Supportive Family

Devolucien
Posts: 52 Member
I'm curious to know if anyone else on here has an unsupportive family when it comes to weight loss. I've seen it time and time again on the weight loss TV shows but I am 26 years old and just moved back home. I feel like a lot of my goals with my weight loss including some side hobbies I'd like to pick up after I reach my goal are completely looked down upon by my family. I do not know how to get through to my mother that her children are all adults and even if we need to live at home temporarily because of financial hardships, doesn’t mean that we can be treated as children. She is very obese and has expressed desire to lose weight but wants to do it through diet alone. We dieted together before and it was wonderful but I just can’t get her to that point again. Being back at home, I feel that she is doing everything she can to distract me from working out. I put on workout clothes and sneakers to go for a run and she comes up with some random jobs that need done before I can leave the house. I just don’t know how else to explain to her that losing weight is my number one priority without being met with comments like, “you’ll never be thin- I don’t know why you’re obsessing over it.’ Or telling me that my priorities are all out of balance because apparently cleaning her house comes first. Keep in mind we are not unruly, messy, lazy people. My mother is just an OCD extreme type A with a lot of negativity surrounding weight and image.
How can I get her to understand that I need to do this and need her support when it comes to taking time for myself. I’m not asking her to be a cheerleader in any way shape or form, just to lay off when I choose exercise over doing odd jobs for her. I can’t do it all and I understand that they are being hospitable by letting me rent my old room back but there have to be some boundaries!!
How can I get her to understand that I need to do this and need her support when it comes to taking time for myself. I’m not asking her to be a cheerleader in any way shape or form, just to lay off when I choose exercise over doing odd jobs for her. I can’t do it all and I understand that they are being hospitable by letting me rent my old room back but there have to be some boundaries!!
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Replies
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If you already tried straight up explaining to her that this is your priority there's nothing else you can do to sway her. Next time she tries to dissuade you from running, tell her you don't want to talk about it right now then change the subject or just leave the room.0
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My Mom is supportive. She's also trying as well.0
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My immediate family was very supportive. My grandmother, who has no filter between brain and mouth, would frequently make comments about the dangers of anorexia and how I was going to blow away. She has stopped doing that now that I have settled at my "happy size." I am pretty much just working on body composition and strength goals now, but my family doesn't really understand that part of it. They think when you get to a certain weight, you're done. What I have come to realize is that you're never "done."0
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My family has always been supportive .. it is my friends that weren't/aren't.
Probably what is happening is that she knows that she should be doing something too and you are making her feel guilty and bad about herself that she isn't doing it too. So .. her response is to make sure you don't get to do it either.0 -
I'm not sure you ever reach an age where your parents (especially mom) quits treating you like a child (at least not completely). I'm 41 and live 950 miles away from my mom. When I visit, she still makes to do lists without giving me any notice. Her 91 year old mother does it to her too. I think the best you can hope for is that she doesn't get too mad when you tell her that the house cleaning will have to wait an hour because you already made other plans.0
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