I'm back.
Replies
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No .. you all like to date the bat**** crazy girls.0
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Nothing wrong with being a single old hag...as long as you are FABULOUS!!!
You have an amazing attitude & spirit about you! Don't ever change. :happy:0 -
And I love you all.
Weird to say? It is. But you all have listened, laughed, given me advice, talked me down from ledges, smacked me into sense, picked me up and said nice things when I was crying (yesterday!), and made me smile.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.
I'm excited. Funny how break ups/ divorces light a fire under your *kitten*. I'm here making all these new goals for my life. lol.
We'll start off small. I'm going to spend the next weekend with my family. I can't wait to see them!
I got asked out for a date on the weekend. I accepted but will back out since I'm going out of town. I'll wait a bit longer. I'm definately needing to just have fun right now, nothing heavy. Guess it's back to casual dating... :drinker:
Casual is what you need I think. You think too much right now for a serious relationship.0 -
And I love you all.
Weird to say? It is. But you all have listened, laughed, given me advice, talked me down from ledges, smacked me into sense, picked me up and said nice things when I was crying (yesterday!), and made me smile.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.
I'm excited. Funny how break ups/ divorces light a fire under your *kitten*. I'm here making all these new goals for my life. lol.
We'll start off small. I'm going to spend the next weekend with my family. I can't wait to see them!
I got asked out for a date on the weekend. I accepted but will back out since I'm going out of town. I'll wait a bit longer. I'm definately needing to just have fun right now, nothing heavy. Guess it's back to casual dating... :drinker:
Casual is what you need I think. You think too much right now for a serious relationship.
I've decided to step away from it all completely. I need to focus on me right now.0 -
First your exbf is a moron.
Second as 1 loud party free-spirited girl to another YOU dont change for ANYONE........ trust me I tried it once and I was miserable.... You be who and what you are and trust me the right guy/guys will come running like they sented thier favorite meal.....
Also my advice on casual dating, This is what I told my guy friends "I'm gonna keep playing and flirting around until I find a guy that can hold my attention with out trying lol.... Come down to Miami Diana they spanish guys down here would eat you with a spoon lol0 -
Come down to Miami Diana they spanish guys down here would eat you with a spoon lol
LOL eat me with a spoon??
But I don't like spanish guys.. or maybe I would. Who knows.
:brokenheart: I can't even begin to think of other guys right now.0 -
And I love you all.
Weird to say? It is. But you all have listened, laughed, given me advice, talked me down from ledges, smacked me into sense, picked me up and said nice things when I was crying (yesterday!), and made me smile.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.
I'm excited. Funny how break ups/ divorces light a fire under your *kitten*. I'm here making all these new goals for my life. lol.
We'll start off small. I'm going to spend the next weekend with my family. I can't wait to see them!
I got asked out for a date on the weekend. I accepted but will back out since I'm going out of town. I'll wait a bit longer. I'm definately needing to just have fun right now, nothing heavy. Guess it's back to casual dating... :drinker:
Casual is what you need I think. You think too much right now for a serious relationship.
I've decided to step away from it all completely. I need to focus on me right now.
In that case I'm buying stock in self help books!!! jk. Sorry to hear about Smiley... I can promise you one thing, he will look back in a few months when he is still single and regret this!! Look at it this way, you learned a lot about things you like and want in a guy and other things that just wouldn't work... So all and all I would say that was a good little relationship for you.0 -
Come down to Miami Diana they spanish guys down here would eat you with a spoon lol
LOL eat me with a spoon??
But I don't like spanish guys.. or maybe I would. Who knows.
:brokenheart: I can't even begin to think of other guys right now.
Save $5 and buy me a beer
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And I love you all.
Weird to say? It is. But you all have listened, laughed, given me advice, talked me down from ledges, smacked me into sense, picked me up and said nice things when I was crying (yesterday!), and made me smile.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.
I'm excited. Funny how break ups/ divorces light a fire under your *kitten*. I'm here making all these new goals for my life. lol.
We'll start off small. I'm going to spend the next weekend with my family. I can't wait to see them!
I got asked out for a date on the weekend. I accepted but will back out since I'm going out of town. I'll wait a bit longer. I'm definately needing to just have fun right now, nothing heavy. Guess it's back to casual dating... :drinker:
Casual is what you need I think. You think too much right now for a serious relationship.
I've decided to step away from it all completely. I need to focus on me right now.
In that case I'm buying stock in self help books!!! jk. Sorry to hear about Smiley... I can promise you one thing, he will look back in a few months when he is still single and regret this!! Look at it this way, you learned a lot about things you like and want in a guy and other things that just wouldn't work... So all and all I would say that was a good little relationship for you.
Oh he will. Especially because he acted like a real d*ck Saturday morning before we talked and broke up. I didn't deserve that.
Still hurts though.0 -
I get all the "Don`t change" stuff because at heart we all are who we are as character goes but also never stop learning and growing,sometimes our likes and behaviors change when we look at ourselves honestly and weigh things.
No one would tell an extremely shy and introverted to the point they couldn`t function socially person to never change,just the opposite in fact.
Take a step back Diana and view yourself as others would and see what you think and how you as a person can keep growing.
You may not realize it but you have changed dramatically in the last 8 weeks...really I don`t think it is fair for you to call yourself immature anymore as you have in the past,you have come a long ways so no stopping you now. :flowerforyou:0 -
And I love you all.
Weird to say? It is. But you all have listened, laughed, given me advice, talked me down from ledges, smacked me into sense, picked me up and said nice things when I was crying (yesterday!), and made me smile.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.
I'm excited. Funny how break ups/ divorces light a fire under your *kitten*. I'm here making all these new goals for my life. lol.
We'll start off small. I'm going to spend the next weekend with my family. I can't wait to see them!
I got asked out for a date on the weekend. I accepted but will back out since I'm going out of town. I'll wait a bit longer. I'm definately needing to just have fun right now, nothing heavy. Guess it's back to casual dating... :drinker:
Casual is what you need I think. You think too much right now for a serious relationship.
I've decided to step away from it all completely. I need to focus on me right now.
In that case I'm buying stock in self help books!!! jk. Sorry to hear about Smiley... I can promise you one thing, he will look back in a few months when he is still single and regret this!! Look at it this way, you learned a lot about things you like and want in a guy and other things that just wouldn't work... So all and all I would say that was a good little relationship for you.
Oh he will. Especially because he acted like a real d*ck Saturday morning before we talked and broke up. I didn't deserve that.
Still hurts though.
You should delete him from facebook btw... It isn't going to help you to keep any kind of tabs on him, I made that mistake with my last ex and I wanted to throw my computer out the window every time I looked... cause let's face it, you want to know if you can. But yes it hurts and you will think about him from time to time but guess what it will fade and you will meet the right person.0 -
I know I should.. I've deleted his pics from my phone, from FB, untagged him from cute stuff I put on his FB, deleted his song...
But if I delete him from FB completely, that's it. No more connection. I'm even tempted to delete his number from my phone. i don't know it by memory.
But I can't do it just yet. Guess I'm scared to.
This sucks. Sucks sucks.
He told me he seriously thought I was the one and he hadn't felt that before and that I *almost* had everything, all of the qualities he was looking for. Why did he have to tell me that? That keeps running through my mind now and I keep regretting every freak out (but why didn't he just reassure me), every time I wanted to talk (he's not a talker) but he didn't... Not to mention, if he really thought I was the ONE, wouldn't he have fought for me a little harder? He didn't.
My mind is everywhere. Sorry.0 -
I'm talking to myself, ignore me.
So I'm sitting here crying my eyes out at my cubicle. Then of course Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn comes on. **** me!
It's a country song. The most depressing country song you've ever heard.. in case you don't know what I'm talking about.0 -
Glued to the couch? Word?
This was just a learning lesson so that when the "perfect for you" man does come along you'll be able to appreciate him. He will have been thru similar battles and will show you the same appreciation.
Live, Love and don't stop Laughing!!!0 -
Off to google neon moon ...0
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And I love you all.
Weird to say? It is. But you all have listened, laughed, given me advice, talked me down from ledges, smacked me into sense, picked me up and said nice things when I was crying (yesterday!), and made me smile.
I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.
I'm excited. Funny how break ups/ divorces light a fire under your *kitten*. I'm here making all these new goals for my life. lol.
We'll start off small. I'm going to spend the next weekend with my family. I can't wait to see them!
I got asked out for a date on the weekend. I accepted but will back out since I'm going out of town. I'll wait a bit longer. I'm definately needing to just have fun right now, nothing heavy. Guess it's back to casual dating... :drinker:
Casual is what you need I think. You think too much right now for a serious relationship.
I've decided to step away from it all completely. I need to focus on me right now.
In that case I'm buying stock in self help books!!! jk. Sorry to hear about Smiley... I can promise you one thing, he will look back in a few months when he is still single and regret this!! Look at it this way, you learned a lot about things you like and want in a guy and other things that just wouldn't work... So all and all I would say that was a good little relationship for you.
Oh he will. Especially because he acted like a real d*ck Saturday morning before we talked and broke up. I didn't deserve that.
Still hurts though.
You should delete him from facebook btw... It isn't going to help you to keep any kind of tabs on him, I made that mistake with my last ex and I wanted to throw my computer out the window every time I looked... cause let's face it, you want to know if you can. But yes it hurts and you will think about him from time to time but guess what it will fade and you will meet the right person.
I 100% agree with the facebook thing. I never keep ex's on there... just too hard.0 -
Don't even think about it. Just because it didn't work out with one person doesn't mean you need to change anything about yourself. Just means the two of you weren't a good fit.So yeah, my "free-spirit" was a little offended and maybe I need to tone it down?
This^^^ never, ever, EVER change for someone. It will never last and it will just surpress you and make you miserable in the end.
And conversely, never expect a guy to change for you!!
Being compatible is very important for a relationship to last :flowerforyou:
I understand this. I do. I promise. And I'm not fishing for you all to tell me how great I am. I won't change because this is ME. But maybe I need to tone it down. Just a tweak? Maybe I inimidate men.. maybe I challenge them. Maybe I'm a handful. Who knows. My ex was very very passive. I can easily see how we weren't a good fit. Ex bf was more assertive.. or maybe passive aggressive. He would say no to me, which was awesome. Still, obviously it was too much for him.
If you are going to change, change for you or because you want to. I want to change, not for others, but because I want to be someone who... and that person isn't quite who I am now. If you aren't changing for you though, don't change. Be happy with who you are and if someone comes along great - if not, at least you are happy. :-)0 -
I'm talking to myself, ignore me.
So I'm sitting here crying my eyes out at my cubicle. Then of course Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn comes on. **** me!
It's a country song. The most depressing country song you've ever heard.. in case you don't know what I'm talking about.
How does one qualify any country song as the "most" depressing,they all make my skin crawl.
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Neon Moon IS depressing!! Not because it's a country song but the whole tone, the music, the words.. oh my God. Seriously. It's my favorite sad song ever.
My chest hurts people!!! Make it stop. Somehow.
I had a beer last night. I thought of getting drunk but I'm afraid if I get drunk, I'll call him or text him. That's the only reason why I'm not letting myself.
I'm going to Houston for a visit. I'll arrive Thursday night at my bff's house first. She's taking me out to mend my broken heart. I just am afraid I'll be a mess. Should be fun though.0 -
Neon Moon IS depressing!! Not because it's a country song but the whole tone, the music, the words.. oh my God. Seriously. It's my favorite sad song ever.
My chest hurts people!!! Make it stop. Somehow.
I had a beer last night. I thought of getting drunk but I'm afraid if I get drunk, I'll call him or text him. That's the only reason why I'm not letting myself.
I'm going to Houston for a visit. I'll arrive Thursday night at my bff's house first. She's taking me out to mend my broken heart. I just am afraid I'll be a mess. Should be fun though.
Okay,now hush,you are sitting there working yourself into a tizzy and while of course you are down about everything this isn`t going to help.
Remember the strides you took moving forward and look at the horizon...stop looking in the damn rear view mirror.
With what you told me there was no way this was going to work and the heartache would have been great along the way.
There is no magic fix to feeling better,only time will do that but you can take control and stop making yourself feel worse Diana.0 -
I know I sound like a wuss. We only date 2 months. I know. But if you remember, this was a huge step for me. I was truly open with him. This is the 1st guy i was truly myself with.. ever! I didn't hide my crude jokes, I was uninhibited with him in bed, I was completely myself, which he told me he loved and wanted. I was so scared to be vulnerable but I did it. For the 1st time ever. My ex husband didn't even get the real me because he was always telling me not to do this or that (stuff like using a cuss word.. yeah.) I thought ex bf was the one too. I've never felt what I felt with him, from the beginning.
We laughed, played, kissed, etc.0 -
I get all the "Don`t change" stuff because at heart we all are who we are as character goes but also never stop learning and growing,sometimes our likes and behaviors change when we look at ourselves honestly and weigh things.
Truth.
Some things can and should be changed. I think too often we choose to comfort ourselves with the thought that this is just who we are and there's nothing we can do about it, so if someone doesn't fit neatly into whatever life we've built then we tell ourselves there's no potential. I think it's a defense mechanism more than anything else. But when you meet someone who makes you want to be more or better than you were before, you realize that's a load of crap.
Don't change your values (unless you have truly come to realize you were wrong about something), but if there are attitudes and behaviors that are holding you back, you CAN do something about that. Sure, it may be uncomfortable for a while, but that's the difference between a high school relationship where you walk away the minute you discover there are things about the other person you don't like, and a grown up relationship, where you just get over yourself and accept that everyone has flaws. If the other person is worth it, it's counterproductive to go into that panic mode where you think anything that goes against the grain means you are with the wrong person.0 -
Step #1 - Delete him from facebook. Hanging on only makes it harder. You know you're not going to be friends with him, so just let it go.
Step #2 - End the pity party. You know you're a catch (you've spent the better part of the last three months telling and showing us so).
Step #3 - Reconnect with friends, family. Have fun. Party a little, enjoy life.
Step #4 - Don't blame other men for what your exs couldn't be or handle. There are men out there who can handle you. And at least one of them is the right guy for you.
Step #5 - When you're feeling down about all this, go back to #2 and repeat the steps.0 -
I know I sound like a wuss. We only date 2 months. I know. But if you remember, this was a huge step for me. I was truly open with him. This is the 1st guy i was truly myself with.. ever! I didn't hide my crude jokes, I was uninhibited with him in bed, I was completely myself, which he told me he loved and wanted. I was so scared to be vulnerable but I did it. For the 1st time ever. My ex husband didn't even get the real me because he was always telling me not to do this or that (stuff like using a cuss word.. yeah.) I thought ex bf was the one too. I've never felt what I felt with him, from the beginning.
We laughed, played, kissed, etc.
It's happen again.0 -
I know I sound like a wuss. We only date 2 months. I know. But if you remember, this was a huge step for me. I was truly open with him. This is the 1st guy i was truly myself with.. ever! I didn't hide my crude jokes, I was uninhibited with him in bed, I was completely myself, which he told me he loved and wanted. I was so scared to be vulnerable but I did it. For the 1st time ever. My ex husband didn't even get the real me because he was always telling me not to do this or that (stuff like using a cuss word.. yeah.) I thought ex bf was the one too. I've never felt what I felt with him, from the beginning.
We laughed, played, kissed, etc.
So rather then feel bad over it celebrate that you did those things and tell yourself you are becoming the person you want to be.0 -
We were hearing how great SL was and how you were crazy about him and were hurt to be friendzoned. Then Smiley came along and we heard how great Smiley was and how he was the one and that you no longer had feelings toward SL. This will pass too. You will be fine. However, if you are not fine, that is karma biting you in the *kitten* because I now have Neon Moon stuck in my head and have been singing it to myself for a good 30 minutes.0
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Neon Moon IS depressing!! Not because it's a country song but the whole tone, the music, the words.. oh my God. Seriously. It's my favorite sad song ever.
At least it's a song you can dance to. In terms of break-up songs, I prefer those to the slow, agonizing ones that just make you think you're never going to be happy again.0 -
I get all the "Don`t change" stuff because at heart we all are who we are as character goes but also never stop learning and growing,sometimes our likes and behaviors change when we look at ourselves honestly and weigh things.
Truth.
Some things can and should be changed. I think too often we choose to comfort ourselves with the thought that this is just who we are and there's nothing we can do about it, so if someone doesn't fit neatly into whatever life we've built then we tell ourselves there's no potential. I think it's a defense mechanism more than anything else. But when you meet someone who makes you want to be more or better than you were before, you realize that's a load of crap.
Don't change your values (unless you have truly come to realize you were wrong about something), but if there are attitudes and behaviors that are holding you back, you CAN do something about that. Sure, it may be uncomfortable for a while, but that's the difference between a high school relationship where you walk away the minute you discover there are things about the other person you don't like, and a grown up relationship, where you just get over yourself and accept that everyone has flaws. If the other person is worth it, it's counterproductive to go into that panic mode where you think anything that goes against the grain means you are with the wrong person.
Definately. And there have been times (even when I was with him) where I felt helpless because my mind would overthink and overanalyze. I felt like I couldn't change it. But that's BS. It's hard. And putting into practice what I had learned after my divorce was the hardest thing.. I didn't think it was going to be, but it was. I fought internally the whole time I was with him.
I learned. But the fears of "I'll always be this way" or "ex really did a number on me" make me feel that same helpless feeling. I'm strong. I know it. I've survived hell but you come out of that shredded into pieces. And though I've glued a lot of it back together there are some that I'm having a hard time with. The glue isn't sticking!! Or I need to try super glue.
Ha. I smiled there for a second. 0 -
Step #1 - Delete him from facebook. Hanging on only makes it harder. You know you're not going to be friends with him, so just let it go.
Step #2 - End the pity party. You know you're a catch (you've spent the better part of the last three months telling and showing us so).
Step #3 - Reconnect with friends, family. Have fun. Party a little, enjoy life.
Step #4 - Don't blame other men for what your exs couldn't be or handle. There are men out there who can handle you. And at least one of them is the right guy for you.
Step #5 - When you're feeling down about all this, go back to #2 and repeat the steps.
Sounds like a solid 5 step program. With #1, there will never be a good time to do it, so just buck up and get it done! You might not feel better right after you do it, but a week from now you will thank us!!0 -
We were hearing how great SL was and how you were crazy about him and were hurt to be friendzoned. Then Smiley came along and we heard how great Smiley was and how he was the one and that you no longer had feelings toward SL. This will pass too. You will be fine. However, if you are not fine, that is karma biting you in the *kitten* because I now have Neon Moon stuck in my head and have been singing it to myself for a good 30 minutes.
FL!! He was that big crush I could never get to. Which, by the way, he's been great. He called me late last night because I told him on Sunday we broke up and to check up on me when he could in case I was buried under icecream and tears on my couch.
I have Neon Moon on repeat right now! :happy:0
This discussion has been closed.