_Dan1985 Member

@nossmf The reason you are only able to think of intelligent questions when you are offline is clearly because you aren't spending enough time on the internet. You need to move into a basement apartment, no windows or sources of natural light. Next stop all exercise, and strictly no healthy food whatsoever. We need you on…

^ What she said. I'm 37, and I would never have thought you're older than me. Happy birthday 🎂

Unsaid sentences eternally reap sadness T A C I T

Oh I hear this! I'm from Cornwall which is the UK's favourite summer holiday destination, we're surrounded by ocean but in the summer you just can't get close to the beaches because of tourists. I don't blame them, but I like it better here in autumn and winter when it's quiet. It's just a perfect autumnal picture you…

Great pic, moody looking ocean.

I think maybe many accounts ago when she was called Kashmir or something.

I like your handwriting. This is the sweetest passive-aggressive note ever, you even gave them a gift.

What kind of clown airport is this?!

It's time to start leaving angry post-it notes.

There's an upcoming rap artist named George W. Bush, he's little known in the scene but I believe dabbled in politics for a time and is a real crowd pleaser. If he could do 15 minutes, maybe drop a couple of tracks from his upcoming album 'Straight Outta DC' - that'd surely get the audience ready. Thanks to @cmsienk my…

Lenin ushered Soviet tenets yesteryear V O D K A

I had this the other day. I couldn't find my laser thermometer anywhere in my workshop, I needed it for a particular job - it was important, won't bore you with the details, but in a nutshell, I needed to make sure an electrical component wasn't overheating or I couldn't send some hardware off to a customer without risking…

EDIT: Got ninja'd by @cmsienk For a relaxing evening off, I'd say there's nothing more interesting and soothing than a large pile of tax returns, followed by some drunken phone calls to some exes you haven't spoken to in at least a decade. What's the worst that could happen? Could you suggest a first pet for my 7 year old…

You'd be a legend in your neighbourhood if you were to volunteer to deal with any rat infestations, I'd recommend some kind of firearm though - poison would be no good because you'll later be preparing the rats for your neighbour's dinner. Imagine their amused surprise when they tentatively ask what meat you used for the…

Surreptitiously placing octopus on kale. G R O S S

I'm no expert in the kinds of cars available in your country, but for an extra challenge you could attempt to use your neighbour's car for these commutes. Here's a fun practical joke! Enter their house at 4am while they're still asleep, and borrow their keys. Imagine the fits of laughter you'll have together when you…

🤔 One of our British miles is worth 1.6 of your continental (or Canuck?) kilometers. Depending on how good at driving under the influence you are, you can expect to be followed for anywhere up to 15km before they place spikes in the road. This just means they're enjoying the game and want to kick it up a level, you should…

I hear that casual narcotic use and alcohol makes driving cars much more interesting and is perfectly legal in most juristictions. If this doesn't sound like your thing, play the 'obscene gestures' game every time you pass a police car, they enjoy it so much that they'll follow you for miles if you keep doing it! My…

Did @TwitchyMagee leave too? Doesn't seem to have posted for a few days.

Try being self employed and still working at midnight! As for @CoffeeNstilettos - I don't really know you either, but I do know that you're well liked in here and everybody is on your side. Being targetted like that must be awful, but for what it's worth, from my own perspective all that person has done is make me like you…

The Australian ones are all identical to the UK. Except footpath. But I suppose that makes sense since Australia was a colony of ours. I mean so was much of America, but, we had a slight falling out.

As that in the UK sense (going away somewhere, like a vacation?) Or the American sense, like a public holiday?

Everyone is watching us Wishing they were in this scene Even if It's a not quite perfect film we're in. [Source]

@spooky_viv - I'm sorry to break the cadence but that's outstanding. ^ Innovative medicine promotes enhanced longevity. P I L L S

Libations are readily guzzled excessively D R I N K

People in Australia never overeat T H I N S

Sadly I do. But I'm an IT engineer as well as old. Haven't thought about IRC in about two decades.

@glassyo because you found the boomer? I'll explain more on our next MSN messenger chat.

Bloody hell, that takes me back.

As a man of science, space geek and sufferer of people on dating apps asking what my sign is, I'd like to speak for all rational people by (slightly arrogantly) proclaiming that astrology is utter bollocks, grounded in pseudoscience and woo. I'm the sign with the cow, or bull, or whatever it is. So is my ex, we couldn't be…