There is this guy I'm interested in met on POF. We e-mail for about 2 weeks, then texted for about two weeks and then started talking on the phone. The first two conversations we had were both over 4 hours and from there on the shortest phone conversation we've had was just over an hour. Usually we hit 2-3 hours. It's crazy how well we get along.

I went out with him last week and we had a blast and then I went out with him this week and we had a great time too. However, both of these encounters were basically initiated by me. He is shy (or so he says - I've yet to really see it) so I thought the first time I'd just put it out there and see if he wanted to meet up and he did.

My girls leave tomorrow for Seattle for 5 weeks. We talked last night for 2 hours but he never said anything about possibly hanging out. I don't get it.... if he liked me he'd say something about all this free time I'm about to have and the fact that we'll be able to spend time together, right?

Guys are so complicated! :ohwell:

There's a couple things I'd like to address, the first one of which I'm surprised no one else has mentioned (unless I missed it?).

1) You mentioned something about him being super fit and good looking and his past girlfriends being the same way. You said that he might be hanging out in the hopes of you losing 15-20lbs? So. What. Fact is, he likes you. Even when he's not being handsy and physically affectionate with you he is talking to you for hours at a time! He's attracted to your personality, and in 15-20lbs he'll be that much more physically attracted to your body. It can kind of a bummer to have to accept that but the fact is "we" aren't happy with our bodies so "we" are changing them too. It's not fair to expect someone else to like what we ourselves don't, right? It's basically a nonissue.

2) Based on the info you've given, this guy doesn't do subtlety. Hinting isn't going to get you anywhere ever. Be up front, clear and communicative about what you want. You won't seem pushy, you'll just suddenly start making a lot more sense! He may have seen your hints of "Wow, I have so much time!" as you looking forward to alone time and didn't want to intrude on that. So just tell him you are looking forward to spending more time with him, and that he should plan something for the two of you to do when he is free too.

I actually think you are the first that addressed it. Ok -- non-issue. Just need to get that into my thick skull. He has told me now that he's older (42) he's not into dating young and crazy and that he's looking for a more mature and stable person, which I am. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that he's okay with the way I currently look. I suppose he might be though.

I'll ask him tonight and see what his plans are or maybe I'll just say that now that the girls are gone let me know if you want to hang out, because I'm pretty free the next month. Most of the guys I've met online I kind of get bored with after a couple dates. They fizzle fast. He's not fizzling... LOL.

There's a couple things I'd like to address, the first one of which I'm surprised no one else has mentioned (unless I missed it?).

1) You mentioned something about him being super fit and good looking and his past girlfriends being the same way. You said that he might be hanging out in the hopes of you losing 15-20lbs? So. What. Fact is, he likes you. Even when he's not being handsy and physically affectionate with you he is talking to you for hours at a time! He's attracted to your personality, and in 15-20lbs he'll be that much more physically attracted to your body. It can kind of a bummer to have to accept that but the fact is "we" aren't happy with our bodies so "we" are changing them too. It's not fair to expect someone else to like what we ourselves don't, right? It's basically a nonissue.

2) Based on the info you've given, this guy doesn't do subtlety. Hinting isn't going to get you anywhere ever. Be up front, clear and communicative about what you want. You won't seem pushy, you'll just suddenly start making a lot more sense! He may have seen your hints of "Wow, I have so much time!" as you looking forward to alone time and didn't want to intrude on that. So just tell him you are looking forward to spending more time with him, and that he should plan something for the two of you to do when he is free too.

I actually think you are the first that addressed it. Ok -- non-issue. Just need to get that into my thick skull. He has told me now that he's older (42) he's not into dating young and crazy and that he's looking for a more mature and stable person, which I am. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that he's okay with the way I currently look. I suppose he might be though.

I'll ask him tonight and see what his plans are or maybe I'll just say that now that the girls are gone let me know if you want to hang out, because I'm pretty free the next month. Most of the guys I've met online I kind of get bored with after a couple dates. They fizzle fast. He's not fizzling... LOL.

I just poked through your photos for the first time. WOMAN! The way you were talking I thought you would be bigger. You look great, you're adorable and yes there's room for progress but holy cow you have great legs. He likes you and he's showing it and as long as you are making progress that YOU are happy with... to hell with the past GF's, obviously he's moved on to something better amirite?

I like your plan! Though don't say "If you want to hang out" say "When is our next date" (one is friend zone, the other is bow chika bow wow)

LOL -- I know I'm not bad...just not tight body-toned belly gal. But thank you for the compliment! I'll let you guys know what he says the next time I see him. Was hoping that would be tomorrow as I'll be in his neck of the woods, but am not sure!

Oh yeah, he has commented on how strong my legs are.... LOL. I think he really appreciated them. They are pretty solid but of course he told his were still better. LOL... MEN! (definitely can't let a woman have stronger legs!)

Thanks again! :flowerforyou: