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Is he messing with me?

Laura_Suzie
Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
edited December 2024 in Social Groups
So... as many of you know, I went on a date and have been texting a guy for a while. So over the weekend, he texted me a lot. He always texts me first and we flirt a lot and tells me I'm pretty, yadda, yadda, yadda. So Sunday night, he texts me this long mushy quote about being who you want to be and doing what you want in life. I texted him back and said I appreciated that he thought of me and we got on the subject of the future and what we want to do with our lives. Then, out of the blue, he just stopped replying. Then tonight, I texted him and he would reply back with very vague, short answers. Such as: "Awesome!", "haha :)", "Meh It's going okay.", "Yep :)". He also mentioned he had family in town, so maybe he is just busy?

I'm just confused because he pursues me endlessly and then kind of ignores me when I did nothing wrong... He has mentioned to me before that he is kind of moody. Is this a red flag? Is he playing mind games with me?

I think I'm just going to not text him first for a while and see if he texts me again...

Replies

  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
    So... as many of you know, I went on a date and have been texting a guy for a while. So over the weekend, he texted me a lot. He always texts me first and we flirt a lot and tells me I'm pretty, yadda, yadda, yadda. So Sunday night, he texts me this long mushy quote about being who you want to be and doing what you want in life. I texted him back and said I appreciated that he thought of me and we got on the subject of the future and what we want to do with our lives. Then, out of the blue, he just stopped replying. Then tonight, I texted him and he would reply back with very vague, short answers. Such as: "Awesome!", "haha :)", "Meh It's going okay.", "Yep :)". He also mentioned he had family in town, so maybe he is just busy?

    If he has family in town, he may be wanting to spend time with them and not be on the phone holding long drawn out conversations. Yes, he may actually be busy. I am currently "texting" several men. Sometimes, when we are less busy, we have more lengthy conversations. Sometimes, when one or the other of us is in the middle of something, our responses are shorter and quicker. Personally, I wouldn't read too much into it.
    I'm just confused because he pursues me endlessly and then kind of ignores me when I did nothing wrong... He has mentioned to me before that he is kind of moody. Is this a red flag? Is he playing mind games with me?

    Is he ignoring you for days at a time? Or could it possibly be that he's just busy sometimes?
    I think I'm just going to not text him first for a while and see if he texts me again...

    ahhh, the texting game...

    Have you been the one to normally text him first? Or does he sometimes text you first? Personally, I hate the stupid rules of the texting game. If I have something to say or I'm thinking about someone, I text him. Period. I don't think, "It's his turn."

    But I understand your desire to be pursued to see if he really is interested. I seem to recall a thread about wanting a second date. Has that happened yet?

    There are lots of reasons that he could be so sporadic with texts. You've got to decide if you still want to ride this train, though. If you enjoy texting him and talking to him, I say just go with the flow, see what happens. Okay, sure, maybe you could wait to see if he is going to text you again. When I'm in the beginning stages of communication with a man, I always allow him to take the initiative. However, once the communication process has been established, it's all fair game. But I'm older than you and probably more old-fashioned. :smile:

    If his sporadic texts are driving you insane, it is possible that it's a red flag FOR YOU.

    It wouldn't be for me.

    Just sayin'.

    Good luck. I hate dating. LOL It's such a pain in the butt. :tongue: :flowerforyou:
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    He also mentioned he had family in town, so maybe he is just busy?
    This is unlikely. When I have my family in town, I am usually waiting eagerly by the phone for any text message that might come, particularly from a date - and I'm replying with the longest texts I can as quickly as possible.
    "- Son, don't you think we should go out, maybe? We want to visit the place and see you... No?
    - F-ck you Mum!!! I had to put up with you for the first 20 years of my life, now I'm going to ignore you forever!"
    I'm just confused because he pursues me endlessly and then kind of ignores me when I did nothing wrong... He has mentioned to me before that he is kind of moody. Is this a red flag? Is he playing mind games with me?
    I think I'm just going to not text him first for a while and see if he texts me again...
    Just listen (kinda) to what the girl said above.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I see a future world where text compatibility (or lack of) is sited as the No1 reason for divorce!! :laugh:

    I dont know what's up with this guy, but he doesnt seem to be on your wavelength. Relationships/friendships aren't supposed to be hard work!! This is the time when you should be gelling and having fun! Either you're taking it all too seriously, or he's just not right for you?

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • skinnybearlyndsay
    skinnybearlyndsay Posts: 798 Member
    Step it up a notch and CALL HIM INSTEAD!!! The guy I've been seeing did this last night because texting does not convey all the meanings. It's also easier to pick up on how much a guy is in to you by hearing his voice. I'm pretty sure you'd be able to tell pretty quickly if his interest has faded.
  • solman66
    solman66 Posts: 175 Member
    He also mentioned he had family in town, so maybe he is just busy?

    That makes sense to me, stop thinking so much. If he wasn't interested he probably wouldn't respond at all, short responses sound like he's just busy.
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
    I stick with my answer in your last thread... you are convenient when he is bored and lonely to text. Move on and look for the next guy.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Since you've written several posts about the same guy now I'm concerned that you might be seriously over-thinking the situation. You said he is 19. I don't know if he likes you or not, but my guess is that a guy that age is very easily distracted by friends, family, maybe a job or school, summertime activities, facebook, etc... My hope for you is that you have all those same outlets to enjoy and stop focusing so much on him until or unless you get a better sense of what he is after here. :flowerforyou:
  • Jeneba
    Jeneba Posts: 699 Member
    I was "getting to know" a guy for 3 solid months of texting & emailing when my schedule at Seminary was IMPOSSIBLE. He was really attentive and affectionate & I sort of got used to it. When my semester ended, I was finally ready to go out on a real, molecular DATE with him and - you guessed it - he just DISAPPEARED! I think some of these people are living in a complete fantasy world and feel threatened as soon as things turn "real." I am sorry this happened to you. :heart:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Move on. :flowerforyou:
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    You know what. He is the one that originally pursued me, so I'm going to let him continue pursuing me. But I'm not going to become all invested in this relationship because (heck if we are being honest here) there are probably a ton of guys that would LOVE to go out with me. So if he can't see how great I am, then screw him! I'm sure there are plenty of guys who do see how much I have to offer... and if he is pissed off because I didn't kiss him on the first date after he paid for everything, then that is REALLY sad for him because I probably would have kissed him on the second date... end rant.
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    Are you kidding me?! He just posted a (I kid you not) SIX PARAGRAPH quote from Christopher Nolan (director of the Batman films) on Facebook but he doesn't have time to pick up his phone and text me. Wow... I didn't know I went on a date with a 12-year-old boy... oh and he posted the status via mobile no less...
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Are you kidding me?! He just posted a (I kid you not) SIX PARAGRAPH quote from Christopher Nolan (director of the Batman films) on Facebook but he doesn't have time to pick up his phone and text me. Wow... I didn't know I went on a date with a 12-year-old boy... oh and he posted the status via mobile no less...

    Is it bad that this is really funny? No offense! But it reminds me of my situation a while back. I once was texting a guy who didn't text me back for THREE days, but yet I saw him on Facebook, Twitter, etc. Drove me nuts!
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    Are you kidding me?! He just posted a (I kid you not) SIX PARAGRAPH quote from Christopher Nolan (director of the Batman films) on Facebook but he doesn't have time to pick up his phone and text me. Wow... I didn't know I went on a date with a 12-year-old boy... oh and he posted the status via mobile no less...

    Is it bad that this is really funny? No offense! But it reminds me of my situation a while back. I once was texting a guy who didn't text me back for THREE days, but yet I saw him on Facebook, Twitter, etc. Drove me nuts!

    It's okay that you find it funny. It's really rather ridiculous... on both of our parts. (meaning, his AND mine)
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
    You know what. He is the one that originally pursued me, so I'm going to let him continue pursuing me. But I'm not going to become all invested in this relationship because (heck if we are being honest here) there are probably a ton of guys that would LOVE to go out with me. So if he can't see how great I am, then screw him! I'm sure there are plenty of guys who do see how much I have to offer... and if he is pissed off because I didn't kiss him on the first date after he paid for everything, then that is REALLY sad for him because I probably would have kissed him on the second date... end rant.

    EXACTLY! You are a beautiful young woman, and I'm sure there are plenty of guys that would LOVE to go out with you. So, you're on the right track. Don't waste your time and your emotions on someone who clearly isn't spending his on you. And, I really do think the fact that y'all haven't gone on a second date is a good indicator to MOVE ON.
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
    I swear didnt she post this same topic last week?

    He wants you to be the side chick or you are the second
    Option to the person he really wants to date.

    Edit for my pals : the OP is only 18. Makes sense now
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    You know what. He is the one that originally pursued me, so I'm going to let him continue pursuing me. But I'm not going to become all invested in this relationship because (heck if we are being honest here) there are probably a ton of guys that would LOVE to go out with me. So if he can't see how great I am, then screw him! I'm sure there are plenty of guys who do see how much I have to offer... and if he is pissed off because I didn't kiss him on the first date after he paid for everything, then that is REALLY sad for him because I probably would have kissed him on the second date... end rant.

    Ya know.. you're exactly right in this case. You're a pretty young lady and some guy would be very lucky to date you. Just make sure the next guy you date treats you right and doesn't play games. Never chase a guy who treats you like crap.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    girl, move on.

    a guy should be doing the pursuing regardless of who's in town.

    if he was busy with family he'd say, hey i'm busy with family but i'll give u a call later to catch up.
  • Laura_Suzie
    Laura_Suzie Posts: 1,288 Member
    I swear didnt she post this same topic last week?

    He wants you to be the side chick or you are the second
    Option to the person he really wants to date.

    Edit for my pals : the OP is only 18. Makes sense now

    Ummmm this is kind of rude. Don't like my posts and think they are repetitive? Don't read them. As for mentioning my age, who the eff cares if I'm 18? You mentioning my age like I'm some sort of weak-minded, asinine teenage girl is, quite frankly, insulting.
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