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Transphobia (from gay acquaintances)

DollyMiel
DollyMiel Posts: 377 Member
edited December 2024 in Social Groups
Not sure how to deal with this, but my new workplace is super gay friendly and a huge percentage of my co-workers are gay. If they're not, they're all very much okay with it. However, today they really disappointed me with the utter disgust they displayed when talking about a transwoman who sometimes comes by and they used her as the butt of some really ugly jokes.

I was having a really bad day and this only made it worse. I'm not strictly trans but I am genderqueer with close FTM friends and their jokes served to make me feel outcast when I was just beginning to get comfortable with them.

Am I being overly sensitive? Why are so many LGBs not okay with the Ts? May not be the same, but we're all in the same boat fighting for the same rights. It's very disheartening. :c

Replies

  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    I don't think you're oversensitive. I have a transgender friend, and I have never heard of something like this from him. It's sad, though. People should be able to support one another even if they're transgender because the LGBT community could use all the support it can get. Why discriminate against one part of it if you're part of another? Maybe I'm naive.
  • DollyMiel
    DollyMiel Posts: 377 Member
    Even worse is the amount of trans people not okay with other trans people for the weirdest stuff. Like you have to do this and that in order to be "real". This is why I shy away from LGBTQ+ communities in general.

    I wish I had remembered that concerning the people I mentioned in the OP. :\
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Even worse is the amount of trans people not okay with other trans people for the weirdest stuff. Like you have to do this and that in order to be "real". This is why I shy away from LGBTQ+ communities in general.

    I wish I had remembered that concerning the people I mentioned in the OP. :\

    At the college I go to, we have a LGBT+ group called the Rainbow Alliance. They accept everybody. Gay, lesbian, bi, straight, trans, asexual, pan, questioning, and everything in between. It's kind of sad when a group of college students are nicer to others than grown adults.
  • wyldling
    wyldling Posts: 35
    Call your co-workers out on it. Not in a confrontational point of way but maybe this is an opportunity to enlighten other people about the transcommunity? There is a lot of transphobia out there but I think its because a lot of people don't really know a trans individual. Especially with peer pressure I can see a situation going that way because if one jumps in making jokes then the rest will as well. A lot of the time I think people have a hard time just understanding the concept because they are not going through the trans experience or are not close to someone who is.

    I think acceptance in general requires an understanding of what its like to be misunderstood.
  • Bastiencade
    Bastiencade Posts: 81
    I definitely agree with calling your coworkers out, I've seen such horrible displays of transphobia in the community it's sickening.

    You'd think someone in the LGBT community would realize that gender norms are completely made up, as we go against them every single day. I've heard gay friends call them sick, or nasty, and even heard people say they wouldn't let their child grow up that way. I always call my friends out on it, and at least attempt to help them understand that they had as little choice in deciding their gender as we do deciding we're gay. You're born how you're born.

    Don't put up with ignorance, you sitting back and allowing it to happen is the same as when straight people don't stand up to gay bashing. I bet they'd quit the jokes in front of you if you let them know how wrong you felt that was.
  • DollyMiel
    DollyMiel Posts: 377 Member
    I definitely agree with calling your coworkers out, I've seen such horrible displays of transphobia in the community it's sickening.

    You'd think someone in the LGBT community would realize that gender norms are completely made up, as we go against them every single day. I've heard gay friends call them sick, or nasty, and even heard people say they wouldn't let their child grow up that way. I always call my friends out on it, and at least attempt to help them understand that they had as little choice in deciding their gender as we do deciding we're gay. You're born how you're born.

    Don't put up with ignorance, you sitting back and allowing it to happen is the same as when straight people don't stand up to gay bashing. I bet they'd quit the jokes in front of you if you let them know how wrong you felt that was.
    You're right. Should it happen again (and these sorts of situations always happen; there's never a last time, and not just with these people in particular), I will definitely say something.

    I didn't today because I think I was just so utterly shocked that they would suddenly turn around and become that ugly and cruel when before they had been so cool with everything like that. :\
  • aoikirin
    aoikirin Posts: 143
    I am sorry for this, but it doesn't surprise me. There is a lot of this in our communities, not to mention some of the worse racism I have ever seen. There is a lot of room for improvement.
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