When a guy asks about his appearance
SouthernSweetie74
Posts: 844
On more than one occassion, I've had a man ask me, "So, what do you think?"
My response is, "What do I think about what?" He usually replies with something like, "me," "my pictures," or "my appearance."
Okay, really, what am I supposed to say to this. It really makes me uncomfortable. I mean, what if I don't like what I see. Am I supposed to say that? "You're nose is too big" or "You look old" or "My eyes hurt from looking at you"???? Of course, I don't say those things. I try to find something positive about the person and focus on that. I might say, "You have pretty blue eyes" or "You have a friendly smile" or "I LOVE your shirt!" or "You look like my best friend's brother."
What if I really do think he's hot? It still makes me uncomfortable. A few months ago, I met one guy. Now, when I saw him, my first reaction (INSIDE MY HEAD) was "WOW, He's fine." But when he asked me, "So what do you think?" I didn't say that. I mean, I didn't want to drool over him. Eventually, after he badgered me, I came out and said, "You look GOOD, okay."
I will say that the guys who have asked me this sort of question generally give compliments freely.
But here's my deal...
When I first meet you, I may or may not initially think you're all that and a bag of Doritos. However, once we start talking and get to know each other and make a connection, you might just be a Channing Tatum in my eyes.
And... if you're already a hot rock star, don't ask. You don't need to. I promise my attraction will be made known.
Okay... that's all... just a little pet peeve of mine...
My response is, "What do I think about what?" He usually replies with something like, "me," "my pictures," or "my appearance."
Okay, really, what am I supposed to say to this. It really makes me uncomfortable. I mean, what if I don't like what I see. Am I supposed to say that? "You're nose is too big" or "You look old" or "My eyes hurt from looking at you"???? Of course, I don't say those things. I try to find something positive about the person and focus on that. I might say, "You have pretty blue eyes" or "You have a friendly smile" or "I LOVE your shirt!" or "You look like my best friend's brother."
What if I really do think he's hot? It still makes me uncomfortable. A few months ago, I met one guy. Now, when I saw him, my first reaction (INSIDE MY HEAD) was "WOW, He's fine." But when he asked me, "So what do you think?" I didn't say that. I mean, I didn't want to drool over him. Eventually, after he badgered me, I came out and said, "You look GOOD, okay."
I will say that the guys who have asked me this sort of question generally give compliments freely.
But here's my deal...
When I first meet you, I may or may not initially think you're all that and a bag of Doritos. However, once we start talking and get to know each other and make a connection, you might just be a Channing Tatum in my eyes.
And... if you're already a hot rock star, don't ask. You don't need to. I promise my attraction will be made known.
Okay... that's all... just a little pet peeve of mine...
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I think what they are asking is: do you fancy me?
I could be wrong, but I'm fairly sure that there is a basic gender difference here. Most women I know have three types of reactions: attraction, no way and a whole lot of guys in the middle that they find unremarkable at first but who could become the most attractive guy on the planet to them when they get to know him. Most men I know have only two criteria: hot or not. It's much simpler, they know much sooner. I' bet all guys wonder how a woman they have just connected with rates them, but the more confident ones will ask.0 -
This is a very bad move from these guys. You nailed it, I'm just wondering what's the point of asking this question... As you will never get a sincere answer!
Well, I normally escape this kind of questions with humour.
I'd probably reply "You're f'in ugly and you stink! But I still like you because of your incredible intelligence and sense of humour.", another way to say "Shut up you silly!".0 -
Huge pet peeve of mine too. Some guys are really insecure and just need to be told they're hot. I have a hard time lying so I try to skirt around it. LOL0
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This is a very bad move from these guys. You nailed it, I'm just wondering what's the point of asking this question... As you will never get a sincere answer!
Well, I normally escape this kind of questions with humour.
I'd probably reply "You're f'in ugly and you stink! But I still like you because of your incredible intelligence and sense of humour.", another way to say "Shut up you silly!".
EXACTLY! Wouldn't it mean more if he waited for me to compliment him on my own?
And I love your way of handling the question! :laugh: I may try that next time.0 -
Uhm...not to put too fine a point on it but the "Does this make my butt look big?" quip is out there for a reason as far as which gender perhaps is more concerned with physical appeal.
Which is odd because then often they rail against that very same thing.
Now if a guy or gal is curious if you find them attractive then odds are for whatever reason(s) you probably don`t all that much because you would have left no doubt in their minds about it already so there would be no need for the question.
If that person needs constant assurance that you do then there is a problem brewing as nothing will ever be good enough.
Your beautiful/handsome each morning will eventually lead to needing it said each evening and then each mid day etc.0 -
Really I've only experienced this from online dating..when the guy didn't have a picture with his profile and I asked to see one after they emailed me first. I had made the mistake previously of not "caring" if there was a picture...MAJOR error.
I'm sorry but looks matter...it doesn't mean you have to look like a model or actor. It just means that romance has to do with physical attraction. And I won't date someone I'm not atleast able to see a picture and think...he's cute, or nice smile or nice eyes what ever...
When a man showed me his picture on line and I wasn't attracted that is an awkward moment. I just have been honest in saying that thank you for the picture but you're not my type. I won't force things. Call me superficial but I've tried desparately to date men I've not been physically attracted to in the past and it DOESN'T work.
As for seeking compliments with either sex its not a good thing. I figure if a man asked me out..he likes how I look well enough. And generally men who have really liked me in the past have been generous in their compliments of my appearance. The one guy that I didn't hear any compliments from was not interested in sex anyway..just wanted a girl on his arm to show to his friends and family.0 -
Now if a guy or gal is curious if you find them attractive then odds are for whatever reason(s) you probably don`t all that much because you would have left no doubt in their minds about it already so there would be no need for the question.
If that person needs constant assurance that you do then there is a problem brewing as nothing will ever be good enough.
Your beautiful/handsome each morning will eventually lead to needing it said each evening and then each mid day etc.
This is usually when I meet someone for the first time, from online dating... or maybe they sent me a message and asked me what I think about their profile. In these cases, they really don't give me time to show whether I'm attracted or not. And, honestly, if I'm meeting someone for the first time, I am more apt to show them through body language and communication rather than coming out saying, "You're hot!"0 -
Really I've only experienced this from online dating..when the guy didn't have a picture with his profile and I asked to see one after they emailed me first. I had made the mistake previously of not "caring" if there was a picture...MAJOR error.
I'm sorry but looks matter...it doesn't mean you have to look like a model or actor. It just means that romance has to do with physical attraction. And I won't date someone I'm not atleast able to see a picture and think...he's cute, or nice smile or nice eyes what ever...
I made this mistake too. I used to think looks didn't matter. I found out the hard way that they do. However, I'm like you... he doesn't have to be a super model or even close (in fact, I prefer him not to be). And there have been times when maybe the guy wouldn't have necessarily turned my head if I had seen him walking down the street... but once we get to know eachother, he becomes more attractive to me. The same goes for the goodlooking ones. Sometimes they can become UNattractive according to their personality.As for seeking compliments with either sex its not a good thing. I figure if a man asked me out..he likes how I look well enough. And generally men who have really liked me in the past have been generous in their compliments of my appearance. The one guy that I didn't hear any compliments from was not interested in sex anyway..just wanted a girl on his arm to show to his friends and family.
I don't seek compliments. I'm too scared if I asked a guy what he thought that he might really tell me! :noway:0 -
This is a very bad move from these guys. You nailed it, I'm just wondering what's the point of asking this question... As you will never get a sincere answer!
This is a bad move. If a guy did that, to me it would scream that he has self-esteem issues. I never ask anyone what they think about my appearance, even my close friends and family.0 -
ps you will never seriously hear the words "does my butt look big in this" lol0
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ps you will never seriously hear the words "does my butt look big in this" lol
Maybe not in those exact words but indirectly...
these jeans make my *kitten* look huge!
Do not tell me it does not happen and is a distinction without a difference.0 -
Lol not out of my lips.
I love shopping and I love my new body even though I know its certainly not perfect. I know how my *kitten* looks in my clothing
I don't need some one else's reassurance about that. That line..or asking how jeans look ect is fishing for compliments and to me..a compliment that I have to go looking for is not really a compliment. Don't get me wrong..when someone tells me I look good I love it! But I know I look good and don't need that to feel good about myself either. 0 -
Lol not out of my lips.
I love shopping and I love my new body even though I know its certainly not perfect. I know how my *kitten* looks in my clothing I don't need some one else's reassurance about that. That line..or asking how jeans look ect is fishing for compliments and to me..a compliment that I have to go looking for is not really a compliment. Don't get me wrong..when someone tells me I look good I love it! But I know I look good and don't need that to feel good about myself either.
You should because you do. 0 -
ps you will never seriously hear the words "does my butt look big in this" lol
LOL Me neither. I know what I look like.0 -
Just the same as a woman asking " do these jeans make my bum look big?".... No your *kitten* makes your jeans look big :laugh:0
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I've never asked this of any lady, but it did remind me of an odd "compliment" I've gotten many times from girls. I've had several (5 that I can think of off the top of my head) girls tell me I have "very nice eyelashes". Not eyes, eyelashes. What does that even mean? At first I just kind of laughed it off, but the more it happened, I started thinking it was one of those fake compliments. Even though I hadn't been fishing for compliments, maybe the girl felt like she needed to say something nice about me and picked the least hideous thing she could find?0
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I've never asked this of any lady, but it did remind me of an odd "compliment" I've gotten many times from girls. I've had several (5 that I can think of off the top of my head) girls tell me I have "very nice eyelashes". Not eyes, eyelashes. What does that even mean? At first I just kind of laughed it off, but the more it happened, I started thinking it was one of those fake compliments. Even though I hadn't been fishing for compliments, maybe the girl felt like she needed to say something nice about me and picked the least hideous thing she could find?
Women love eyelashes! They put mascara on them, they curl them, they tint them, they wear false one's! Eyelashes are the flirty part of eyes :bigsmile:
Take it as a compliment. Some men have long, thick eyelashes that women would kill for! :flowerforyou:0 -
I've never asked this of any lady, but it did remind me of an odd "compliment" I've gotten many times from girls. I've had several (5 that I can think of off the top of my head) girls tell me I have "very nice eyelashes". Not eyes, eyelashes. What does that even mean? At first I just kind of laughed it off, but the more it happened, I started thinking it was one of those fake compliments. Even though I hadn't been fishing for compliments, maybe the girl felt like she needed to say something nice about me and picked the least hideous thing she could find?
Women love eyelashes! They put mascara on them, they curl them, they tint them, they wear false one's! Eyelashes are the flirty part of eyes :bigsmile:
Take it as a compliment. Some men have long, thick eyelashes that women would kill for! :flowerforyou:
Exactly they were probably jealous of you 0
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