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The chair is against the wall, I repeat..the chair is against the wall. The billygoat is long in the tooth. Pass it on.
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In fever dreams
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Never wanted me to plow the fertile fields 🤷♂️
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In a dystopian future
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Hires out her services to all the newly created germaphobes due to the pandemic. Need a doorknob touched? How about your loose change accepted from the cashier? Then look no further.
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Hiking up her skirt a little. When a girl needs the bartender's attention for a drink...she's gotta take drastic measures.
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He stole @Paperdoll_ s lolli. Don't you know where she's been man? Get that out of your mouth immediately!
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She's knock, knock, knockin on naughty's door
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She laid a trail of timbits all the way to her door. How could I resist?
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Is she....asleep and drooling at the bar?
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Running a gabling ring. Shes got 20 on @cat0703a to outlast the DJ
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A beef pot pie in case of emergency
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A global network of skittles spies. Id say more, but I'm under a cease and desist order
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Hires herself out as a human scale. Ever had your food scale run out of batteries? Then you need to give her a call. Just place your pudding in her palm and she guarantees to be within 3 grams of the actual food weight. For an extra fee she will convert the grams to calories.
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I dont know, theres taters hanging off her face
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So, is that a sore *kitten* in your pocket, or you just happy to see me?
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Avocado
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What size shower is this? Scoot over.
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Had a giraffe hanging off her foot
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I tried, but shes more interested in her apple flavored coffee
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She promised to teach me koala wrangling, so it's on.
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Catching herself singing along to an nsync song and looking around quickly to see if anyone noticed.
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She told me she had a secret, but wouldn't tell me. It drove me nuts, I had to know.
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Sets newstype on a small town paper printer. The job is becoming extinct but she can't give up the feel of newsprint beneath her fingers, and the smell of ink.
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I accidentally let one pea touch the Mac n cheese section of her plate. She freaked.
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Her hose just COULD NOT stand up to the rigors of a full work day.
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Only takes after bath photos with a towel on his head. Nothing else.
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Works at a party supply company. She's in charge of the "hire a cupid" division. Her duties include teaching them how to shoot balloon heart arrows, dressing them in diapers, how to act cupidly, and how to toss aside all self respect.
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Tossing olives at the passed out guy at the corner of the bar. Hasn't gotten one in his mouth just yet...
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No,and I'm not sorry about it😬
