HerNameIsMischief Member

The problem is that MFP has to worry about liability. That's why I think if you were to eat, say, 800 calories in a day and attempt to post it, they won't let you because they figure others will see it and copy you and MFP could get in legal trouble. It's also why they refuse to entertain the idea of a person losing more…

I'm not measuring right now because I'm visiting family, but I'll probably start in a couple of days when I get home. I have so much to lose (6'3", start 285 curr 270 goal 185) that it's a lot more attractive to eat only when hungry rather than do what MFP suggests and have to wait a year or two before I look decent enough…

No one particular event. I want to lose weight so I can start dating. I don't want to date whomever would find me attractive as I look right now. Also, I want to try to minimize the various rude comments I get about my size. Things like "you look like a football player" or "have you ever been a bouncer" or "I look so small…

She's a torty and she's full of "tortitude."

I don't think it's that tall, either, and I tried doing the "God, I'm not even really that tall" shtick, but my brother told me in his usual histrionic manner: "Yes! You're tall! You're half a foot taller than the average American! That's why people point it out! They think it's a good thing! Learn to deal with it! God!" I…

Another rough night. Was in a black mood after the comments at my mom's friends (see last post) and I guarantee if I had a car up here, I would have picked up. Going out with my cousin and her family later, I thought of asking them to stop at the grocery store so I could at least get some beer (I was more in the mood for…

I’ll have to disable that reminder...as well as voice assist, Bluetooth, and most of the apps. I don’t want any motivational stuff nor exercise videos nor social media links nor phone.

Ended up killing 5 Miller Lites at my mom's friend's. She likes me a lot and I was in a good mood till she pointed out I was "getting a belly" and needed suspenders (I keep hitching my jeans up because I lost 15 lbs and forgot to bring a belt). Soon after, I went to the bathroom for a piss, looked at my fat stupid face in…

Parents gave me a Fitbit Versa 3 smartwatch they got for free from insurance. Not sure if I want to keep it or sell it, though it looks like I can try it out and switch to a different user later. Right now I'm feeling frustrated looking at all the stuff I need to remove: voice assistant, social media, Pandora/Spotify/etc.…

Almost 40 hours without booze. I haven't felt any negative effects like I was back at home, no jitters or nausea or anything. I haven't had a huge craving, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "When you go out with your cousin today, you could probably pick up some beer or, better yet, a pint of Beam or Jack. Better…

I understand, but what makes my situation different is that people feel very comfortable making rude remarks to my face. A boss meeting me for the first time and saying, "Oh my God, you're enormous." Someone at the train station asking me if I ever played football before. A guy in my building asking if I ever worked as a…

Those negative thoughts are the truth. I can't just say, "Well, instead of feeling bad about being big...I'll just start liking it!" when I don't find it attractive and resent comments I get. I should have picked a different screen name. I'm a guy, but I see why people figured I was female. "HerNameIsMischief" is named…

I'll never love my height. It drives me crazy because it means I'll always be seen as "big" whereas other people get to lose weight and look good and get rid of the rude remarks people make about their appearance. Yet I'm expected to "embrace it" and enjoy it when people say awful things about how I look like a football…

Had a fairly miserable day full of bad thoughts. I went into more detail on my feed, but I figure some of my thoughts wouldn't be allowed here anyway because they're "triggering." I hate myself and I've started looking at losing weight as, in the words of my mind, punishment for being this way. And not just letting myself…

"Blinding Lights" by the Weeknd. Never heard his music and was prepared to hate it when I clicked a video link in an article about the upcoming Super Bowl and was pleasantly surprised. Has a very '80s sound. Weird Al would still be my vote for SB halftime show since he appeals to all age groups, but then again, I never…

I just replaced a bulb in a ceiling light fixture at my mom's. She said, "Oh, isn't it so nice you're so tall so you can do those things without even using a ladder?" "No."

Self-sabotage has been a problem for me as well. A lot of the things about me physically can't be changed and it's been very easy for me to say, "What's the point of working your heart out when the best you can do is be 'less unattractive'? You'll probably still get rude remarks thanks to your height and build. Why…

Nah, it'll have to be no beer. It takes me at least 12 beers to feel a buzz, so with light beer I might as well stop wearing pants, I'd be whizzing so much. While I can drink socially, it's rare that I have a beer with someone (and now even rarer to go to the bar), so there's no point in me drinking unless I plan on…

I hate my height; I hate it even more when people point it out. I wish they'd just ignore it. At one point, I even considered listing my height as six feet even on dating profiles because it's a turnoff if women comment on my height or size. It's even worse when they're tall/big themselves and are grateful they found…

I hate being seen as big and hate the rude remarks I get from people ("You look like you must have played football", "wow, I look so small next to you") or subtle reminders that everyone knows how fat I am (people serving me bigger portions than others). My goal is to get lean; I don't want to look muscular. 185 is not my…

Ended up having a 16 oz of Żywiec and three 12 oz of Keystone Light with my cousins. Made sure to disdain the light beer with my favorite quote from Back to the Future: "I get your car towed all the way to your house and all you've got for me is a LIGHT beer?" I got the mildest of buzzes, but it's got me thinking of…

I have just under 100 lbs to lose now...I'm 6'3" and started at 285 and want to get to 185. Annoyed that MFP won't let you calculate more than 2 lbs of weight to lose per week. There is no way I can wait a year or more to look decent.

Nearly a day sober now. Had my last beer before I went on my trip. Got into a fight with my stepdad in the first five minutes after arriving. We were going to having ribs and he said, "This time, make sure you save some for others" and I reminded him that he was nice enough to announce last holiday that "the last time we…

A LOT of my drinking comes from boredom. If I have stuff to do, I forget about getting buzzed. I just hope I'm not jittery for the 500-mile car trip up there.

"The Chain" by Adrian McKinty. A 13-year-old girl is kidnapped at the bus stop and her mother receives a call from her kidnappers, demanding $25K and for her to kidnap another boy or girl and keep "the Chain" going. If she doesn't do it, her kidnappers will murder her daughter or their own boy or girl will be murdered by…

Instead of making my morning beer run, I took a walk through the snow. I've got one tallboy and not much time to go out and get more if I wanted them (I don't) because we're going on vacation today. I've decided not to drink and while there's certainly booze where we're going, we don't bring alcohol into my mom's house…

Going on vacation today. Hopefully a break from my drinking will set a foundation for February and beyond.

I've only seen the British version of The Office.

Don't mean to sound snarky, but what does emotionally unavailable mean?