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CONFUSION!! Male Behaviour explanation?

NCTravellingGirl
NCTravellingGirl Posts: 717 Member
edited December 2024 in Social Groups
OK, I know you're all probably tired of my online dating posting, haha, but the advice has been awesome!

Last week I got a message from a guy, we couldn't seem to connect, so he sent me his number. I posted on here asking advice about what was normal since it seemed early to text. I did go ahead and send him a message the next day (Tuesday) and never heard a word in return, though I could see that he looked at my profile at least 2-3 times after that.

I moved on and didn't think about it any further yet today while I was at the gym, I got a text apologizing, saying he'd had the flu but hoped we could still talk. I didn't respond since I was lifting, but then there was a call and a message left from him. He actually sounded pretty normal and again apologized, etc...

So I sent him a text that I was at the gym, but I needed to clean up, walk the dog etc, so would he want to call later? He text back, and we set something up for 830 PM....that was literally just at 7 PM...I went to check out his profile as a refresher and saw that he had done the same as well, haha.

Now it's past 9, AND NOTHING?!! WTF? I can even see that it shows him online, yet I don't think I should reach out! I'm not here to chase him... he messaged ME, not the other way around in ALL cases!

I am so confused...why even bother reaching out today?! It's not like I know him enough to really care one way or another... I just would like to understand how men think...Advice??

Replies

  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    nothing to understand here. he's a flake.. move on.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Just be aloof and go about your life as normal.
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
    agreed, flake. if he can't commit to meeting for a brief first chat ( is that what i was going to be? a phone call?) what's gonna happen for the first date?? i'm not saying drop him because he wasn't punctual, but if he's like this early on..... probably won't get better over time!
  • DrewMaxwell
    DrewMaxwell Posts: 269 Member
    He may just be nervous, but I'd say with the delay between the initial contact a week ago and today he's has other priorities
  • solman66
    solman66 Posts: 175 Member
    Don't reach out, he said he would call so leave it at that.
    The multiple looks at your profile make me think he's not a flake, he just sounds shy and nervous about talking to you. He's probably hoping you'll initiate, but if you do it will never end there.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I stopped trying to figure people out on the internet. Seriously. There is no standard statistic for a loon!!! :laugh:

    Go with it. Dont go with it. Up to you. Just dont waste too much time trying to apply logic. There isnt any!! :flowerforyou:
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I hate to say this but sounds like he was bored and looking for something tonight. My guess is he might have found someone else from the site willing to meet in person at the last minute.

    Whether this is true or not, there are serious flakes out there so don't let it get to you. Just don't get too invested before actually meeting so you can move on to the next one easier.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    I'd be irritated, too. Next!
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
    that has happened to me so many times i have lost count! what kills me are they guys who will look at my profile upwards of 3x a week and never contact me! grrrrr I'm with the other poster.. be aloof
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    agreed, flake. if he can't commit to meeting for a brief first chat ( is that what i was going to be? a phone call?) what's gonna happen for the first date?? i'm not saying drop him because he wasn't punctual, but if he's like this early on..... probably won't get better over time!
    Yeah. For all these reasons and many others, I would move on.

    The way I read this personally is that you are an "option". Now, it's nice and natural to have "options" (because you don't want to focus on 1 person before even dating!) but at least you should treat all your options as equal before you commit for a date.
    And if he happened to by shy (my @ss!) then he will learn a lesson this time.

    Sounds like it's going to be his loss this time!
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
    I'd be irritated, too. Next!

    This.

    No doubt a recurrence of the flu. Or bubonic plague. Or something.

    When he texts you tomorrow about how very sorry he is, do yourself a huge favor and ignore.

    --P
  • NCTravellingGirl
    NCTravellingGirl Posts: 717 Member
    Thanks for the advice everyone... I just wanted to think through some of the possibilities... I'm not planning to speak with him further. Too much of a past with an ex who used to stand me up. I'd never trust him to show up in person, so what's the point, right?!
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    OK, I know you're all probably tired of my online dating posting, haha, but the advice has been awesome!

    Last week I got a message from a guy, we couldn't seem to connect, so he sent me his number. I posted on here asking advice about what was normal since it seemed early to text. I did go ahead and send him a message the next day (Tuesday) and never heard a word in return, though I could see that he looked at my profile at least 2-3 times after that.

    I moved on and didn't think about it any further yet today while I was at the gym, I got a text apologizing, saying he'd had the flu but hoped we could still talk. I didn't respond since I was lifting, but then there was a call and a message left from him. He actually sounded pretty normal and again apologized, etc...

    So I sent him a text that I was at the gym, but I needed to clean up, walk the dog etc, so would he want to call later? He text back, and we set something up for 830 PM....that was literally just at 7 PM...I went to check out his profile as a refresher and saw that he had done the same as well, haha.

    Now it's past 9, AND NOTHING?!! WTF? I can even see that it shows him online, yet I don't think I should reach out! I'm not here to chase him... he messaged ME, not the other way around in ALL cases!

    I am so confused...why even bother reaching out today?! It's not like I know him enough to really care one way or another... I just would like to understand how men think...Advice??
    .

    If you have to ask, you'll never understand it.

    Move on.
  • NCTravellingGirl
    NCTravellingGirl Posts: 717 Member
    If you have to ask, you'll never understand it.
    Move on.

    I already did but thanks for the great advice. I feel enough like a 5th grader getting back out there without Captain Obvious smacking me backwards...We can all always count on your smart @ss response... thank you so much!! Didn't your mother teach you to keep your mouth shut if you have nothing constructive to add?
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