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I am wondering what you have learned from both your past success and then gaining the weight back. Is it possible that you weren't truly happy or comfortable with the changes you made in order to lose the weight? Sounds like you enjoy the challenge of competition, so maybe you could find a positive way to figure that into…
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If you eat until you hurt, it may be that you are eating until you feel something. You may be out of touch with your physical body and its true signs of hunger and fullness. A lot of us suffer from this, especially if you experienced some sort of trauma that made you feel alienated from your body. So how to get back in…