Need to vent!
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ymug2001
Posts: 41 Member
As I had mentioned in another post recently, just a few months ago I told my sister that I was in a relationship with a girl and this brough a lot of probles between us. Today I received 14 text messeges from her (my sister) telling me how I am such a bad mom for even thinking of doing this to my daughter and how she wishes to tell someone about this so they can help my daughter, I'm not hurting her! I feel really stressed out having my school finals and having to deal with her!:explode:
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So sorry to hear about this. Number one: Do not internalize what she is saying!!!
I am not out to some of my family members because I know this kind of judgment would occur. Especially sad do hear they are so ignorant about the impact of having LGBT parents. All I can say is to try to take the high road and rise above. I always find killing with kindness is the best way to prove someone wrong, and living well is the best revenge.
Good luck on your schoolwork and feel free to message me if you would like to chat!0 -
Thank you!0
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Too often, our families tell us that their main objection to our "lifestyle" is that we'll get hurt or our children will get hurt. And too often, the most hurt we and our families endure is from the family members who say they want to prevent that hurt. Their children can't come to our weddings, they ask us to hide from the older generation, they say we are harming our children, they talk about "family" as if it doesn't describe who or what we are, who or what we value.
I'm sorry that your sister can't get on board, and can't stop piling on the hurt.
Only you know what kind of mother you are, and you are capable of figuring out whether the person you're dating causes harm to your family. I wish you the best as you navigate this. It's funny, our children are the most capable of being open to understanding love and understanding who we are, and are the least likely to suffer any ill effects of us being ourselves and being happy.
Living well is indeed the best revenge!0 -
remind your sister than male-female relationships are the leading cause of gay kids being born0
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Thank you for your advice! It makes me feel better0
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remind your sister than male-female relationships are the leading cause of gay kids being born
LOL! Oh my... that cracked me up... I need to use that one...
But as for the OP- it is sad that your sis cannot love and support you but it is worse that she then tries the "bad mom" thing. Some of the best parents I have ever seen are my very good friends who are lesbian. Both the son and daughter grew up in a loving yet firm household and are wonderful young adults now.
But I agree dont internalize it, and if you have to limit contact with your sister- dont let a psychic vampire feed off your emotions and drain you and make you miserable. Life is to short to be surrounded or have to deal with miserable, small minded people whether they are strangers, friends or family. Just go be happy for yourself!0 -
It is painful to recieve negative messages from your sister about your lifestyle and the affect it could have on your child. However, your sister is not responsible for your childs well being, nor is she responsible for your happiness. Only you carry those responsibilities. As a result, regardless of opinions, you are the last word on how you live your life. Follow your instincts, follow your heart. Your child will know your heart and will feel your love and that is all that is required.
Many straight couples hurt their children everyday by deciding to divorce, being in domestic violence situations, and on and on. However, would anyone in this day and age expect a woman to stay in an abusive or loveless marriage "for the children"? No, so why should you hide who you are and live a loveless life? You shouldn't.
Your sister loves you and she'll come around. Even if she doesn't, you'll be happy, you'll have self-respect, and that is worth way more than her approval.0 -
Thank you! All your support helps me a lot!
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Been there, done that! My boys were about 5 and 8 when my partner and I got together. I had enough and had to cut out a couple people until they got over themselves. Some times a little distance and time is the best answer. Your sister has had her chance to give her .02 now it's time that she give it a rest and if I were you I'd tell her so.
Of course, I'm older and one of the advantages of being older is you start to care a whole lot less what people think!0 -
As a psychotherapist and social worker, I can tell you that you are modeling appropriate behavior for your daughter by being open and honest about who you are, and accepting yourself with love and respect.
You can tell your sister that you heard from a social worker that in no way is being in a relationship with another woman harmful to your child, and that she (your sister) is likely the one who should be seeking help.0 -
I did finally tell her that I love her but she needs to respect my decisions and of course she was not happy at all. She told me she was not going to let me ruin my daughter life but I guess that is her problem.0
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Thank you !As a psychotherapist and social worker, I can tell you that you are modeling appropriate behavior for your daughter by being open and honest about who you are, and accepting yourself with love and respect.
You can tell your sister that you heard from a social worker that in no way is being in a relationship with another woman harmful to your child, and that she (your sister) is likely the one who should be seeking help.0 -
Have your sister watch this. A young man's plea to the legislature in Iowa about his parent's family values (2 mom's). Very articulate young man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMLZO-sObzQ
I always encourage others to watch this.
Kasey0 -
Have your sister watch this. A young man's plea to the legislature in Iowa about his parent's family values (2 mom's). Very articulate young man.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMLZO-sObzQ
I always encourage others to watch this.
Kasey
I loved it! Thank you!0
