Negative Influences in your Life (Friends or not?)
JThomas61
Posts: 892
I have been thinking about my friends and lately some of the people I thought were my friends turned out to be lying, backstabbing, SOBs. I found this out by a 3rd party who told me that they were *****ing about my Runtastic Facebook posts regarding my cycling and running. They seem to be jealous that I work out and that I do what I want to do, and dye my hair blonde. They are miserable a**holes that whine, complain, or have an excuse for everything, so it led me to ponder the following...
Friendships can benefit you in lifting your self-esteem, encouraging you to live healthier, or even just elevating the quality of your life. Your friends should lift you up and help you to be the best person you can be. Do they?
Do you Feel Good After Spending Time With Them?
One way to determine if your friends are having a positive effect on you is to gage your mood after you've spent with them. Do you leave feeling energized and happy? If so, chances are your friends are a good influence to your mind and body.
By contrast, if you spend an entire day with your friends and feel out-of-sorts or guilty afterwards, your pals may not be as positive as they could be. Your friends don't necessarily need to encourage you to run marathons or help you brainstorm ideas for the next great American novel, but they do need to help your self-esteem flourish and give you an all-around good feeling about the world.
Negative Behavior That Can Bring You Down
When deciding whether or not your friends are a good influence, it's important to look at the overall big picture. Your friends don't need to be perfect (because none of us are), but they should encourage you. A friend who is a negative influence may want you to:
• Gossip.
• Gamble or spend money you don't have.
• Make choices that will hurt you or your family.
• Engage in illegal activities.
• Shun your other friends.
Your pals should encourage a healthy lifestyle (since it's something we all should adhere to), but the reality is that you might just splurge on your diet once in a while or skip your exercise class in favor of a movie. It's not the day-to-day activities you look at when determining if someone is good for you. Rather, it's the overall effect someone has on your life.
I am getting rid of the negative influences from my life.....are you?
Friendships can benefit you in lifting your self-esteem, encouraging you to live healthier, or even just elevating the quality of your life. Your friends should lift you up and help you to be the best person you can be. Do they?
Do you Feel Good After Spending Time With Them?
One way to determine if your friends are having a positive effect on you is to gage your mood after you've spent with them. Do you leave feeling energized and happy? If so, chances are your friends are a good influence to your mind and body.
By contrast, if you spend an entire day with your friends and feel out-of-sorts or guilty afterwards, your pals may not be as positive as they could be. Your friends don't necessarily need to encourage you to run marathons or help you brainstorm ideas for the next great American novel, but they do need to help your self-esteem flourish and give you an all-around good feeling about the world.
Negative Behavior That Can Bring You Down
When deciding whether or not your friends are a good influence, it's important to look at the overall big picture. Your friends don't need to be perfect (because none of us are), but they should encourage you. A friend who is a negative influence may want you to:
• Gossip.
• Gamble or spend money you don't have.
• Make choices that will hurt you or your family.
• Engage in illegal activities.
• Shun your other friends.
Your pals should encourage a healthy lifestyle (since it's something we all should adhere to), but the reality is that you might just splurge on your diet once in a while or skip your exercise class in favor of a movie. It's not the day-to-day activities you look at when determining if someone is good for you. Rather, it's the overall effect someone has on your life.
I am getting rid of the negative influences from my life.....are you?
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~ There are many definitions of " friendship " ... I have certain friends whom play a vital role in my health and fitness, as I have friends who are emotionally connected .... the truth is everybody has to bring something to the table ... it has to be positive and something that either myself or them can benefit from. Not everybody is happy go lucky ... and that's ok, but they at least have to want " more " out of life.
I have always kept negative people at a distance ... I will lend a hand to anybody in need ... but it is my hand that I rarely put out unless it is somebody whom I consider to be a " friend ".
I will say that life is full of challenges and that with every new acquaintance I come across ... I tend to look for one common denominator : Positive Influence in their own character
Also ... we do tend to outgrow some friendships ... it's only natural as we grow into something new, that we lose some of the people who can't, won't ... ever understand. This can sometimes even be family members.
My golden rule in life ... If being around somebody doesn't make you happy ... and you can't find a reason to smile ... they don't belong in your circle of life ... and that's ok to.
I'm happy you're my friend, Jeff ... and I appreciate all your hard work ... I think your commitment to health and fitness is admirable and you have done so well with your choices ! I hope you continue on this great path you have created !
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Jeff, Great post! I have been struggling with this the last few weeks and am finally realizing over the last few days this is exactly what I need to work on.0
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If someone brings you down, then there is no need to hang with them. Ever! I find it very easy to distance myself from negative people in my life.
Friends should enhance your life, and you should enhance theirs, not make it miserable.
Not too bothered about them encouraging my health and fitness though, although I'd be disappointed if they DIScouraged it!
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Definitely a topic that I've been thinking about lately, so thanks for putting it into words. It's a great reminder for all.0
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Completely.Definitely a topic that I've been thinking about lately, so thanks for putting it into words. It's a great reminder for all.
When I started to change to become who I wanted to be, people "resisted" MY change. Which doesn't make any sense at all.
More recently, I've met a friendly, awesome, non-judgemental bunch of people with who I go out mostly... Makes all the difference in the world.
PS: Good job on dying the hair blonde, I think this is awesome!0 -
Friendships can benefit you in lifting your self-esteem, encouraging you to live healthier, or even just elevating the quality of your life. Your friends should lift you up and help you to be the best person you can be. Do they?
I never really thought of it that way, but thinking of those I count as good friends, do exactly this.Also ... we do tend to outgrow some friendships ... it's only natural as we grow into something new, that we lose some of the people who can't, won't ... ever understand. This can sometimes even be family members.
This is something I struggle with, especially the last part...
Definitely a thought provoking topic and relevant to what I'm working my way through at the moment...0 -
I don't think that I dislike any of my friends in any way and love seeing them but I def gravitate towards to the friends that workout and do fitness related stuff.
Friends who lift together, stick together!0 -
This is a really good post and definitely gives people a lot to think about.
I just closed some doors where I live so I can move forward to a place I'd like to settle into more, and was set on moving to Charleston. I love the city and thought it would be an easy transition from where I live now, but I don't know anyone there. I love an adventure so moving to a new place and meeting new people excites me, but lately I just miss my friends and family who really know me. So, contemplating the idea of moving back home to Florida. I went away solo and had some time to think about it and just feel the need to be around people I trust and who I know trust me in return. It just feels good and the past few years I've definitely attracted a lot of negativity and I'm over it. After a while it brings you down. A move to Florida would definitely bring on a new set of challenges though so I'm still quite torn on the decision. Either way, I've definitely made big progress on rejecting some negative people lately or people I knew would eventually bring me down (in dating) so I'm happy about that.0 -
I have been struggling with this myself. I am finding I will have to close some doors to allow myself to heal from their negative influence.
No drama and haterade for this girlie!
Congrats to you Jeff - and thank you for this post. I see your timing is impeccable for a few of us!!! :drinker:0 -
Such a great reminder that people are in your life by YOUR choice. It is a privilege you grant them and not a right for them to own. If someone doesn not properly respect the gift of your friendship, love and support then that person deserves to have their privileges revoked! I've always been fortunate to have amazing friends who have taught me to value what I bring to my relationships. Unfortunately, there will always be those people who are afraid of change or jealous of your success... they need to find their own way to happiness rather than trying to ruin yours!
Thanks for posting this... I think many of us can use the reminder. :flowerforyou:0 -
Sometimes you don’t realize how negative an influence some people are in your life… until they are gone!
There was a time I was so sad to lose what I thought was a very close friendship. But with that person gone (along with the people I lost because we fell out) my life became practically drama free and WAY more positive. Never again will I purposely allow that negativity into my life. And when friends change, I try to flex with them. But if they're a constant drain, I just have to “love them from a distance.”0
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