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Think of advice you would give a close friend, then follow it. Start treating yourself like your best friend, including positive (never negative) self-talk. You are worth it, and you can do it! Hugs!
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Grief is hard and it's no different to lose a pet than a person....they are family too! I recently became a widow and can relate to the unhealthy behavior....I do it too. If you are looking for a friend, send me a request...maybe we can help each other. Hang in there!