Dating Disasters/Fails
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MysticMaiden22
Posts: 325 Member
Anyone have any good stories about dates gone awry? Whether something hilarious or embarrassing occurred?
I have tons...
I have tons...
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Replies
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Let's hear 'em!
I'm still laughing at your other story of the 5'4 date who said he was 6'4, who, when his attempt to guilt trip you into kissing him and taking his virginity. I have some stories, but WOW.0 -
Yeah, I got quite a few too!
Already told you about the slim, 33 year old with curly hair who turned into a bald, beer bellied 42 year old :laugh:
Another one is a guy I met at a golf club for afternoon drinks. We had a drink and I suggested we walk round a beautiful lake that was close by. We started to walk and he says "its a bit cold" so I said "oh, i'm ok" then he says "well, my coat is thin and so am I" (he was REALLY skinny) so I said "ok, do you want to go back?" (thinking that he would say no). He said "yes". So we walked back and then he said he should go. Ok says I. So we walk back to cars and I say "nice to meet you, bye" he goes to grab me, I walk away (didnt fancy him AT ALL!!).
Then, that evening he sent me an email asking why I didnt kiss him!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG! :noway:0 -
I had a girl tell me she had cancer once to keep me from moving away...0
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It was the third meetup and our first sort of official date,the first two being lunches.
On Friday I had to call to ask her again for directions to her place as she forgot to send them to me.
Knew that was a bad sign.
Got there and was told that her sister was due in from a trip and we had to pick her up at the airport and that she was a b!tch.
Awkward but was what it was,we went to dinner and that was okay then picked up her sister who I had never met before.
Headed to a bar that was shoulder to shoulder crowded with music so loud you had to scream to be heard.
Sat there ignored for an hour while the two of them talked to each other.
Called her on Monday and asked if we really wanted to do it again and mutually agreed not to.0 -
I copied this from one of my blog entries I wrote last month:
Date #1: The Steroids Guy. I'm pretty sure was married because of the wedding band he wore on his middle finger. Maybe he thought I was stupid. Not to mention the immediate temper tantrum he threw when I beat him at Skeeball. I'm not for that "Let a man win so it doesn't bruise his ego ****." Whatever....I can't help it. I'm good. :-) The topper was the whole I'm gonna take two pieces of cheesecake home and THEN ask you if you want some. And he didn't call to make sure I made it home alright. I'm not sure why but that really loses, not looses points with me.
Date #2: The Cheapie. Asks me to lunch. I decide somewhere nearby...We go to Friendly's. Eat, talk, fun times. Waitress asks if we are finished up and if we would like the bill. His response. "2 checks please." 2 checks. Bloody fu*cking h*ell. My bill was $8.72. I tell my dad this story...his response: "Jesus Christ Nicole, where do you meet these guys? Goodwill?" Thanks Dad....
Date #3: The Drug dealer. Meet and drive to the restaurant. In the car before we walk in...He poses the following question: "Wanna do a bump* before we eat?" My response after I wrap my mind around the fact the someone still uses the word "bump"....ahhh no thanks...I think I'll pass. His rebuttal: "Do you mind if I do one?" I was more surprise that people under the age of 47 say the word bump...awkward to say the least.
Date#4: The Big Boy. Decide to meet at the restaurant. (See I'm getting better and better every time ;-)) We have only exchanged pictures. On the phone, he tells me he went to a co-workers party prior to our dinner and that he wasn't that hungry but he wanted to "feed me" anyway. I liked the sound of that so we meet at a spot that had food and pool so we could do both. Anywho, I get out of the car and he pulls up in his car. I wait in front of the restaurant and as he walks up I realize his pictures are probably at least a year old. And about a 50 pound difference. And no...Not a lighter difference. And before you get the wrong impression, I am a thick girl. And I LOVE chunky, bigger men. I always have. The ones that look like they could just pick me up and toss me around. It makes me feel protected. But I want you to own it. I am a Zumba instructor and I am in pretty decent shape BUT I'm still a thicky thick. I was so bothered by his lack of ownership for the "Big Boy" status. Something I love. Complete and utter turnoff. And for the record, his definition of not being really hungry consisted of him ordering a plate of fried pickles (which I love) and a huge spaghetti chili platter. Which he polished off....
*Bump - Not quite a line of cocaine. Just a little snort. Think Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions.
Enjoy :-)0 -
DANG Morganhcc!0
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Here's a "condensed recap" of a mass email I sent my gfs after this date:
Met this guy from POF after work one day. Had a bunch of happy hour drinks and food and talked and laughed and stuff. I was having a great time and he was too. We're pretty comfy with each other and by the 3rd hour, he put my leg on his lap and was kind of rubbing my ankle. Then around 9pm I see this woman come into the place alone..she walks over to us and rubs Peter's shoulder and says Hi to him and kisses him on the lips and asks if he's eaten dinner yet, all intimate like. O_o The *kitten*? My freaking leg was still on his leg as they kissed! WTF? He says yea and she says she'll be at the bar ordering some food then. She leaves us and both my legs now firmly on my side of the table, I look at him and ask, "a friend of yours?" to which he doesn't really give a clear answer. He kept the conversation going but I had already mentally checked out because WTF!? some girl just kissed him on the lips! I don't greet my guy friends that way, do you?
She comes back to our table again later and leans in to kiss him again but this time he turned his head and so she ended up kissing his cheek....long and lingering. Awkward. Then she says, "I just ordered some food, did you want me to wait for you to finish?" Like WTF?! You're gonna wait at the bar for our date to end so you can have your turn or take him home with you? He says no but asks if she wanted a drink and she said, "No, you know I don't drink..." all knowingly and walked away. With big eyes, I said, "Well *kitten*, I drink" and downed the rest of my drink. I don't know why I didn't demand to know who she was or even just called it a night and left....I guess when you're the one in that situation....I was quite confused and just waiting for a good exit. A few mins later he went to the bathroom and then upon his return she comes back too and is like, "Oh did you pick her up?" "No, we came separately." "Oh ok, then. So you're the one with the grandfather that had 8 wives?" I'm thinking like WTF, he told her about me? He sure didn't tell me about her! So, feeling out of the loop and like the 3rd wheel, we exited and she says nice to meet me and gives me her name. I'm parked next to Peter and he walks me to my car and gives me a hug...but still no explanation. WTF! Then I get a text at 1:30am from a 626 area code number and it says, "I hope you're home safely. I felt bad that you had lots of drink & drove away. You seem like a very nice girl. Peter & I been together for 9 yrs. I just want him to be happy & if that means having several women in his life then so be it. I put him through a great ordeal during my cancer treatment, I just want him to gain bck his youth that he might have lost. Thank you for understanding. I'm very sorry to intrude. It was nice meeting you tonight. Take care, from Ari." And how'd she get my number? I responded with, "I appreciate your explanation. It seems you knew alot about me but I had no idea who you were. I'm actually a very cool and understanding person but Peter had several opportunities to explain or tell me about you and he didn't -- and being blindsided like that -- I do not appreciate. Next time he talks to someone, he needs to give full disclosure from the get go. Some other women may not have reacted as mellow as I did." She texted back with, "I'm sorry to intrude for the last time. Sorry about this early morning text as well. I myself was blindsided til I saw his car so I thought to surprise him, maybe he had a bad day @work & didn't want to tell me. Instead I was surprised to see him not alone. I said I'll be composed cuz I don't know you & maybe you're a potential client til I saw ur face which he had asked me in the past what type of Asian you are and that I would never guess it. Pls don't get me wrong Peter is a great guy. He wasn't going to tell u about me until I showed up cuz I don't think u would meet him if he told u upfront. I really am so sorry to cost you any trouble." Oh lordy.
Then Peter texted, "So u r probably wondering....That girl interrupting us last night is my sweet but slightly crazy ex girlfriend who seems determined to not let me date other people. So that's why I got flustered and left...was pretty pissed but didn't want to make a scene. Was an unpleasant ending to an otherwise great night...hope that didn't ruin it for you...and we can hang out again sometime. Really enjoyed your company.." Sighs. I really did like him...until the Date Killer showed up! He said that she told him she drove around to a few different places looking for his car and thought he was out with friends. I do not need to be messing with a guy that has a f@cking psycho ex-gf that will drive around town trying to track him down...she can have him!0 -
Oh yea and there was this guy that made dinner for me on our second date...but halfway through the meal, he started farting and said not to worry because he's so healthy that his farts don't stink. And that his sweat doesn't taste salty because he drinks a lot of water. And then I could feel through the couch that he was intentionally pushing out farts. He even said, "ohh whoa! 4 in a row! Hahaha awesome"
And one guy got so drunk he couldn't take me home and I didn't have anyone at the time to come pick me up and couldn't even get a cab! So I sat around in an empty parking lot waiting for him to sober up enough to take me home. Conveniently he had a blanket and pillow in his truck he said I could use if I wanted. No gracias! Hours later he finally took me home and he ended up sleeping in his truck outside my house waiting to fully sober up...not sure what time he finally left in the morning.. :-/0 -
Bump - no, not that kind. Most of my attempts at dating have been failures (but fortunately not disasters). At least I'm not the only one...
Most recent example is a guy I met from online who vaguely looked like Ryan Gosling. He was very cute, but at least 5" shorter than his profile suggested (doesn't matter, but a lie is a lie). I offered to pay for dinner and he suggested splitting it, then pretended that he didn't have his wallet, but was joking because he "wanted to see my reaction". :yawn: We got along fairly well and he texted me a couple of times after our date. I decided it couldn't hurt to ask him if he wanted to hang out again, but he never contacted me again after that. Probably for the best...:laugh:0 -
Mine isn't nearly as bad as some of these. I recently went on a first date for coffee with a guy. He orders his first and pays for his and then has me pay for mine. He immediately goes on a rant about how expensive things are "these days" which lasts about 30 mins. I then find out he lives at home with his mom and dad and has for some time. How many bills could he possibly have when he doesn't pay any rent? Ummmm, I'm not a gold digger but an offer to pay for a 2$ coffee since its the first date would have been nice as well.
Oh and I forgot to add he was several inches shorter than he posted online. I didn't call him out on it but seriously did you expect me not to notice?0 -
An oldie but a goodie:
This guy I was introduced to by friends asked me to go to the Daytona 500 with him. We were staying at his parents place because they had tickets too. They were really nice people and I felt completely comfy so no worries there.
Get to the Daytona 500 (first time, never followed it) and he starts drinking Budweiser cans like he's never drank before and spitting peanuts. Peanuts are a hot commodity at the Daytona 500 so when I realized he was in his Daytona 500 zone I just focused on the race until...
He pissed himself. :drinker:
Weird thing was he didn't give a damn. I pointed it out, but he just kinda looked at me like why was I worried about his pissed on khaki shorts. His parents didn't care either, so I stopped caring. Everyone just acted like it never happened. It was the most obvious piss job I've ever seen too, all up in the front of his shorts and dribbled down the side. :smokin:
Good times! 0 -
I had hung out with this girl a few times and I invited her over to a party at my friends house. I pick her up at her house and we hang out inside with her mom for a little while, who was plastered and proceeds to hit on me. For some reason they decided to let the dog out, and it was this huge german shepherd with severe dominance issues. Now, I'm a huge dog person, but this dog scared the living crap out of me, they just said not to make any sudden movements and I won't get bitten. Apparently that happens a lot.
We got the heck out of there and on the way to my friends house she mentions something about how she can't really drink because of the medication she's on. We arrive and she immediately starts slamming mixed drinks. I was like "Uh...didn't you say...you're not supposed to drink...?" She ignores me, keeps drinking, is clearly becoming fairly intoxicated at this point, and starts being way too excitable and enthusiastic about everything. It was really just annoying and embarrassing. I pull her outside and ask her nicely to tone it down a notch and maybe she didn't need any more alcohol. She agrees. We go back inside, she grabs another drink.
A little while later we were all playing a board game and she starts....HAVING A SEIZURE!!! That was apparently the reason she wasn't supposed to drink. My friend was a nurse and she said there was nothing we could really do, we were all just completely horrified and freaking out. She eventually comes to and I ask her what I'm supposed to do, call her mom? Take her to the hospital? She assured me she just wanted to sleep, so I found her a bed and we all checked up on her every few minutes.
I drive her home the next day and on the way she's trying to schedule another date with me. I explain to her that what she did kind of freaked me out, and wasn't cool, and that I didn't think I wanted to hang out with her anymore. She proceeds to tell me how she loves me (after like 3 dates) but I have walls and wouldn't let myself love her back, or some BS. Finally I drop her off.
Oh wait, I'm not done. She calls me a few hours later, I let it go to voicemail obviously. She says she can't find her keys. I find them in my car and drive all the way back to her place (a good 45 minute drive) and throw them in her mailbox.0 -
Wow, now that's classy.An oldie but a goodie:
This guy I was introduced to by friends asked me to go to the Daytona 500 with him. We were staying at his parents place because they had tickets too. They were really nice people and I felt completely comfy so no worries there.
Get to the Daytona 500 (first time, never followed it) and he starts drinking Budweiser cans like he's never drank before and spitting peanuts. Peanuts are a hot commodity at the Daytona 500 so when I realized he was in his Daytona 500 zone I just focused on the race until...
He pissed himself. :drinker:
Weird thing was he didn't give a damn. I pointed it out, but he just kinda looked at me like why was I worried about his pissed on khaki shorts. His parents didn't care either, so I stopped caring. Everyone just acted like it never happened. It was the most obvious piss job I've ever seen too, all up in the front of his shorts and dribbled down the side. :smokin:
Good times!0 -
Date #2: The Cheapie. Asks me to lunch. I decide somewhere nearby...We go to Friendly's. Eat, talk, fun times. Waitress asks if we are finished up and if we would like the bill. His response. "2 checks please." 2 checks. Bloody fu*cking h*ell. My bill was $8.72. I tell my dad this story...his response: "Jesus Christ Nicole, where do you meet these guys? Goodwill?" Thanks Dad....
OMG......ROFLMFAO
I just got back into dating. Met a drummer, seemed nice....tells me he's 42. We exchange numbers. He calls, asks me out. I meet him at Denny's for coffee, tells me he's really 52...why do they lie? Then, while telling me every excrutiating detail of his prior three, count 'em <<3 >>marriages, he CRIES.....not once, but twice. Good God in Heaven and all things holy....I should have worn running shoes.0 -
An oldie but a goodie:
This guy I was introduced to by friends asked me to go to the Daytona 500 with him. We were staying at his parents place because they had tickets too. They were really nice people and I felt completely comfy so no worries there.
Get to the Daytona 500 (first time, never followed it) and he starts drinking Budweiser cans like he's never drank before and spitting peanuts. Peanuts are a hot commodity at the Daytona 500 so when I realized he was in his Daytona 500 zone I just focused on the race until...
He pissed himself. :drinker:
Weird thing was he didn't give a damn. I pointed it out, but he just kinda looked at me like why was I worried about his pissed on khaki shorts. His parents didn't care either, so I stopped caring. Everyone just acted like it never happened. It was the most obvious piss job I've ever seen too, all up in the front of his shorts and dribbled down the side. :smokin:
Good times!
I think we all want to know if he tried to get with you. You know....with his pissy drawers and all.... 0 -
He sure did! Failed on that one too! What a guy 0
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I copied this from one of my blog entries I wrote last month:
Date #1: The Steroids Guy. I'm pretty sure was married because of the wedding band he wore on his middle finger. Maybe he thought I was stupid. Not to mention the immediate temper tantrum he threw when I beat him at Skeeball. I'm not for that "Let a man win so it doesn't bruise his ego ****." Whatever....I can't help it. I'm good. :-) The topper was the whole I'm gonna take two pieces of cheesecake home and THEN ask you if you want some. And he didn't call to make sure I made it home alright. I'm not sure why but that really loses, not looses points with me.
Date #2: The Cheapie. Asks me to lunch. I decide somewhere nearby...We go to Friendly's. Eat, talk, fun times. Waitress asks if we are finished up and if we would like the bill. His response. "2 checks please." 2 checks. Bloody fu*cking h*ell. My bill was $8.72. I tell my dad this story...his response: "Jesus Christ Nicole, where do you meet these guys? Goodwill?" Thanks Dad....
Date #3: The Drug dealer. Meet and drive to the restaurant. In the car before we walk in...He poses the following question: "Wanna do a bump* before we eat?" My response after I wrap my mind around the fact the someone still uses the word "bump"....ahhh no thanks...I think I'll pass. His rebuttal: "Do you mind if I do one?" I was more surprise that people under the age of 47 say the word bump...awkward to say the least.
Date#4: The Big Boy. Decide to meet at the restaurant. (See I'm getting better and better every time ;-)) We have only exchanged pictures. On the phone, he tells me he went to a co-workers party prior to our dinner and that he wasn't that hungry but he wanted to "feed me" anyway. I liked the sound of that so we meet at a spot that had food and pool so we could do both. Anywho, I get out of the car and he pulls up in his car. I wait in front of the restaurant and as he walks up I realize his pictures are probably at least a year old. And about a 50 pound difference. And no...Not a lighter difference. And before you get the wrong impression, I am a thick girl. And I LOVE chunky, bigger men. I always have. The ones that look like they could just pick me up and toss me around. It makes me feel protected. But I want you to own it. I am a Zumba instructor and I am in pretty decent shape BUT I'm still a thicky thick. I was so bothered by his lack of ownership for the "Big Boy" status. Something I love. Complete and utter turnoff. And for the record, his definition of not being really hungry consisted of him ordering a plate of fried pickles (which I love) and a huge spaghetti chili platter. Which he polished off....
*Bump - Not quite a line of cocaine. Just a little snort. Think Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions.
Enjoy :-)
HAHA> Stay away from those Goodwill Dates!! More like a Ross Date. Lunch Date for Less.0 -
Haven't really had any absolutely terrible dates, however I seem to always find the girls that are fresh out of a relationship and first dates typically include drama with the ex, crying and short evenings. Really seems like girls bounce from one guy to the next and just call the lame ducks the rebounds. Girls with "no strings attached" are fabled creatures around here0
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Ever leave a date then realize, "Oh my god, I'm their bad date story!"
It's happened to me. If/when I get nervous I lose my social skills. Still remember standing in the parking lot for 90 minutes while I rambled profusely and the poor guy couldn't leave. I think I was nervous about a potential kiss so I just started talking and did. not. stop.0 -
I just got back into dating. Met a drummer, seemed nice....tells me he's 42. We exchange numbers. He calls, asks me out. I meet him at Denny's for coffee, tells me he's really 52...why do they lie? Then, while telling me every excrutiating detail of his prior three, count 'em <<3 >>marriages, he CRIES.....not once, but twice. Good God in Heaven and all things holy....I should have worn running shoes.
That is hilarious!0
