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Jeez,, I get no respect... I just installed face recognition on my phone. All it say is "yuk"
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If a clock is still hungry, does it goes back four seconds?
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Why don't they just make food stamps edible?
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Today's lesson. Never, under ANY circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!
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If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day? no more coffee for me, sorry.
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Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas
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There's two things that people dislike about me - everything I say, and everything I do...
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. D'OH!
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In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
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There are none so blind as those who will not see
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So here's something to take our minds off the never-ending pandemic and being on the brink of world war 3... At any given time the solar system could destabilize and Earth and Venus could switch places.
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I finally remembered to put ketchup on the shopping list... But now I can't read anything.
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Yep me too. I've lost interest in participating in this bland unmotivating design. The old layout wasn't "inspired" either IMO but it was easier for me to navigate at a glance and decide if there was something I wanted read or participate in. Now I just log in as a matter of habit to log my stats. I rarely look at what's…
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Shouldn't it be S -T -U -V -DOUBLE V (W) -X -Y -Z...
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Sounds like the life motto for most prison inmates...
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Nothing says "I give up" like a gift card...
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Wu Shu
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Biceps and molars day... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBMWT0Ms1DA"]youtube.com/watch?v=ZBMWT0Ms1DA[/url][/url]
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Diabetics should always carry candy in their pocket..it could be a "lifesaver".
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Some friends tell me... I live my life like a 10 year old... with a credit card.
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Ahhhh...just as I suspected. An exceedingly perceptive audience.
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Working in a mirror shop is something I could see myself doing.
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a single gram of anti-matter costs 60 Trillion dollars. Hmmmm... maybe i'll just buy one then.
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Write just 1 tip which triggered your weight loss. I put down my fork..
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I didn't realize you could fry air. Gotta be low in calories though.
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Does anyone else remember "Jiffy" peanut butter?
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No particle in the universe exists... until it is observed.
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I won an Amazon gift card in a stock trading contest last week. But I gave it away... I didn't want go all the way to South America to use it...
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"...Not sure if it would be good or bad for us if we did." Nahhhh What could go wrong?
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And we're the only life? Seems like planting an entire forest and expecting only one tree to grow.