For those that just broke up with someone... Refocus!
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Amazona, I think you're a great girl, and I apologize if you think I'm trying to attack you. What you are experiencing is not unique to you, almost every single person goes through these same issues. It is, however, unfair for you to be upset when people disagree with how you are handling a situation because we don't know everything happened, when you have posted so much about it. Okay, there are things you kept private, but when you post in a public forum we only have what you have offered us to comment on. So yes, based on your past posts, based on your current posts, and based off of personal experiences I have offered my thoughts. Honestly, I didn't expect you to like them right away anyway.
Thanks for the compliment.
I understand. I'm not upset because you disagree with me. It's just frustrating because it's more than just me being dumped. It has to do with the choices I made in this little relationship.
Furthermore, I want to learn from everything I experience in this single peep journey from now on, whether it's a 1st date or a 2 month relationship. Being married for so long, I lost track of ME because I was in an unhealthy marriage. This world is new to me. It's like I'm born again. Scary and exciting!
Well it sounds to me like you know what you're doing and you know what's best for you. While a lot of the people on Single Peeps are just trying to help, I think sometimes people forget that we all operate and think differently. Keep doing what you're doing and enjoy your weekend. :flowerforyou:0 -
Relaaaaaax!I hate when people tell me to relax or chill .. pisses me off to no end.
Doesn't matter how long you were with the person .. you lived and you learned. That is what it is all about. It hurts to be rejected .. whether the person is right for you or not.
Are you shaking your head disdainfully, or do you think I'm sweet this time again? :laugh:
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My marriage taught me that you cannot change people and people cannot change me unless I want to change. I have been divorced for a year now. I had a GF from Dec - Feb and that relationship taught me that I need to communicate more and now i have been working on communication skills.
I have refocused on ME for a while.0 -
I will leave it at this - you are an amazing woman, and it is his loss. You are just venting your emotions and trying to mentally sort things out, and sometimes the best way to do it is here.
I get you, and I understand. But we will pick up our pieces and move forward.
*huge hugs* I feel ya there - it is a process. Hang tough :flowerforyou:
ETA: Dont hate that its over, smile because it happened.0 -
I will leave it at this - you are an amazing woman, and it is his loss. You are just venting your emotions and trying to mentally sort things out, and sometimes the best way to do it is here.
I get you, and I understand. But we will pick up our pieces and move forward.
*huge hugs* I feel ya there - it is a process. Hang tough :flowerforyou:
Yes I'm venting.. and maybe I shouldn't here. It's just easier to type while I'm bored at work than to call up a friend and talk to them. It's easier because I don't forget when I write. I forget when I talk. I write a lot. I journal. It's theraputic for me.
Hugs to you too!!!0 -
Relaaaaaax!I hate when people tell me to relax or chill .. pisses me off to no end.
Doesn't matter how long you were with the person .. you lived and you learned. That is what it is all about. It hurts to be rejected .. whether the person is right for you or not.
Are you shaking your head disdainfully, or do you think I'm sweet this time again? :laugh:
HOLY *kitten* .. !! You have a face!!! lol .. I've never seen all of you before!
BTW .. I am shaking my head at you!0 -
I will leave it at this - you are an amazing woman, and it is his loss. You are just venting your emotions and trying to mentally sort things out, and sometimes the best way to do it is here.
I get you, and I understand. But we will pick up our pieces and move forward.
*huge hugs* I feel ya there - it is a process. Hang tough :flowerforyou:
Yes I'm venting.. and maybe I shouldn't here. It's just easier to type while I'm bored at work than to call up a friend and talk to them. It's easier because I don't forget when I write. I forget when I talk. I write a lot. I journal. It's theraputic for me.
Hugs to you too!!!
Well I don't know about everyone else but as far as I'm concerned vent away honey.... I use you guys like free therapy and feel free to do the same with me lol.... People are all going to have opinions but thats just their opinion if your comfartable telling us about it do so.... Believe me I pretty much tell you guys everything so I dont drive my friends crazy with my love life lol....0 -
Makes perfect sense to me, Diana :drinker: :bigsmile:0
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If you need to overthink it to get over, nobody else should tell you that's wrong. Nobody has to read your posts if they don't want to. I think you stated some positive things. And yeah, if you want to think badly of him to mend your heart, do it. It's not like you're going over to key his car! (You're not, right? LOL kidding).0
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I put my face out there so that the nice people from MFP I'm going to meet very soon can recognise me!HOLY *kitten* .. !! You have a face!!! lol .. I've never seen all of you before!
BTW .. I am shaking my head at you!
PS: yeah, we're threadjacking to talk about our lives. Sorry.0 -
jack away.0
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I hate when people tell me to relax or chill .. pisses me off to no end.
Doesn't matter how long you were with the person .. you lived and you learned. That is what it is all about. It hurts to be rejected .. whether the person is right for you or not.
chillax will ya 0 -
Bump! For a MFP friend who just posted about her "douchecanoe" (her words) of an X.
I am fully refocused.0 -
Bump! For a MFP friend who just posted about her "douchecanoe" (her words) of an X.
I am fully refocused.
Yeah, you are!0 -
Honestly, I think this is too much for what you had with smiley.
You're over thinking beyond what the term even means. But you know that.
Quit calling him the "S" word. Blah.
You confuse me.. Are you saying I learned too much from this little 2 month old relationship? Give me a break, it was my 1st one in 13 years. (yowzas!) It was a huge deal in my life because it was the 1st one in so long. That's all.
Maybe girls just learn more than guys, lol. In a two year relationship I learned... I need to put more time in, and in some cases when a girl says she has a lot of guys friends... she just might be bumping uglies with them. And that is it.
Word. I0 -
Plain and simple....just like me.....*kitten* didn't work out....you're out of the relationship now...Count your blessings you didn't walk down the isle and say "I Do".......I thank my lucky stars that I had the brains to leave.....
The best thing you can do right now is be alone...work on yourself and when you LEAST expect it, MR. RIGHT will come.
Before we can ever truly love anyone, we have to love ourselves. Stop trying to be a codependent on someone....Sure it's nice to have that S.O. in our lives.....but that's just an added bonus...BE PICKY! Don't settle for the next guy that gives you attention or know's how to use those smooth pick up lines....It's all bullsh!t....that will fade. Look for the man that will be YOUR better half...someone that shares the same goals, morals, and values as you. WAIT for the man that will compliment you...not in words, but by his actions.....
But most of all, as of now....HAVE FUN IN LIFE!!! Do what makes YOU happy!!!
AND NO I AM NOT ATTACKING YOU.....I'm just keeping it real!0 -
Plain and simple....just like me.....*kitten* didn't work out....you're out of the relationship now...Count your blessings you didn't walk down the isle and say "I Do".......I thank my lucky stars that I had the brains to leave.....
The best thing you can do right now is be alone...work on yourself and when you LEAST expect it, MR. RIGHT will come.
Before we can ever truly love anyone, we have to love ourselves. Stop trying to be a codependent on someone....Sure it's nice to have that S.O. in our lives.....but that's just an added bonus...BE PICKY! Don't settle for the next guy that gives you attention or know's how to use those smooth pick up lines....It's all bullsh!t....that will fade. Look for the man that will be YOUR better half...someone that shares the same goals, morals, and values as you. WAIT for the man that will compliment you...not in words, but by his actions.....
But most of all, as of now....HAVE FUN IN LIFE!!! Do what makes YOU happy!!!
AND NO I AM NOT ATTACKING YOU.....I'm just keeping it real!
I hear ya!0 -
Bump! For a MFP friend who just posted about her "douchecanoe" (her words) of an X.
I am fully refocused.
awww thanks! He IS a douchecanoe! my fav word of the day!0 -
Forget this thread. I think you(as in La_Amazona) should go read the article "Why you're not married"by Tracy Mcmillan on the Huffingtonpost. STAT0
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Forget this thread. I think you(as in La_Amazona) should go read the article "Why you're not married"by Tracy Mcmillan on the Huffingtonpost. STAT
Oh God.. I've read it. I'll pass.0 -
Forget this thread. I think you(as in La_Amazona) should go read the article "Why you're not married"by Tracy Mcmillan on the Huffingtonpost. STAT
complete crap
-from someone who is apparently a slut, a liar a *****, selfish AND shallow0 -
This is about ME. Not about him. So yeah, you chill.You're focusing so much on "learning" so many different things that you're literally changing in your mind how things happen (look at your older posts - how you presented situations then and now are OPPOSITE). You've gone from being understanding to resentful. That's not exactly progress.
Actually, Diana, I've been off the board for a few days so I have a lot of catching up to do... but in what little I've read so far this does seem to be happening. This does not detract from how ultimately cool you are (after all, you too love The Katinas, lol). I'll keep reading and see if my judgment changes... but from an initial glance it does appear you're doing the typical "he's a loser, I didn't really care" rewrite so typical of old relationships.0 -
Being married for so long, I lost track of ME because I was in an unhealthy marriage. This world is new to me.
FWIW, coming out of a 15 year relationship (12 years married), it took me awhile to rediscover ME. I, honestly, 3 years later only just now feel like I"m defining who I really am... and I'm nowhere near ready for a permanent relationship.
{{{{hugs to you}}}}0 -
I hate when people tell me to relax or chill .. pisses me off to no end.
Doesn't matter how long you were with the person .. you lived and you learned. That is what it is all about. It hurts to be rejected .. whether the person is right for you or not.
chillax will ya
Of course .. YOU WOULD MIX THE TWO!!!! grrrrr!0 -
Forget this thread. I think you(as in La_Amazona) should go read the article "Why you're not married"by Tracy Mcmillan on the Huffingtonpost. STAT
Oh God.. I've read it. I'll pass.
Is it weird that I didn't think it was that bad? I don't agree with everything, but a lot of what she says makes sense...0 -
I agree with some of it ... I do think women lie to themselves a lot about what they want. In their hearts, they know they want a relationship that could lead to marriage, but in their minds, they convince themselves to stick with the guy who has no intention of getting married, all because the sex is good and they like the attention and it's "better than being alone." They place that above the more consequential aspects of marriage like finding someone who supports you, someone who makes you happy, someone you could actually build a life with.
But I just think most of the things in that article can be so easily rebutted.
For instance, she says "men don't like angry women, they like Kim Kardashian, and you never see her angry." Are we talking about the same Kim Kardashian who married a guy and divorced him 72 days later, all for the publicity? Pardon me for not using her as an example of how to get married.
Don't even get me started on the "you're selfish if you think about your job and your body and your hobbies, and married people never think about those things" nonsense.0 -
For instance, she says "men don't like angry women, they like Kim Kardashian, and you never see her angry." Are we talking about the same Kim Kardashian who married a guy and divorced him 72 days later, all for the publicity? Pardon me for not using her as an example of how to get married.
Don't even get me started on the "you're selfish if you think about your job and your body and your hobbies, and married people never think about those things" nonsense.
Ok, yes, those things I do not agree with. However, loving yourself and not lying to yourself or a man about what you want are both necessary to having a healthy relationship. I also don't think that someone who has been married three times necessarily gives the best advice -- maybe look to someone else about how to stay married?0 -
Just an FYI that the article being discussed here was posted in February of 2011, so the cultural references are likely less important than the general meaning behind them.
Overall I think the article has a hint of truth to it, but when boiled down, it's just one writer's opinion, so nothing to get hung up on.0 -
For instance, she says "men don't like angry women, they like Kim Kardashian, and you never see her angry." Are we talking about the same Kim Kardashian who married a guy and divorced him 72 days later, all for the publicity? Pardon me for not using her as an example of how to get married.
Don't even get me started on the "you're selfish if you think about your job and your body and your hobbies, and married people never think about those things" nonsense.
Ok, yes, those things I do not agree with. However, loving yourself and not lying to yourself or a man about what you want are both necessary to having a healthy relationship. I also don't think that someone who has been married three times necessarily gives the best advice -- maybe look to someone else about how to stay married?
Ugh yea, my friend texted me yesterday to read the article and give her my opinion on it. I told her I'm fine with being a selfish b*tch right now and the article is about how to get married and not how to stay happily married since the writer is 2-3 times divorced! I could be married right now if I wanted to be but I don't want to be married just to be married. One of the comments at the end of the article - "Marriage is the leading cause of divorce" cracked me up.0 -
Forget this thread. I think you(as in La_Amazona) should go read the article "Why you're not married"by Tracy Mcmillan on the Huffingtonpost. STAT
Oh God.. I've read it. I'll pass.
Is it weird that I didn't think it was that bad? I don't agree with everything, but a lot of what she says makes sense...
Her attempt to be "edgy" with her terms undoes whatever other points she may have.
Btw...what is it about Hollywood comedy writers thinking that they somehow are authorities about male,female relationships?
If there was ever a place one should avoid advice from about marriage and similar it would be from there.0
This discussion has been closed.