Advice on how to date after being married 10 years..

kansasbelle
kansasbelle Posts: 264 Member
edited December 2024 in Social Groups
Hey Y’all. I have been single a year now and dated two men. I was married 10. I tried some dating sites without luck. I am now down almost 20 more pounds and got my hair cut off. I put up a profile on POF I got so many messages I had to take my pictures down for a break. There is one guy I wrote to I never expected to write me back and we have been texting and talking on the phone the past few days. He lives 2 hours away and it may be difficult for us to get together. But I really very am attracted to him. He’s is completely different from any man I ever wanted to go out with. Lots of tattoos, great body ears pierced, but he’s not a bad boy just sort of looks like one to me. He’s actually stable, responsible and good father. I still have a few other cuties also writing to me and then a guy I was talking to over a month ago from another site e-mailed me tonight (we traded personal e-mails) saying that he felt really bad but had a family emergency and would understand if I didn’t write him back. I have never been the woman to talk to more than one guy at once or date more than one guy at a time. I really like the hottie two hours away and we seem to click but am not sure if it is workable and don’t know what to do. I don’t want to risk messing that up.
It has just been so long since I dated.
:ohwell:

Replies

  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,401 Member
    Since you're only in the talking stages with all of them, continue what you're doing (unless juggling all their info confuses you) as long as you're having fun. And definitely meet the guy 2 hours away because you will regret it if you don't, but at the same time it's too early to put all your eggs in one basket.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    -Focus on finding suitable partners via in person meetings rather than dating sites.
    -Have zero expectations for the one 2 hours away. Think practical. It is very difficult to see the other person regularly to do what it takes to sustain a relationship if a relationship is your goal.
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844 Member
    Girl, you are looking too HOT! :smile: So proud of you!

    Just take it easy and have fun. Don't rush into anything. But, yes, you and hottie should definitely meet.
  • kansasbelle
    kansasbelle Posts: 264 Member
    Thanks SS you are too.... And you saw his picture.. he's a hottie... so you understand. This is how my profile reads on the dating site. It seemed to attract them like flies to honey....



    I am the kind of girl that easily adapts to a variety of situations. Whether it’s hiking boots and camping or a cocktail dress and an evening out on the town I will have fun no matter what. I am happiest when I am outside enjoying a cool breeze, listening to the sounds of nature, and sitting under a blanket of twinkling stars. I am still acclimating to life here in Kansas. It has been quite the culture shock coming from a larger Southern City to a small town in the Midwest. Being Southern I still find myself enchanted with each snowfall, the bunnies that hop around my front yard, and the howling winds that roll tumbleweeds quickly across my path. The smell of cow is something I am not sure I will ever acquire an affinity for. I am different from a lot of women out here because I was raised to be a Belle. I still believe manners and values are very important. I feel I value the things most people do like friends, family and faith. My hobbies include walking, Pilates, reading, writing, my pets, and spending time with friends. Looking at me you would never guess that I have an affinity for the harder edged rockers like Shinedown, 3 Doors Down and Staind, but you would be absolutely mistaken. Although, those are my favorites I am not opposed too much music except for mainly rap. I don’t fit easily into a box description wise so if you want to know more feel free to ask.
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844 Member
    KB- love the way you wrote your profile! You are gifted with words. :)

    and of course, they are attracted to you... You are awesome!
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    Hi there!
    I was also married for 10 years up until last year. The divorce (in my case) was the best decision ever. Even then it was hard going from married woman mentality to divorced/ single woman mentality.

    I think I have a hang of it now ;) ... It's all in the mindset. Also, if things felt overwhelming due to fears, anxiety, doubt, I'd pull back. I'd stop dating and refocus.. Even if it was just a week.

    Have fun and just take it a day at a time. Don't fall for the first guy that comes your way. You have a fresh start... Don't settle!
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