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Might sound a little strange, but my kids. I consider exercise and eating well like "putting money in the bank for the future". I know I'll be able to be there for them longer and with more strength. Oh yeah. I like the way I look in size 4 jeans, too :):):) ha ha.
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You may want to consider not giving up the effort to find the right medication. I take medication for depression, and it is not a "happy pill" - it just makes managing the drastic ups and downs easier. Makes my brain synapses get into shape. You still have to put in the effort.
