serena569 Member

When I eat M&Ms, I sort them into groups of 4 - two of one color and two of another. I always count steps when I walk up and down stairs. I swear my feet can tell if they step on different colored tiles in the hallway.

1. Did you split amicably Do installed keystroke loggers on my computer, hacked into my email and bank history, and had his father break into my house so...uhm...no. 2. Did you kill each other during the process Some days I thought he would. 3. Was the divorce due to cheating Yup. 4. Do you regret your decision I don't…

Exactly! Many times I've defended myself to helicopter parents with the following: "She knows right from wrong and I raised her with common sense. At some point I have to trust that I did my job as a mother." I never lived in fear that a random person was going to steal her. Those incidents are so rare that I can't be…

Wouldn't do that either. I'd like to be able to say, "No officer. I don't know where she was on July 17th at 11:37 PM." And mean it.

Might I suggest vodka?

Everything. Including my own name. It is cruel parents who give their child with the lisp all these s sounds in her name. But...after 7 years of speech therapy and lots of forced public speaking, I can pronounce everything except swallow and follow. Comes out swawow and fowow.

Pigs. Eat. Everything.

I'm a great swimmer and a certified lifeguard. My mom insisted after I was rescued. And I still have no fear of drowning. It's very peaceful - nothing at all like the violence and thrashing that is portrayed on TV and in the movies. You just slip quietly underwater. Truthfully - probably not a bad way to go.

Nothing I can think of but my daughter's is hillarious: Being chased by spiders in clown make-up on roller skates carrying needles.

Exhole used to regularly call me at work five minutes after I got there and say, "We need to talk when you get home." Talk about reining the entire day. Would have been preferable to wait until I walked in the door after work to tell me that.

I'm not racist (anti-Semetic, a bigot, etc.) Some of my best friends are black (Jewish, gay, etc.)

I dumped my finace when I realized I couldn't stand him when he was sober.

I was going to say it was possible he was just being nice then I realized he's a guy. They don't usually play games like that. My new opinion: He was opening the door to the possibility of them to see what she would say. Plus, your last comment above tells me he views you as "for now" and he will jump ship as soon as he…

My daughter was 22" and 6 lbs 3 oz when she was born. She is now almost 20. She's 5' .75". (That .75" is VERY important to her.) She weight 106 pounds soaking wet. I gave birth to a stick. She's still a stick. But...every time she does to the doctor, they try to diagnose her with an eating disorder. The last time they…

1. He should not have treated you that way. You should report him to the school and to Cutco. 2. My daughter worked for Cutco last summer and I felt the same way when she told me she was doing it. I was proven wrong. She didn't have to pay for anything up front and she made wuite a bit of money. They work as indeoendent…

Water. And sex.

I live in a first world country. I've got nothing to complain about.

Me too! And I won't even correct passed to past because I'm sure a hater already did.

I must re-read. Apparently I missed the complaining. Let me help you out in life. The articles in The Onion are made up. WWE Wrestling is scripted. Not everything on TV is true. It's called entertainment.

The land of sunshine and lollipops, where the unicorns leaping over the rainbows poop glitter. Yea, it's a happy place.

Mmmmmm. Bacon.......

There are always two sides. My dad didn't pay for a couple years. After his 4th heart attack, he was advised to quit his stressful job. He took a lower paying position and spent those years trying to get it lowered. When it finally was, back support and interest was not waived because it was owed to the state to cover part…

To the complainers: Do you wake up, look in the mirror, and try really hard to find something about which to be offended? I truely feel bad for how unhappy you must be. So...do you also complain that the free beer was the wrong brand?

Kinda sounds like they have you trained. I did a great job on the bathroom once. It became my job until I moved away from home. I quickly learned to always preform below my mom's standards.

Turns out there is one walking distance from my house. I wonder if they'll hang my sheets on a clothesline.

My husband did laundry. Once. He washed and dried an expensive suit. He's now my ex-husband. Draw your own conclusions.

Everything. I hired a service. Now if I could find a drop-off laundry service.

Uh oh. I have to eat my words. I remember crying during Ladder 49. And United 93.

For Love of the Game. One of my faves. Still no tears. I must be cold-hearted.