Messaging
j4nash
Posts: 1,719 Member
So are men as bad as women when it comes to e-mailing on dating sites? I hate spending time on an e-mail and receiving a one word or one sentence response. I give up on it if they don't engage. Doesn't anyone know how to write these days?
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Replies
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Yeah my profile asks specifically for someone who can string a sentence together.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Smuterella
so when I make an approach I say more than "Hi" and expect more than that back.0 -
I feel the same way. When I ask a question I want more than a one word answer. I want to carry on a conversation not be the only one talking.0
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I don't pay for Match so if I get messages, which is rare but I have gotten 2 or 3 since I got mine, I can't respond.0
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You know, I had no messages for months and suddenly, as i maybe meet someone, I get 57! 57! Are girls who dress like they are in Poirot suddenly hot? Summer lust I reckon.0
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OK, I'm a thread killah. You Americans get Poirot right?0
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Never heard of it0
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In my honest opinion guys absolutely suck at online dating. I have met some real losers! Guys can not put two words together. I feel like all the good guys are taken and I will never find anyone. That is my opinion but I know that you are a better guy than most men. Many girls on MFP would die to get a decent guy.0
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Yep, really. I've come back to dating men after a decade of dating women exclusively (my head is a leetle messed up) and it is tough. So many mewn either are stupid or hide behind some tough guy non feeling persona. monyllabic nonsense. It is ridiculous.0
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Me:
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dswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords. What are your plans this weekend? Cute dog, how old is she?
Her:
Hang out with friends and she's 5.0 -
See, I always try and snark back. i need to know someone can take a good tease.
She sounds deadly dull. Avoid.
I just had one, to the profile I posted earlier, who said, and JUST this
"bi girls are cheating, no man would marry a bi girl, you are just for threesomes and ****ing in toilets - dirty B****"
Yeah, like that gets him laid. Ever.0 -
Epiphany
It is just like being in a bar. 99%, sometimes 100% of the people in there do nothing for you. You are always, always gonna strike out more than win. Youn are just a little fish in a bigger pool. you have to swim a bit more, innit.0 -
Me:
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dswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords. What are your plans this weekend? Cute dog, how old is she?
Her:
Hang out with friends and she's 5.
If I'm interested in the guy, I will respond back and ask questions based on his profile. I get a lot more- hi or hi how are you messages then anything so if a guy takes time to read my profile and ask me questions or respond to me from my profile and then write me a decent message, I will respond according. I unfortunately think she is just not that interested.0 -
I'm not doing alot of dating, online or otherwise, at the moment...but when I do.. I prefer shorter emails and longer conversations on the phone or in person...I hated exchanging multiple long email discourses with prospective dates and then suddenly having them disappear (probably they met someone else?) on me before we even met. Waste of time--so now my email responses on the sites have been a bit shorter...and hoping to leave a bit of mystery in the mix. I don't want an email inquisition from someone who's basically a total stranger...
I just miss the days where you physically met people and gave them your number and they either called or they didn't and then you moved on to someone else...I get a little tired of the whole email/text/instant message stuff. I want real communication...but I'm not meeting anyone at the moment, either online or "in real life," so I'm at home alone...typing on an internet fitness site. Boo....0 -
Me:
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dswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswor
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dswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords. What are your plans this weekend? Cute dog, how old is she?
Her:
Hang out with friends and she's 5.
Unfortunately dude those girls aren't interested but feel like they need to reply.
From my experience, it doesn't matter what you put in your message. I've gotten responses from "Hey" and gotten responses from detailed, personalized, funny messages. I've also gotten rejections and non-responses from both.
In my opinion, the best bet is to work on your profile/pictures rather than your messages. If you have good pictures and interesting profile, you might still need to make initial contact, but it won't matter as much what that contact is.0 -
Me:
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dswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords. What are your plans this weekend? Cute dog, how old is she?
Her:
Hang out with friends and she's 5.
If I'm interested in the guy, I will respond back and ask questions based on his profile. I get a lot more- hi or hi how are you messages then anything so if a guy takes time to read my profile and ask me questions or respond to me from my profile and then write me a decent message, I will respond according. I unfortunately think she is just not that interested.
this was just an example, it's hit or miss, i think it's just how some people message.0 -
I just miss the days where you physically met people and gave them your number and they either called or they didn't and then you moved on to someone else...I get a little tired of the whole email/text/instant message stuff. I want real communication...but I'm not meeting anyone at the moment, either online or "in real life," so I'm at home alone...typing on an internet fitness site. Boo....
I miss the days of meeting someone in bar, lunging drunkenly at them and it all working for at least 6 months. that is my relationship history. I got a 6 year outta that until he met a very cheerful (Australian - they are all bloody cheerful) girl and left me. Ah well.0 -
I do have to add...one of the last messages I got on a date site was an unsolicited (meaning I didn't contact him, view his profile, or get matched up with this person) email from a guy telling me how ugly my smile was...all of one mean unnecessary sentence that he went out of his way to write to me...needless to say, I have been a bit put off of dating sites...0
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Me:
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dswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords. What are your plans this weekend? Cute dog, how old is she?
Her:
Hang out with friends and she's 5.
That is ridiculous! I always write a novel and feel like I am over doing it when I respond. I have never given such short response. In my opinion they are just not interested and think that responding with short answers is their way of being nice?0 -
I just miss the days where you physically met people and gave them your number and they either called or they didn't and then you moved on to someone else...I get a little tired of the whole email/text/instant message stuff. I want real communication...but I'm not meeting anyone at the moment, either online or "in real life," so I'm at home alone...typing on an internet fitness site. Boo....
I miss the days of meeting someone in bar, lunging drunkenly at them and it all working for at least 6 months. that is my relationship history. I got a 6 year outta that until he met a very cheerful (Australian - they are all bloody cheerful) girl and left me. Ah well.
I know, right? I got a solid 4 year relationship out of my last "semi-drunken" bar encounter.
Funny, I met some Australian dudes in a bar on my 37th (?) birthday--they sang me happy birthday at my friends' request. Very cheerful guys! LOL0 -
There is a chap that stalks OKCupid, clearly likes us 1940s looking girls, sent me a message and told me he thought a man must have written my profile as it was "too good for a girl to have written" I laid into him heavily because a) its a load of sexist **** and b) he tried it on my best friend the week before.
What worried me is she thought " your profile must be written by a guy" was a compliment.
Jeez0 -
short and to the point responses are often due to disinterest, but trying to be polite.
i had a guy message me at like 1140p and asked what i was up to. i was being sincere, i responded " getting ready for bed."
that was the end of the convo, LOL!!! later some pointed out that i was giving him the brush off with my short and to the point message. basically saying " not interested" with different words. i wasn't interested. but i wanted to be polite, and honest......0 -
I try to respond in kind... if he writes "Hey, how are you?" I say something like, "Great! How are you?" If they write more, I write more.
The only ones I don't do this with are the guys who write these crazy long email books I don't have time to read. It's not that I'm not interested (I've met some in person and had fun), and it's not that I don't appreciate the effort put into telling me about himself... but I have very limited access to Match (can't access at work the way I can MFP) and I just don't have the time to read 4 pages of prose every time I can actually log into the site.0 -
I just miss the days where you physically met people and gave them your number and they either called or they didn't and then you moved on to someone else...I get a little tired of the whole email/text/instant message stuff. I want real communication...but I'm not meeting anyone at the moment, either online or "in real life," so I'm at home alone...typing on an internet fitness site. Boo....
I miss the days of meeting someone in bar, lunging drunkenly at them and it all working for at least 6 months. that is my relationship history. I got a 6 year outta that until he met a very cheerful (Australian - they are all bloody cheerful) girl and left me. Ah well.
Australian girls - cheerful? Most of them are stuck up brats!
I'd rather hang with some British birds
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^ I think the fact that I didn't sound happy all the time put him off, bless. so glad I didn't get married at 23 though.0
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I had no problem responding with more than a couple of sentences, but I would get tired of writing so much! It was especially frustrating when a meet up wasn't suggested after the 3rd or 4th message. I did not sign up for a dating site for the writing, it was to actually meet guys.
I just miss the days where you physically met people and gave them your number and they either called or they didn't and then you moved on to someone else...I get a little tired of the whole email/text/instant message stuff. I want real communication...but I'm not meeting anyone at the moment, either online or "in real life," so I'm at home alone...typing on an internet fitness site. Boo....
I hate the whole email/Facebook/text stuff too! I have been criticized for failing to text and respond promptly. Hell, I even hate talking on the phone.0 -
I had one guy that wanted to add me on facebook before we ever even met. Weird. I mean ok for people I know as friends overseas and stuff but not a potential date. I have deleted my facebook account completely since then. Actually thats a lie, I dleted it becuase it kept suggesting my bfs ex as a friend. eek!0
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I had one guy that wanted to add me on facebook before we ever even met. Weird. I mean ok for people I know as friends overseas and stuff but not a potential date. I have deleted my facebook account completely since then. Actually thats a lie, I dleted it becuase it kept suggesting my bfs ex as a friend. eek!
I deleted mine too! My whole family is on it, so I always felt watched, despite all the security adjustments. I also deleted my OKC account a while back, even before I was in a relationship. When stuff goes bad with my bf, I am just gonna do the bar thing.0 -
maybe ask questions that involve require more than a 1 word answer. good conversation skills is a two way street
for instance did you enjoy your vacation vs what was the most interesting thing you saw or did while there.0 -
I had one guy that wanted to add me on facebook before we ever even met. Weird. I mean ok for people I know as friends overseas and stuff but not a potential date. I have deleted my facebook account completely since then. Actually thats a lie, I dleted it becuase it kept suggesting my bfs ex as a friend. eek!
I deleted mine too! My whole family is on it, so I always felt watched, despite all the security adjustments. I also deleted my OKC account a while back, even before I was in a relationship. When stuff goes bad with my bf, I am just gonna do the bar thing.
IF!, If stuff goes bad with your boyfriend. You gotta look at this positively. If you have the mindset that the relationship with your bf will go sour, it will.0 -
My favorite were the messages telling me ...........hmmmmmm wait I bet there's some pending on pof or myspace brb.......
Marc says
How you doing baby?
Just thought i should say hello
You are beautiful, do you care for a chat so we can get to know each other..
Thanks
Marc
here's another good one:
Omg.Babe i must confess you are a rare gem of beauty.You have really took my breath away.I was just going through some profile and pics here before your beauty caught my attention and i decided to stop by to say hi if possible get to know each others more better.I'm John Garrett from Graham North Carolina,I am a single dad..am new on online dating and am seeking for a passionate love cos i want to love and be love back with no limit.I think we matches each others life style and i would love to know u if possible have a chat with you so we can see where things goes from there.You can reach me through john.garrette@yahoo.com i will be online waiting to hear from you.
Cares.
John
Yes I realize these are likely bots but it's a constant comedic experience over here and I finally just stopped using pof and never sign in to yahoo anymore. I think when the time is right that a great guy will want to hang out and get to know me in person rather than online. Call me old fashioned. lol0
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