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Good question! I drink a protein shake first thing in the morning, and another just after working out. Then I eat a healthy lunch and dinner. The calories in the morning seem to have less effect than later. I think it is because my metabolism is fired up.
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You will not bulk up unless you do low weights and few weights for a man or woman. If you do higher reps with lower weight if necessary to keep exactly proper form you will build lean muscle. If you eat more protein and a healthy lower calorie diet overall, you will also lose fat.