I've hit bottom
Marep50
Posts: 7
I, as probably all of you, have struggled with the pain, the fact that it is harder to exercise than "regular" people, and the depression caused by years of pain. I wished for quick fixes with my weight and we all know how that goes. Saturday night I went to a small party and someone took my picture and it showed up on facebook. I looked like a corpse that has been in the river for a couple of weeks. I looked pasty, bloated, fat and old. The picture bothers me so much I have not been able to sleep and I am not fit company to be around. What have I done to myself? How could I do this to myself? There is nowhere to go but up. I've decided to journal every day and develop a schedule for exercise and eating AND CUT OUT THE CARBS!!! We no longer have potatoe chips or cookies in the house and I lost 5 lbs and now keep going up and down the same 2 lbs. I am not happy! Weight loss is not going to just happen. It's going to be work. Does anyone want to participate in a challenge with me?
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What kind of challenge. I'm in the same boat as you now. I'm so upset with myself for gaining so much and I have finally realized it is going to keep going up until I do something about it. I have fibromyalgia, arthritis and get so tired. Exercise is painful but I am fed up. I'm ready to do something, anything.... I am so sad because my kids saw an old picture of me and said mom what happened? :'O(
oh, and the picture of me in my profile is old too. That was before I even had fibro.0 -
I would have to ask what kind of challenge also? I would love to participate, but I find when I try and play with the big kids (like doing Power 90, Turbo Fire, Turbo Jam, and P90X) I end up hurting myself and am down for a few weeks. When this happens I feel like a failure and I hurt like hell and then I'm depressed because I'm not up working out and feel like crap and keep berating myself in my head. I know we are all in the same boat here, so I'm sure we can come up with something we could all do together. Even if we all do our own type of workout that we know we are able to do without causing too much pain. I assume as long as we come back and keep each other going it could work. Please feel free to add me as a friend. It would be nice to have some friends that understand what it is I'm going through, Kim.0
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Thanks for responding donnawannalos and kim8184. I'm not sure what kind of challenge. maybe we can try to report something positive we have done each day toward better health/better size. K?0
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That sounds good. My doctor wants me to exercise at least 10-15 minutes every day even if I don't feel good. I haven't been able to do it every day yet but I do most days. I have a recumbent stationary bike and that is what I usually do. I can't go very fast so I just try to go as long as I can without causing myself to be in a lot of pain the next day. I also usually try to press up into the air with both arms while on the bike. No weights. I can usually do 30 of those. My arms are big so I can't wear some tops just because of that.
Sometimes I go for a walk with my dog or work in my garden or in the yard for a little while instead but I can't do that as long. I can't rake or anything but I weed and pull dandelions and trim smaller trees.
So I'll try to do that every day if I can.0 -
Thinking of those that replied.I was depressed too my foot was swollen and lumpy but I trudged to the pool only to find my suit being loose which u would think was good but it wasnt i stoped to look at some and felt bigger than the dressing room.I thought I was at one of those fun houses where the mirrors make you distorted it was scary. The good news my foot isnt lumpy anymore and I may be able to sleep tonite without pain meds.0
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You can add me as a friend .
I challenge you to do this!
For every negative comment you make, journal it. Then add 2 positives comments,
You are doing 10-15 mnts of exercise a day and thats great.
I have arthristis is both knee's. I go to my local YWCA pool..
I was so negative with a job a had while back, I didnt like who I was, even when I lost weight.
Being positive has help me so much.
I dont "know" you. but I like you!0 -
Thank you for the positive challenge Xristy. I really appreciate the motivation. I thought I would post an update. I exercised yesterday for 15 minutes and felt really good. I even bumped up the resistance to 2 and tried to keep my regular pace. Today I'm feeling really tired for some reason. I slept till 4pm dreaming weird stuff and feeling "drugged". I exercised even though I didn't want to. I was feeling really week and was thinking I wouldn't make it to 10 minutes but I pushed myself and made it to 13 - at resistance 1. I think I'm going to rest a little bit and then go outside and do a little bit of work in my garden. I have some plants to plant. That should make up for the couple minutes I didn't get to.
Oh, I lost 4 lbs and I'm really happy about that. I haven't been able to lose any for a long long time. So I'm smiling today.0 -
I have Fibro,chronic fatigue and energy is something I no longer know the meaning of. People take for granted the simple things in life that take energy. Read my profile and if you decide you want me as a friend we can cheer each other on and win this war against obesity add me as a friend.
I know there is no known cure for fibro and I have had it 10 yrs it only has gotten worse,no known cure for chronic fatigue either they usually go together. I also have severely under active thyroid so losing weight for me is a miracle, but I am doing it. Eating 50 carbs a day plus counting calories is helping me to lose weight. Check out the symptoms of adrenal gland fatigue you may have it like i do, it means your adrenal glands are not working the way they were created too work,too much stress in your life overworks them. I cannot exercise due to other health issues but eventually I hope to be able to do so. I cannot do anything about my other health issues so I am working on the one thing I can fix, eating healthy food.0 -
Today wasn't a very good day for me and I slept almost all day but I finally got on my bike and went at a snails pace for 40 minutes. I feel a little better now. How is everyone else doing?0
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...someone took my picture and it showed up on facebook. I looked like a corpse that has been in the river for a couple of weeks. I looked pasty, bloated, fat and old. The picture bothers me so much I have not been able to sleep and I am not fit company to be around. What have I done to myself? How could I do this to myself?...
Oh you summed that up to a tee on how I feel! I despise anyone taking photos of me, i hate what i have let myself become, I used to be really fit and loved sport until the 'Arthur' kicked in, along with all those damn tablets... Im mad because I can no longer wear my corsets (im a corsetier) even 2 dozen steel bones wont get me looking half decent. Its awful cos you feel like your brain is arguing with itself all the time as the pain is bad, and how can you exercise if your in pain? But everyone tells you that exercise will help? its like your fighting all the time and it does get you down. I am on anti depressants now as well as all the stupid meds for 'Arthur' I really wanted to get a 20 minutes do on my cross trainer today but i felt so tired and drained I havent done any
Bad Times 0 -
As i read some of the posts in this topic, it feels like listening to my own story. From a healthy, active runner to being unable to walk even 5 minutes was the worst experience of my life. I have the extreme form of fibromyalgia & hypothyroid since early 2007 and thanks to same I couldnt exercise for 3 years and ofcourse did lot of comfort eating and by end 2009 was just 4 pounds shy of being morbidly obese.
Today I lead an "almost" normal life. Thanks to MFP have shed most of my excess weight (have a few pounds to go but I am in no hurry) and the best of all - i am jogging now (running may never happen again).
what it took me was tons of determination. meditation and DAILY myotherapy & trigger point therapy. i still take some medication including occassional pain killers, do lots of ice packs for my swollen joints (arthritis) and take daily therapy.
The trick i have learnt over the years is to take it one day...one hour...one minute at a time. I dont think of how I will go through my complete jog today, I tell myself that I will just do basic stretches and then stop. After strectches, I tell myself that I will just jog for 10 min and then stop....by pushing myself just that little bit everytime I get through my exercise.
So go ahead, challenge yourself to just 10 min of minimal movement, then add another 5 if you feel like it and another 5 and before you know you will be hitting that 30 min mark.
All the best!0 -
I was diagnosed around 2000 but i know i had it much longer.
I find it hard to do anything some days but i've got a good job with understanding people which makes life easier.
I try to walk at least half an hour a day even if i have to break it down into segments. I find it a big achievement if i can wander around the supermarket with the hubby without having to bail and go sit in the car while he finishes up.
I have FM CFS arthritis and hypothyroid.
I had one day Sunday just gone where i felt almost normal!! 1 day in the last 2 years- it was amazing. the next day I came down with a harsh bang. Oh well i was happy for that brief visit of the old me.
I have found that changing my diet to a healthier option has made me feel a little better in myself even though I havent seen any real weight loss yet.
I have started swimming more ( not the last few weeks though coz i've been really ill from dental surgery) but as soon as Im better I'll get back into that.
I hate having my photo taken as I dont see "me" in them anymore just this fat crippled old lady and think WTF happened to me?
My mum is the same and her mum before her. But we keep going....keep plugging on- Its all you can do right? (then have a nap)
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