If you have no commitment, there are no rules to what you can & cannot do. That includes saying you talk or go out with other guys.

Really its you who will be doing this so it has to be with in your comfort zone/belief system.

Personally I think so long as there is no intimacy..ie sex that you can see as many people as you can handle lol. You are only on date 2 which means maybe you know his last name now..haha you can still talk to other men..he's probably assuming you are anyway.

It's hard for me to wrap my head around dating more than one person at once also...even though that's what "dating experts" say you should do. I recently started seeing a guy and we went on 5 ot 6 dating spanning 3 weeks I'd say (we were not intimate at that point either). While I tried not to get too emotionally invested, I did start developing some feelings. Then poof he disappeared. Made plans but never heard from him and honestly I decided if he wanted to hang out then he would have got in touch with me. So I'm trying my approach a little different this time and talk to a few guys at once and so far it's kind of fun because I've decided to keep it light and care-free. It's still a little hard for me not to see potential when things go well at first though. :grumble:

Once I want to concentrate on one guy I will stop talking to other guys. I don't have to be in a commited realtionship to do that but then I don't usually have more then 1 guy on a string at a time.

Personally, after only two dates I feel no moral obligations to anybody. I think it actually makes people more relaxed early in the dating phase because it helps to not get too emotionally invested. And when people disappear, as they so often do, it makes it sting a little bit less.

If you really don't feel right about it, just let the other guy know that you're seeing someone else and you want to see how it works out. If he's a **** about it, then you probably dodged a bullet anyway, but if he's cool about it then there's nothing wrong with emailing him if things don't work out with the other guy.

I've actually done this, and was a little bit surprised when girl B was still up for getting together when things didn't work out with girl A. She basically said she appreciated the honesty and it made me sound like a good guy.

Until it's something exclusive and he expressed serious interest in taking it to that level, it's all fair game. Go out with Guy B and see how it goes. I think you'd be surprised how massively different guys can be, and for as much as you know, both of them are talking/dating other girls to. It's part of the game.

I know that we have only been on two dates and I am not yet emotionally invested but I am interested in continuing to get to know him. However, I have been talking to another guy and he and I have not yet met. Since I would like to continue getting to know M, I would feel like a total douche if I continued to talk to the other guy.
I have no idea if M is talking to other girls, and frankly it is none of my business at this point but morally I would feel wrong to talk to or see someone else. My best friend has told me repeatedly to talk to at least two guys at a time and this includes dating them both.
Would it be wrong for me to focus only on M? Should I continue to talk to the other guy? If not, what do I say to him?

Ok ok ok...
There are several factors to look at:
- Is the person your absolute choice? (no)
- Do you have an infinite quantity of time? (no)
- Are you content with the person? (yes)

First, whoever you chose to be with will never be your "absolute choice". I.e, if you could instantly try all the people in the world as "potential partners" you would end up with someone else, for sure. So yes, there is someone else out there who is your ideal partner, and there will always be someone out there pretty much. By what I mean, your choice of partner is never the Best One (it's horrible in a way, but that's how it is).

Second, you don't have an infinite quantity of time, so you've got to choose a less than ideal partner at some point. However you will find that the more time you invest in a relationship, the less the fact that the person is not your absolute choice matter (time spent with a partner is superior finding a new better default partner).

Third, are you content with the person you are currently seeing? If not then by all means move on, if yes, then nothing wrong with dating just them (since there will always be someone better than them potentially, and time spent with someone is more valuable than finding the ideal choice from day 1).
(time spent with good choice > better choice)

All of this to say: there is no obligation to date someone else, no. I personally don't do it, because I tend to try to do as many different things as possible with a person I'm starting a relationship with in order to find out if they are a satisfying choice (I test them in many different situations, if you will).
In a way, if you're dating two people, it could potentially take twice as long finding out if the person is a good choice of partner.
Anyway, what is important is to not invest yourself emotionally too much in the beginning and realise that you're just doing this, dating. If you start day dreaming about the person, then that's bad!

I know a lot of people have problems dating more than one person, however I'd say, if you can, do it. Dating more than one person helps you not "waste time".

That's great if your life revolves around dating and finding a partner, but really, rather than date all week, I'd rather learn to play guitar, or read a book, watch a movie... etc. Improving myself, I mean.
Plus you're increasing your "market value" so potentially finding an even better partner next time... Isn't that great?

I,ve never been able to or thought much of someone who dates multiple but that's just cause of my personal preference. Maybe I do emotionally invest sooner than other guys and this is why I find it hard to date simultaneously.

I,ve never been able to or thought much of someone who dates multiple but that's just cause of my personal preference. Maybe I do emotionally invest sooner than other guys and this is why I find it hard to date simultaneously.

Same here! Keeping your options open or hedging your bets seems kinda mercenary in the world of love. However, its not that common in England. You meet someone, you like each other, you have a relationship Of course there are exceptions, but that would be more along the lines of a FWB or FB or ONS. Not somebody that you are considering a relationship with.

Same in Oz Nat? Or is dating several people more the norm?

Also, P made a very valid point. Has this multiple dating scenario only emerged since the inception of internet dating?? Or has it always been acceptable to date several people at once in America?

I,ve never been able to or thought much of someone who dates multiple but that's just cause of my personal preference. Maybe I do emotionally invest sooner than other guys and this is why I find it hard to date simultaneously.

Same here! Keeping your options open or hedging your bets seems kinda mercenary in the world of love. However, its not that common in England. You meet someone, you like each other, you have a relationship Of course there are exceptions, but that would be more along the lines of a FWB or FB or ONS. Not somebody that you are considering a relationship with.

Same in Oz Nat? Or is dating several people more the norm?

Also, P made a very valid point. Has this multiple dating scenario only emerged since the inception of internet dating?? Or has it always been acceptable to date several people at once in America?

I don't think it's that common, well not in my circle of friends. For sure it happens everywhere but I wouldn't say it's that common. Maybe more so in the upper echelon of good looking people :laugh: :laugh:

I have enough trouble finding one person, no need to do complicate things further with multiples lol

Has this multiple dating scenario only emerged since the inception of internet dating?? Or has it always been acceptable to date several people at once in America?

Actually, I've read that in older times (Little House on the Prairie and earlier, arranged marriages notwithstanding) women were courted by multiple beaus until they got engaged. Of course, the "courting" then didn't involve all the physical intimacy and codependence/comingling of households that our current relationships has.

If it feels wrong then don't do it.

Wouldn't you feel differently about him if you found out he continued to see others? He'd probably feel the same way. (Isn't that a golden rule? Treat others as you would like them to treat you!)

Good luck & I hope things work out!

^^This.

If you are curious about #2 and are interested in meeting him, I don't think there is anything wrong with that at this point. Then if you like him, you can re-evaluate and make the decision which one you want to pursue something further with.

But at the end of the day, you need to feel comfortable with your own actions. Good luck!