Odd Standards?
TheKitsune6
Posts: 5,798 Member
So I was talking to this one guy that I was fairly interested in, and had even agreed to meet him once things had settled down (this month is going to be crazy). However a few days ago he mentioned that his dog was having some complications. I said that he should take the dog to the vet... he responded that he had work in a hour so he would wait to see if the dog would be better by tomorrow.
That initially really put me off, but I tried to dismiss it. The next day I asked about his dog again and he said he was having the same issues but he has work so the dog will have to wait.
Almost immediately I checked out. I might be a big time animal person, but I think when you get an animal that includes responsibility (actually taking care of the animal). It seemed like the excuses for not taking the dog to the very were lame. You can drop your dog off and go to work, then pick him up after. Or, I don't know, call in late. Bosses usually understand stuff like that.
So anyway... I'm not interested in this guy anymore because at best he's irresponsible about the life of a living creature. That's a big deal for me. Obviously my mind isn't going to change but I thought it would be interesting to hear other peoples thoughts. Does this seem like a crazy lady move, or does it make sense?
PS: The dog is fine now. I asked about it again and he said whatever it was cleared up.
PPS: I'm not looking for validation either, I really am just interested in other peoples thoughts.
That initially really put me off, but I tried to dismiss it. The next day I asked about his dog again and he said he was having the same issues but he has work so the dog will have to wait.
Almost immediately I checked out. I might be a big time animal person, but I think when you get an animal that includes responsibility (actually taking care of the animal). It seemed like the excuses for not taking the dog to the very were lame. You can drop your dog off and go to work, then pick him up after. Or, I don't know, call in late. Bosses usually understand stuff like that.
So anyway... I'm not interested in this guy anymore because at best he's irresponsible about the life of a living creature. That's a big deal for me. Obviously my mind isn't going to change but I thought it would be interesting to hear other peoples thoughts. Does this seem like a crazy lady move, or does it make sense?
PS: The dog is fine now. I asked about it again and he said whatever it was cleared up.
PPS: I'm not looking for validation either, I really am just interested in other peoples thoughts.
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Replies
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It will depend on what the actual situation was.
Is the animal suffering or in a life threatening situation or just off its feed?
If the former then yes it is callous,if the latter then no,you have over reached in your mind unfairly.
More details are needed to sort it out.0 -
I'm a crazy dog lady, too. It only seems over the top because the dog is supposedly fine now. You never know what is wrong with them. I had a dog that died suddenly at 6 years old. She seemed fine, a little off, but nothing serious. I still regret that I took her the next day even though the vet doesn't even know what happened and if it would have mattered.
It's a major turn off for me if someone doesn't take care of their pets. And also upsets me when someone doesn't fix their animal or thinks it's cute to breed them for fun. But that's another subject. I volunteered in rescue too long.
If it warranted bringing up, then the dog should have gone to the vet. And my vet opened very early so when I did have to work I could drop the dog off in the morning and they would call me to let me know what was up and pick her up when I was on my way home. Unless he was using his dog as an excuse to get out of something....who knows? Not cool though and the dog may or may not be fine depending on the problem0 -
It will depend on what the actual situation was.
Is the animal suffering or in a life threatening situation or just off its feed?
If the former then yes it is callous,if the latter then no,you have over reached in your mind unfairly.
More details are needed to sort it out.
The dog was severely constipated and was yelping when he tried to excrete.0 -
It's a major turn off for me if someone doesn't take care of their pets. And also upsets me when someone doesn't fix their animal or thinks it's cute to breed them for fun. But that's another subject. I volunteered in rescue too long.
I totally agree with this.0 -
It will depend on what the actual situation was.
Is the animal suffering or in a life threatening situation or just off its feed?
If the former then yes it is callous,if the latter then no,you have over reached in your mind unfairly.
More details are needed to sort it out.
The dog was severely constipated and was yelping when he tried to excrete.
That is terrible. He should think about what it would be like to be in serious pain and need to poop. Dogs eat stuff they shouldn't and there could be a perforation or a blockage. My dog that passed away swallowed all the gauze from a wrap on her paw when I first got her (despite a cone) and had to have intestinal surgery. It's very serious if they get a blockage in there, unless he saw an offending item actually come out and knew that was why he couldn't go...I don't know, I would want to make sure there was nothing twisted in there.0 -
It will depend on what the actual situation was.
Is the animal suffering or in a life threatening situation or just off its feed?
If the former then yes it is callous,if the latter then no,you have over reached in your mind unfairly.
More details are needed to sort it out.
The dog was severely constipated and was yelping when he tried to excrete.
That is terrible. He should think about what it would be like to be in serious pain and need to poop. Dogs eat stuff they shouldn't and there could be a perforation or a blockage. My dog that passed away swallowed all the gauze from a wrap on her paw when I first got her (despite a cone) and had to have intestinal surgery. It's very serious if they get a blockage in there, unless he saw an offending item actually come out and knew that was why he couldn't go...I don't know, I would want to make sure there was nothing twisted in there.
Yeah, that's why it bothered me so much - it's lucky that it cleared up on it's own, but there was no indication that it WASN'T serious. It's not like he was limping on and off or something like that :<0 -
This is an emotion filled,hot button issue so nothing at this point short of what you think should have been will be accepted.
When I was 11 I spent a week on a couch with a 104 degree fever,that was in 1975 and parents "doctored" me as was the norm for the time.
Obviously I recovered but now many would scream abuse but if it was ever an actual emergency they would have reacted accordingly.
My point is that if the dog was doing its business but with discomfort it is different then one not at all and constantly showing pain.
The first to some will mean an instant vet visit and to others concern but to see if it gets better in a day or so.
Neither is inherently wrong or evil.0 -
All depends on what was wrong. Stomach issue and a little gas? no real issue.
This coming from someone who owns a pet supply store.0 -
FYI, in that situation, give the dog some pumpkin.It will depend on what the actual situation was.
Is the animal suffering or in a life threatening situation or just off its feed?
If the former then yes it is callous,if the latter then no,you have over reached in your mind unfairly.
More details are needed to sort it out.
The dog was severely constipated and was yelping when he tried to excrete.0 -
is this the same guy you were hesitant about meeting because you were always too busy? i think you just werent into the guy and the dog thing was just a reason to end it0
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is this the same guy you were hesitant about meeting because you were always too busy? i think you just werent into the guy and the dog thing was just a reason to end it
No, different guy0 -
It might just be how you characterized it. Because he could be a very experienced dog person and know that most of the time, the dog was fine a day or two later. If it really was, he didn't know and he was too busy, then yes, I'd have an issue.
I believe you can learn a lot from how a person treats other people and yes, animals. I always pay attention to how the lady I'm dating treats waiters, check out clerks, etc. It basically ends up being how they treat me once we settle into something long-term.0 -
I would have lost interest too.0
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It freaks me out to have a pet, because I don't understand these things and I wouldn't know how to react.
Still, I'm assuming I'd be a bit shocked and would say to the guy "Wow, can't you arrive one hour later or wake up one hour earlier to drop the dog?".
That said, vet is not free I suspect, so maybe he's got financial troubles?0 -
I, too, would have lost interest...if you have a pet, you assume responsibility for that pet.........very simple.0
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I think its a judgement call and the guy was right in not panicking/wasting money/ taking time off work.
You know you're very sensitive to animal issues, which is cool, but that doesn't make him less sensitive. Or cruel. Or unkind. Or irresponsible. It just makes him the owner of a pet that has acknowledged there's a problem, has called on his experience to deal with the problem and has made the right decision. I think you're judging him too harshly.
EG. My neighbours dog cries and whines and barks furiously every time she puts him in the yard. Sounds like the dog is being battered and burnt or something. The RSPCA (prevention of cruelty to animals) was called. Turns out, the dog is so spoilt it doesnt like being outside on its own for 5 minutes.
All I'm saying is give the guy some credit for being a pet owner. YOUR way is not necessarily the ONLY way :flowerforyou:
ETA: Obviously I only know this with hindsight, so can understand your (over) reaction at the time.........0 -
Hmm. This is a tough one, but only because of the cause to the dog's discomfort. Normally, I would completely agree with you and go on my merry way. I don't condone animal neglect or abuse... or any form of irresponsibility revolving around animals. But, to be fair, only the dog's owner can truly know the dog. Maybe this is a problem s/he has had in the past and it's something the dog has gotten over fairly quickly. Also, there are numerous ways to induce pooping (like pumpkin, which was suggested earlier.)
For example, my dog has had pooping issues for her entire life. If she gets constipated and whines and whimpers when she tries to poop, it's only a concern if it lasts more than 2-3 days. She eats weird things and has poor reactions to raw bones. I've made the mistake of taking her to the vet from the get-go twice and ended up paying $600 total for x-rays and things that were complete unnecessary in the end. Now, when she ran head-first into a tree and started screaming bloody murder, then I took her to the vet immediately. After working with 150+ dogs for over 2 years (at dog boarding/daycare facility), I've learned that most dogs just get over it. They are a lot tougher than most people perceive them to be and (depending the breed) they are capable of surviving more situations than most humans without professional help/care. They are resilient creatures.
Now, I will agree that "I have to work" is no excuse when there is cause for real concern. But it's really hard to judge a person's relationship with his/her dog after just meeting them. The owner knows the dog's medical history -- you do not.0 -
First of all, he's a man and he thinks differently than you. Women are naturally just more nurturing than men. When I was a kid and I'd come home with a broken arm or a sprained ankle my mom would always want to take me to the doctor but my dad would just say to rub some dirt on it.
And when I first became a dog owner I'd freak out anytime something little would happen to him. Most of the time I'd throw a ball and he'd some back liming and whining and literally 2 seconds later he'd be totally fine. I've also taken time off work and spent hundreds of dollars at the vet just to have them say that everything looked fine and he got better in a couple days. These days I just call my vet and most of the time he tells me if he's not better in a couple days to bring him in.
So it doesn't necessarily mean that he's a bad or irresponsible owner, sometimes you just have to make a judgement call.0
