better to do it alone or with someone?
r1ghtpath
Posts: 701 Member
and by "do it" i mean, stuff like hiking, biking, camping, roller coasters, pool, beach, dinner, movies, etc.... ;-)
i took down my online dating profile cuz i am just not up for dating. i'm not for meeting someone with the purpose of figuring out if this person is who i want to be in a romantic relationship with.
however, this summer is gonna be a long one if i have to do all of the above mentioned things, alone...... last summer i did find one person that was interested in just being friends and we had a lot of fun just being friends. i posted on OKC that i was looking for a friend male or female. girls weren't interested at all. it was a process to find a guy that was ok with that though!!! the difficult part is that i have my kids every other weekend, so preferably it's a guy that doesn't have children at all, and doesn't work weekends...
so, am i better off just doing those things alone? especially since it's almost july!!! i'm starting to think i am. it's less work and i'm feeling lazy, LOL!!!!
anyone here live anywhere close to DC?? anyone interested in joining me for such activities?? :-)
i took down my online dating profile cuz i am just not up for dating. i'm not for meeting someone with the purpose of figuring out if this person is who i want to be in a romantic relationship with.
however, this summer is gonna be a long one if i have to do all of the above mentioned things, alone...... last summer i did find one person that was interested in just being friends and we had a lot of fun just being friends. i posted on OKC that i was looking for a friend male or female. girls weren't interested at all. it was a process to find a guy that was ok with that though!!! the difficult part is that i have my kids every other weekend, so preferably it's a guy that doesn't have children at all, and doesn't work weekends...
so, am i better off just doing those things alone? especially since it's almost july!!! i'm starting to think i am. it's less work and i'm feeling lazy, LOL!!!!
anyone here live anywhere close to DC?? anyone interested in joining me for such activities?? :-)
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I am 3 hours from DC but would totally do those things with you.
I wouldn't give up, you never know when you might click with someone, whether it is friendship or a relationship.0 -
You don't have any female friends? I do most of that stuff with girlfriends. The boyfriend for the past seven years rarely ever went along for any of those kinds of things (one big reason he's becoming my ex).0
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i do, but they are all married with kids. saturdays are like sacred family days. not to mention NONE of them enjoy things like that. i learned that 2 summers ago when i tried to get people out of their elements and comfort zones and was completely Unsuccessful! :-/0
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Don`t hesitate to do some of it alone,you will probably stand a better chance of meeting a decent guy that way then on OKC.0
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www.meetup.com
Seriously. It's like a dating site for finding friends with similar interests. When I first moved to Tallahassee I knew no one. I joined a book club, walking and hiking group and women's group on there and through those I made a fantastic circle of friends, some with families, some single -- all kinds.0 -
I don't see what's wrong with dating sites. If things don't work out you can always be friends. I've ended up with a few good female friends that way.0
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I wish I lived closer. I don't have any friends where I live to do things with either. Not that there is much to do in Western Kansas anyway.0
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Don`t hesitate to do some of it alone,you will probably stand a better chance of meeting a decent guy that way then on OKC.
this is what i've been doing. i do what i want when i want :-) it gets a little lonely at times, LOL! like you see something really cool and want to elbow the person next to you, and ooops there's no one there, LOL!!!
as for meetup. i've tried that. there isn't much out my way, and what is out here i have little or no interest in. there is a camping/ backpacking group that i tried to get involved in, but they were always meeting on my weekends WITH kids, or i'd be too late signing up for something ( like they'd have 10 slots and i'd be number 15).0 -
Don`t hesitate to do some of it alone,you will probably stand a better chance of meeting a decent guy that way then on OKC.
this is what i've been doing. i do what i want when i want :-) it gets a little lonely at times, LOL! like you see something really cool and want to elbow the person next to you, and ooops there's no one there, LOL!!!
as for meetup. i've tried that. there isn't much out my way, and what is out here i have little or no interest in. there is a camping/ backpacking group that i tried to get involved in, but they were always meeting on my weekends WITH kids, or i'd be too late signing up for something ( like they'd have 10 slots and i'd be number 15).
Have you tried starting your own group? It does cost some money, but you could do it for six months and then take it down or hand it over to someone once you get what you need out of it.0 -
I don't see what's wrong with dating sites. If things don't work out you can always be friends. I've ended up with a few good female friends that way.
i only met ONE guy that was ok keeping things platonic. i didn't want to date. i didn't have time for it last summer and wasn't in the right mindset either. i met a lot of guys!!! and they all wanted at least the "benefits' part if we were gonna be friends. and when it was clear i wasn't going to be offering those services they decided they couldn't be my friend.
one guy told me that i wasn't "his type." which was fine for dating, but really? i'm not "your type" of friend?? i think i'm a pretty good and fun friend, LOL!!! i'm certainly not boring ;-)0 -
www.meetup.com
Seriously. It's like a dating site for finding friends with similar interests. When I first moved to Tallahassee I knew no one. I joined a book club, walking and hiking group and women's group on there and through those I made a fantastic circle of friends, some with families, some single -- all kinds.
I vote for this as well..its a great website and community I love meetup!0 -
Have you tried starting your own group? It does cost some money, but you could do it for six months and then take it down or hand it over to someone once you get what you need out of it.
i have not. i never really even thought about that!! i'll have to look into.
it's weird living in a town that is probably 99% families, couples, old people. the only reason there are single people here is because of divorce( like me), or the death of a spouse. we are pretty rural, but there is a lot to do. it's just very very very hard to find someone in a similar situation.
i was at home last week ( chicagoland area) and i know sooo many friends from HS that are single. it was actually very nice to have that in common with someone IRL :-)0 -
Good luck. I truly believe it's always better to find good friends than dates. The problem with the dating sites is people really are there to have relationships, not friendships. I also suggest finding a place to volunteer or joining some kind of club that interests you.0
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I hate doing things alone. I feel your pain. It's not that I mind the act of being alone, I just get bored. It is always more fun with good company around. I've also heard great things about meetup.com. I may try it myself soon here.0
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About an hour from DC...let me know
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I wish I lived closer. I don't have any friends where I live to do things with either. Not that there is much to do in Western Kansas anyway.
Same here,if I wanted to see a movie it is a 45 minute drive one way.
To go out to dinner too.0 -
About an hour from DC...let me know
hey!! where are you??
for the most part i'm totally ok alone. i do a lot of stuff by myself. and thankfully the summer isn't too too long now. i spent most of june traveling since my kids were w their dad. july is gonna be a busy month so my kid free weekends i might just spend focusing on yard work. that leaves 2 weekends in aug. so, perhaps i'll be fine :-)
the only thing i know i want company for is ROLLER COASTERS. this summer i WILL GO! i've tried to find someone to go with me for the past 3 summers :-( and so far i've come up empty all three summers! either no one wants to go period, or they don't want to ride the upside down ones.
anyone here wanna ride roller coasters w me?? ;-)0 -
www.meetup.com
Seriously. It's like a dating site for finding friends with similar interests. When I first moved to Tallahassee I knew no one. I joined a book club, walking and hiking group and women's group on there and through those I made a fantastic circle of friends, some with families, some single -- all kinds.
I agree with meetup.com. You live in an area that should have active groups.
Sorry just saw the other posts. I would think around DC would be active.0 -
How about
a) placing an ad in the main forum here for RL friends or
b) searching your local area on here for MFP peeps and send them a PM? :flowerforyou:0 -
If you were closer I would totally go on the rollercoasters......especially the upside down ones !!!0
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How about
a) placing an ad in the main forum here for RL friends or
b) searching your local area on here for MFP peeps and send them a PM? :flowerforyou:
i've thought about a. maybe i will. i know people have looked for members in VA, but not that many respond and even fewer live near me. there is one guy that is close. we went hiking last weekend. it was fun!! however, he has his kids every single weekend, so, that makes it hard to see if he's available when i want to go do these things. especially if they take a couple hours.
:-)
how come the people that WILL ride with me have to live so far away?? LOL!!!!0 -
I do stuff alone all the time because I travel all the time and it is a hell of a lot better than putzing around the hotel surfing the net all weekend. But that said it does have a tendency of strongly reminding you just how lonely you may be. For example my mother constantly reminds me that I am never in any pictures of my travels because nobody is ever there to take one. The line exception in two years of this job is the one of me on my profile at the World Cup Final last year.
I recently joined meetup as well because my friends have all seemed to have liberated themselves of either free time or money or both. Haven't gone to any events yet but looking to change that this weekend before hopping a plane on Monday.0 -
I agree with the meetup suggestion. I've made tons of friends volunteering and hiking that I take to the movies and stuff too!
Oops, I just saw Meetup was a bust for you. I'll keep thinking for suggestions!0 -
How about
a) placing an ad in the main forum here for RL friends or
b) searching your local area on here for MFP peeps and send them a PM? :flowerforyou:
i've thought about a. maybe i will. i know people have looked for members in VA, but not that many respond and even fewer live near me. there is one guy that is close. we went hiking last weekend. it was fun!! however, he has his kids every single weekend, so, that makes it hard to see if he's available when i want to go do these things. especially if they take a couple hours.
:-)
how come the people that WILL ride with me have to live so far away?? LOL!!!!
You know you can search people by zip code. Maybe you can do that and "browse" like a dating site.0 -
I don't see what's wrong with dating sites. If things don't work out you can always be friends. I've ended up with a few good female friends that way.
This exactly! Even if your "prospects" don't work out romantically, there was obviously something that drew you to that person and there is no reason you can't be friends!0 -
You know you can search people by zip code. Maybe you can do that and "browse" like a dating site.
i do now!!! awesome! thank you :-)0 -
I'm about 1.5 hours from DC in South Central PA - but I'm not a roller coaster sorta girl! I'm also eh about camping... but movies, dinner, hiking, biking, museums, etc. I'm into.
I believe there is a group (not here that I know of) that has roller coaster maniacs as members... I know a guy who is a fanatic for roller coasters and goes out to Ohio regularly to THE roller coaster... I think if you search you may find "specialty" friends. Not many people will fit into your exact niche perfectly.0 -
I'm considering going to Cedar Point next weekend just to check it out, but I hate roller coasters and most other extreme rides. So I have no idea why I am going other than it's there.0
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I spent the whole winter driving to Tahoe by myself to snowboard. I loved the alone time - it really helped my unwind from the busy week and think about some important stuff in my life. Buddies came up with me a few times, and I did meet a cool chick while I was up there, but my intentions were usually to roll solo.0
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I do a lot of stuff by myself. At first, after my divorce I didn't like it because I was always used to my ex being there, but after awhile I found it very liberating and I really enjoyed being able to sit through a movie I liked or stay for a second without worrying about putting anyone out.0
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