Replies
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Line item
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Catch all
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Eagle eye
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Punctuation. He forgot to bring it out of the closet for his last post! :D
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He wears earbuds everywhere so he can pretend he doesn't hear people talking to him
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With a beautifully landscaped yard
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A brunette
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Pics of herself with every photo filter available
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Feeling elderly
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Not a hat person
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Is a nighttime criminal
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Wondering if he had a head
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That's not a beard on his face...it's a merkin.
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Carves random, fake signposts and replaces real ones.
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Signature stamps. He steals them from offices so he can sign checks and documents illegally.
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He thinks he's invisible
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Trapped in shirts that are way too small.
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Buying him shirts. He never kept them on!
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Never eating pudding again...
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Sells dresses with extra pockets and makes a killing at it - women need more pockets!!
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Duct tape, rope, and chloroform
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Dumping him because pudding wrestling is far superior to jello wrestling
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Losing in mud wrestling
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His favorite chew toy
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Thousands of golf balls he stole from a local course at night. Every time he opens the door they bounce out everywhere.
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He wanted me to be Elastigirl
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Covered in dirt
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Takes a million selfies in suits. Oh wait, that's not a secret...
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Smiling
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He wouldn't share his booze with me
