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He took weird selfies
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She lost a finger in a freak mouse trap accident when she was 12
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That profile picture is actually taken from 10 ft away zoomed out. She just has an enormous head
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She carries around squirt guns filled with her own urine "just in case". That's all she'll say about it
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I was a prince of Zargna. She was a princess of Xelia. We were true star crossed lovers
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She plays bongo drums at inappropriate times and inappropriate places
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The point of this thread is to LIE about the person, bro
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She hated double standards. Which was fine for be to do, but I couldn't stand it when she did
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He totally digs girls that poop in any kind of bathing situation
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Really? Fee-late is a blocked word? I bet BJ isn't. That's dumb.
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All she wanted to do was *kitten* me all the time. I was chaffing
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Once got arrested for streaking through a museum
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She always his things from me
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She never gave me rides in her invisible jet
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She didn't even have any super powers
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She refused to learn how to do things I liked
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Her lifelong dream is to be a pirate and sail the high seas looking for booty
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I was too violent for her
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She doesn't wear glasses. She drew those on with a marker
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He was always paraphrasing me so dumb people could understand what I said
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He grew his finger nails extra long to use as a scraper in place of wiping with toilet paper
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She didn't have a grasp on human biology
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She reads playboy magazine and says its "just for the articles"
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She had octuplets. That was too much for me
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She's actually my daughter from that picture. It's an old picture
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He's really bad at thinking up awesome random things to post in this thread that he thinks are hilarious
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Her favorite summer activity is melting crayons with a magnifying glass on sunny days
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She didn't like my solution to barbie's lice problem
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She didn't draws penises on her own face to try and convince people that she has friends and that they play practical jokes.
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She had a problem with what I named my GI Joes
