you know so well and who knows you so well, but trust me, even if you're broken up, it's hard to hear about new relationships and such. Clean slates can be so much better.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    It doesn't work for most people, but my ex is actually still my best friend. We kinda had to make it work because of our lease. It's been just over a year (broke up April 19 last year) and we still hang out and stuff, and yes, we still live together, ha. Oh, and no, nothing like that going on at all! Promise! :laugh: We're completely and utterly friend zoned for each other :tongue:
  • MyTime1985
    MyTime1985 Posts: 456 Member
    Welcome to the dark side. :smile:
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I was in the same boat for a long time so I understand. It's been about 2 months since I've had contact with my ex. There are still little things that come up that I would love to talk to him about, but I don't. This group has given me something else to focus on when I feel down about it.

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