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I am not in the same position as you, necessarily (since everything I’ve ever lost I’ve gained back), but just wanted to encourage you to do what makes you happy and healthy. Don’t beat yourself up for the weight gain, but realize how far you have still come, and resolve to get back to treating yourself right. And remember…
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You can do it - better quality of life for as long as possible!
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Good luck! It's my first day too, age 44, 307 lbs. Let's DO this!